A Place of Our Own
by SoulsSwords
Summary: In Beijing, Xiba is a young high school senior who lives with his mother Xianghua. Leixia is his estranged younger sister who lives with their father Kilik in Shanghai. Natsu is the new girl who is attracted to Xiba and becomes involved with his family... and only then is the truth revealed of the sibling's dark secrets of their confrontation with what can only be called pure evil.
1. Autumn in Beijing

**Souls_&_Swords: THIS DOES NOT TAKE PLACE IN CANON. None of this is based off of the original** _**SoulCalibur**_** series other than the speculated family ties and characters. This takes place in modern China in the year 2008.**

…

"Close your eyes, my son. Do not look with them. Do not look at what is happening in front of you. You do not have to see what is happening. How you see things does not come from your eyes… it comes from your heart." The mother's words were delicate and gentle, "Because your heart is… floating. Your heart is spreading… your heart is cruising; cruising in the ocean of spirit. In the ocean of freedom." She caressed her young boy's cheek one more time, "You don't have to open your eyes to see magic happen… you only have to open your heart."

**Beijing, China; Autumn 2008**

The leaves had already begun to change into their fall colors, though they hadn't begun to fall yet. It was late October; the students of Beijing No. 55 Middle School and High School were in their last block of the day. The scheduling was different there; rather than all of their seven classes, the students had three two hour long sessions and one half hour session during the day, lunch being midway through their third class and continuing afterwards. While the Middle School section offered basic core curriculums, many of the high school students from 10th to 12th grade either attended the Chinese national curriculum, or the International Baccalaureate program.

The IB program though grueling and required much tenacity and dedication, interested many of the students; the classes consisting of up to 20 kids per class. This program not only included all university-level courses, but rather than the four core, one of which could be replaced with an elective or additional class pertaining to the student's future major, such as math for engineering, or cartography. Another was the Advanced Placement Psychology class. The students in their navy blue and white uniforms rigorously took notes as the teacher presented his slideshow.

"There are three components of emotion: the physiological processes, the cognitive appraisal, and the expressive behaviors." The professor read aloud as the students rushed to summarize the large block of words on the screen before them. The room was dark compared to the outside, with the shutters on the classroom windows always closed and the lights switched off for the presentation. The professor was a tall man with a chiseled face. But with a jokester attitude and eager to bond with his students' outlook, which made him the favorite of his 11th and 12th grade kids.

"As we all know emotions are global," he took off his specs and wiped them with his scholar jacket, "Unless you're one of those people like oh I don't know…" he called out a student, he occasionally teased them affectionately, "Ling, for example." The student in question raised a brow, "He never laughs at my jokes! That says something." All of the students snickered, ironically enough, without Ling's joining in, "Anyways, there are five cultural emotions!" he looked around the room, "Can anyone name at least three of them for me?"

A girl with dark eyes and dark hair raised her hand, jolting it up, "Anger, fear, and happiness!"

"Yes, now…" he tapped a key on his computer, going to the next chunk of notes, "The five distinctive emotions; anger, fear, happiness, sadness, and surprise are all part of…" as the professor went on, passionately going about his lesson, one student hastily wrote into his notebook, quoting every word he said rather than straining his eyes darting back and forth from the screen to his notes. He had messy red hair that even when he combed it appeared spiky and wild. He had copper eyes and a muscular physique which he kept hidden with his school jacket. Having taken martial arts and self-defense classes for over ten years.

Xiba, a 16 year old high school senior, was ordinary among his peers. He was a short-arse young man, standing at 5'5" yet weighed an impressive 114 pounds of muscle. He was widely known as easy-going and friendly, though his closest friends, having only two, referred to him as high-spirited and energetic. This shocked many of his classmates around him, as he hardly ever spoke a word during lectures. He'd skipped a grade in elementary school due to his advanced intellect for his age.

"Please don't move him up ahead just one grade," his kindergarten teacher had spoken to his mother and father, "He'll be bored to death! He finishes the math questions in less than five minutes! He's definitely in need of a challenge." Xiba was at first oblivious to the strange attention the other classmates gave him for being so young, but then he grew awkward and shy during his junior high school years, aware that he was younger than everyone else around him. Even by a year, or even a few months, April 20th, 1992 was his birthday; he still didn't make the catch.

None of that mattered to him… not anymore anyway. All he cared about was getting through this Thursday afternoon so it could be closer to the coming weekend. The dismissal bell rang and Xiba inched his way through the crowd of middle and high school kids. He never met up with any of his friends after school despite they'd invited him often to walk to the nearest hangout, which in their case was Sanzhi'er, a small buffet restaurant just a few roads down. Xiba headed for the subway and after 20 minutes of waiting, a 15 minute ride, and a two minute walk, he was home.

"Mom?" he dropped his bag on the chair near the front door. She wasn't home. His mother, Chai Xianghua, a cheerful woman in her late 30s was normally in the office right by the front door. Xianghua worked as a part time substitute teacher of art, and was indeed a calligraphy artist herself. She had written many banners for international Beijing holidays or events and painted many beautiful murals and made cards that could be sold for any occasion, all for a price however. With a very low wage, Xianghua could not afford to give out charities… raising a nearly graduated son required strict economic rules.

The adolescent raised a brow and took off the navy blue jacket, revealing his toned biceps, "Mom? You home?" he threw it over the same chair as his pack and walked into the kitchen. He saw a note left on the refrigerator.

_Xiba, sorry for not calling, I didn't want to disturb you while you were at class. My new brushes and ink grinders have arrived and I'm at the post office picking them up. Hopefully I won't get caught in traffic…_

Xiba sighed, the nearest postal office where Xianghua's art supplies were delivered was in Fengtai, about an hour or so away from central Beijing. It looked like he would be eating alone that afternoon. He continued the rest of the note.

_If I'm not home by dinner, I left money on the counter if you want to order in! But you're a good cook, so that might not be necessary! And to make it up to you, the apple pie I made is in the microwave. Treat yourself to the rest of it!_

_ I love you, Mom. _

Xiba ended up making himself some homemade pork pot stickers that night. They were simply pork dumplings that he and Xianghua had wrapped themselves just the night before. He heated up what was left over in the fridge. He didn't mind. He was used to it. As he finally got the outer dough crispy enough and poured the water in to pan fry them, he heard the door leading to the garage open and close.

"I'm home!" His mother's gleeful voice called, carrying a box underneath her arm. She grunted as she dropped it on the dining room table, "Phew!" She clapped and raised her arms, "I beat rush hour traffic!" Xiba snickered to himself, the woman, shorter than her own son hugged around his neck.

"Aw! Cooking dinner for your mother?" she winked, "Such a gentleman I raised!" Xiba gently nudged her off.

"Heh, you're just lucky I love food, otherwise they'd still be in the fridge." He put away the measuring cup he'd used to pour the water, "I figured we may as well finish it." Xianghua noticed her son's glum expression. It was always this time of year he seemed saddened by something. All these years she could never figure out what made her teenage son click. She tried to think back to when she was a teenager, but that was too many years ago. Xianghua gave birth to her son at a fairly young age, a tender 21 years old. She was still _practically _a teenager herself.

"What's gotten into you?" the boy widened his fawn eyes.

"Nothing. Why?" he tried raising his pitch to seem more lively, but his mother shook her head.

"You've moped around all month and you haven't told me why." Xiba undid the blue tie from the collar of his shirt. It was a part of his uniform.

"Mom, don't worry. I'm fine." He reassured, but Xianghua wasn't convinced. She tried to humorous approach, gruffing her voice low and resting her elbow on his brawny shoulder.

"Is it a boy problem?" Xiba chuckled, "Because you know." She bawled her hand into a fist and admired her knuckles, "I can help ya out there! We can talk man to man." Laughing, Xiba playfully pushed her off.

"I told you, it's nothing." The two were only waiting for the water to boil out, "If it was something serious, I'd let you know." The red-haired student reminded her with a sincere voice. Xianghua grimaced, but trusted her son.

"Alright… just making sure." There was a brief, yet awkward silence between the two. Xiba cleared his throat.

"Mom… you know what this weekend is… right?"

Scratching her chin, she had nearly forgotten. Suddenly beaming with realization she gasped, "Oh right! You're…" she covered her mouth. With a smirk, Xiba nodded, but Xianghua pouted, "Huh… the month went by so fast…" she embraced her young son, "I'm going to miss you."

"It's just for the weekend, mom." He pulled away, but even just two days without him was an eternity of loneliness for Xianghua. Her son was all he had. The fact that he graduated in a mere months was already unsettling.

"I know… but I won't even see you tomorrow afternoon." Xiba grinned, lifting her chin up.

"Mom, you've been able to get through this for three years now… you're going to be fine." Xianghua had been down more than usual herself; normally she was more casual about her son's monthly trip to Shanghai. She held his hand and tightened her hold.

"Okay."

X-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-X

Xiba lied shirtless in bed as he could hear in the office room directly behind his wall his mother's typing and humming. She had to make a banner for the university she substituted at. She had to write

**艺术之****夜**

**Art's Night**

However, Xianghua was required to write it in the traditional Chinese characters. She had only studied simplified when she grew up. She typed into the language settings and changed from pinyin simplified, to traditional. Xiba listened to the rapid sounds of the keyboard as Xianghua typed in and resized largely and changed the font so that it resembled a brush's stroke.

**藝術之夜**

"Aha!" she whispered to herself as she chose the font 'Kaiti'. Xiba could hear her then scrape her papers across the table and dip her brush into the water then the ink. She glided it across the thin paper as she copied down the writings. She hummed softly to herself as she did so. These were all so comforting for Xiba… her typing, her brushing, her humming. He'd miss that over the weekend, that he knew.

Before he could allow himself to doze off, Xiba reached over to his desk and grabbed his phone. He flipped it open and his screensaver then illuminated his room, blinding him. It was a picture of two young children on the great wall, hugging each other and smiling brightly. Xiba was one of those two children, he tapped the keys repeatedly as he prepared the message,

_I can't wait to see you tomorrow!_

And sent it away to the receiver. His sister, Yan Leixia.


	2. Patterns

Leixia was just a year younger than Xiba, but she was two years below him in school due to his grade jump in elementary school. She was born in the summer of 1993 and was 15 years of age, had long, chocolate colored hair that she kept up in Chinese braids. Leixia resembled her mother unquestionably; she had Xianghua's petite figure, though she stood below her mom at 4 feet, 10 inches. She had deep fawn eyes like her brother, but a fairer, rich complexion compared to Xiba.

She lived in Shanghai, the largest city in all of China. Leixia often complained it was crowded, loud, and irritatingly 'damp with pollution'. Xiba enjoyed his visit every time he went mainly because he was with her. They always ended up finding something to do in the city if they were bored in the apartment she lived in with their father. Their father Kilik, a polite, but occasionally bibulous man who'd just turned 40 was the one who took care of her all this time.

When Xiba was 11 and Leixia was 10, their parents split up. The children, even now as adolescents couldn't remember why nor bothered discussing it. They agreed that no matter who asked who, they'd hear a completely different story from their mother or father. The first time Xiba visited his sister and their father after the divorce was about three months after. He could remember it vividly. He remembered the 15 hour drive from their home to the large metropolis area with his mother. They only stopped for bathroom breaks, which was an excuse to stretch their legs and pump gas. He could also remember finally giving in around midnight and crawling into the backseat with a pillow and a blanket, needing his rest. Xiba before hitting the sack had been admiring the scenery along the way, the mountainous regions of china, the rivers underneath the bridges.

It was the first and last time the two visited the family together. He could remember the entire weekend their mother and father barely said a word to each other and, because the holidays were just around the corner, his father gave him a music player with a few CDs. Xiba still had that music player, it was stuffed in a drawer somewhere. The first time he used it was the car ride back. He didn't talk to his mother because he was into the songs his father had given him. They were erhu pieces that he'd loved as a child. But for some reason, when the young boy turned his head to speak to his mother, he saw her red-faced and teary eyed. She was wiping her nose just before grabbing the wheel again.

That vision was forever drilled into his mind. Xiba never understood why his mother never came to visit the two ever again. When he began high school in 10th grade, since the Chinese school curriculums only included three years of high school, was when Xiba began taking a four hour train ride to Shanghai to spend weekends with Leixia and Kilik. They agreed that this would only occur once a month, since Kilik was the one paying for his tickets there and back, and the gas money to drive to the station and back to his apartment.

He always enjoyed seeing his sister yet found it strange that Leixia wasn't allowed to take a train to Beijing to visit them. Xianghua called her often, always giddy to hear her daughter's voice. They would talk for hours on end, cheerfully cooing over girl-related topics. Xiba just didn't have that connection with his estranged father. He didn't like to discuss his problems with anyone… for whenever he'd tried, Xianghua would overreact and panic, and Kilik would tell him just to pull through and deal with it. Xiba then learned to hold in his emotions, marinate them, then eventually let them go.

But that method hurt sometimes. Not just emotionally but physically; the teenager would feel himself getting sick, he'd even vomited from his pent up anxieties that came up out of nowhere. Xiba would always try to justify where the stress came from; his school work? His college application that had to be sent within a month or two? Dealing with people socially? He didn't know… one thing Xiba was well aware of was that he avoided blaming his family… though this topic was easily suspect for his dilemma.

He didn't care… he'd grown accustomed to this life style.

He was in fact experiencing another pattern of his yearly life yet again. He was dreaming about something he'd always dreamed about this time of year. Xiba always had a recurring nightmare of his teeth falling out. While nothing necessarily attacked him, it always stressed the boy out. The dream had a pattern as well, one tooth, no tooth in particular, would wiggle, Xiba would pinch it with his tongue. And either by the handful, or one at a time, they would fall into his palm or onto the floor below him.

Xiba hated this dream with a passion, but during the time, he hadn't a clue it was only a fantasy in his head. He could feel the sharp, glassy ivories dangle from his gum and fall out. He'd even panic as he'd nearly swallow them. He would always wake up on his back, with sweat on his forehead and chest. Despite he'd doze off on his side, he always ended up on his back one way or another. That night's was strangely different from the others, as he woke up with a gasp rather than blinking back into reality and a simple shake of his head.

His heart was pounding… he must've had a nightmare. But the red-haired boy couldn't remember about what. Xiba remembered dreaming of something else other than the teeth… but the vision was gone. Like his mind had purposely suppressed it to keep him sane. The image was there… but what had happened during said image just wouldn't come to him; his memories refused it. A door. Something about a door. Xiba was too tired to worry about that now; he flipped over his damp pillow and turned back onto his side. His breath bounced off the pillow as he dropped his head back down.

Before leaving for school the morning after, just after he'd showered and brushed, his mother walked in on him as Xiba put his binders back into his school bag, "Do you have everything?" she stood in the doorframe leading to his bedroom. Xiba had also packed his toothbrush with toothpaste in a plastic bag and some extra clothes. He nodded with a smile.

"Yup!" he put the heavier than usual pack around one of his shoulders, "I'll call you this afternoon when the train picks me up." Xianghua was still glum, she crossed her arms.

"Wait…" she halted him, he had to catch the subway to school, this must've been important if she was stalling him, "Do you also have…?" she didn't finish the sentence. Xiba could figure out what she meant. Grimacing, he nodded.

"Yeah." He took out a small bottle of pills from a pocket in his book bag, "I got em." He revealed. Across the paper tablet wrapper around the bottle it read,

**希霸****  
****舍曲林****100MG****片**

**Xiba  
Sertaline 100MG Tablets**

It was a prescription of Zoloft. Xianghua's psychiatrist gave them to him two years ago to 'quiet his bad thoughts'. He always took them before going to sleep. Xianghua nodded. She'd raised an honest young man. With a smile, she walked closer, "Alright." She hugged him and kissed his cheek.

"Have a good time this weekend, okay?" she ruffled her boy's already wild hair.

"You bet." He smiled. He finally got to class just in time as the first bell rang. He took Trigonometry in the morning. Unable to believe that after just waking up the teacher expected the students to comprehend such a math. They were at least still on the basics, sine, cosine, and tangent. Xiba remembered them from Geometry in middle school. As they kids did the warm up, scraping their graphite onto their papers and mashing the buttons on their calculators.

Their professor, a female teacher with short black hair stood up. She was very cute and kind, but rather scattered when it came to grades. As whenever Xiba checked them online, it was hardly updated, "Okay, time's up!" some of the slower students groaned. Just now getting into their train of thought. She picked up a marker and went to the board.

"Okay, so here we've got-" the door opened and closed, the 12th grade guidance counselor walked in with an Asian girl with light, ginger-blonde hair in a ponytail. She didn't look Chinese… but their school was international. Beijing No. 55 Middle School and High School often recruited international students. They had kids from South Korea, to Europe even. She kept her head low with a blush on her sanguine face. She had deep emerald eyes.

"Who's this?" the teacher asked, taking a yellow piece of paper from the girl. The counselor put a hand on her shoulder.

"This is Natsu. She's a new student here from Japan." Some students stared with wonder, some just shrugged. Some barely acknowledged the shy new peer, "She may have a little catching up to do, but she seems promising!" he cheered. Natsu only grinned and nodded. A small grunt of response was all that came from her throat. The teacher put her initials next to the first block on Natsu's schedule.

"Alright, Natsu. We were just about to go over the warm up. Find a seat, and before notes, I'll hand you a syllabus with the class rules."

Find a seat. Natsu had been dreading this. She hated being singled out. Holding her messenger bag tightly against her hip, she looked at the intimidating crowd of students. She heard a boy click his tongue, he then winked at her. Un-flattered, Natsu continued down the row of desks. They all seemed to be taken. As she drew closer towards the middle row, she eyed a boy with red spiky hair and… the brightest, most breath-taking brown eyes she'd ever seen.

Natsu didn't know why… but she was immediately taken by the young man before her. She lost touch with reality, unaware she was staring at him as she walked closer. Uncomfortable, Xiba gently smiled in response. The Japanese girl slowly felt a grin glide across her face, as heat swarmed through her cheeks. The teacher noticed and giggled, calling to the boy who sat next to Xiba.

"Shang! Find another seat!" puzzled, he grabbed his bag, his notebook, and moved to a seat in the back. Natsu gingerly took her seat next to the boy who'd already interested her. Two and half blocks later, the lunch bell rang. Xiba left his bag behind in his Advanced Placement Physics class and walked out to his usual spot near the environmental club area. It was a nice, green area, and full of trees, so he and his two friends had shade while they feasted under the hot sun. When he sat down, his friend. Fellow senior and long time companion, Yun-Seong. He was 18, energetic, and quite self-confident. He was from South Korea, he met Xiba around the time the two began the 8th grade. The third member of their group, who was only a 10th grader and 15, Talim, a Filipino exchange student with a ton of spunk then arrived shortly after. She met Xiba through Yun-Seong, who shared the same Physical Education electives as she did.

Yun-Seong and Xiba were often mistaken for brothers, which at times Yun-Seong would take advantage of to get double dates with girls. It was only the hair that made them look alike; their faces were nothing to be compared to thanks to their different nationalities. Sadly enough, even Xiba's wild red hair was more kept than Yun-Seong mess. He embraced it, "Hey, did you hear about the new girl from Japan?"

Also known as the girl who stared him down then giggled at him all through his first block, "Oh yeah. Natsu… I think."

He chuckled, "She's pretty cute, huh?" he leaned back against the tree, "I wonder, when will the time be right for me to make a move?" Talim elbowed him, "Ow!"

"Will you quit flirting with every girl you see? It's pretty sickening." Talim went back to her lunch tray. She'd been insulting Yun-Seong for at least a year now, since she took a higher Science course than her grade level. She met him when they both took Advanced Biology the same year.

"Aw, don't be jealous someone else has my eye." He would tease her in return, like brother and sister. Talim cringed.

"Gross!" Xiba chuckled, taking his phone out from his pocket. He hadn't felt any vibrations. Leixia hadn't replied to his text. He wondered, did she have lunch this time? Couldn't hurt to try, right? Though, he didn't want to get her in trouble. Shanghai High School was incredibly strict and had the toughest disciplinary system in the province! At least that's what the siblings had heard. Leixia had only been a high school student for a few months. She couldn't determine that yet.

Nah… wait until after school. Wait until the moment of sweet bliss comes, he thought.


	3. To Shanghai

A yellow and gold flag wavered atop of a large school campus in Shanghai. The school grounds covered over 56 acres of land. It was the center school for many other branch high schools such as Shanghai High School International Division, which was the first in China to offer the IB program. Ironically, there were more students there from Hong Kong than Shanghai attending the school. The uniforms consisted of basic white sailor shirts with the optional dark blue jacket. The girls wore mid-thigh length skirts and the men wore long pants, much like any other uniformed school in China.

The final bell rang. Students eager to get a head start on their weekend before struggling with Sunday night homework rushed down the front steps. A young 10th grader with her hair in long Chinese braids with bangs slowly sauntered her way towards the sidewalk and down the road. Leixia didn't have too many friends; she wasn't fond of any of her peers. Whenever she received a strange 'vibe' from someone, the 15 year old made an effort to avoid that person at all costs. She got negative vibes from almost everyone.

Leixia wasn't in haste to get home at all; she dreaded it, thinking back to her conversation with the guidance counselor just an hour ago, "Yan Leixia, please sit down. I'd like to discuss your GPA."

It was dark and dreary in the office, the blinds to the only window were shut, "Leixia, your grades were fantastic at the start… then they just started slipping." She lowered her head, hiding her shameful eyes with her bangs, "Your professors said you've stopped trying. What happened?" The young woman blushed; even in this darkness could the man see her bright pink cheeks. With a scowl, she remained silent. The counselor leaned back in his chair and sighed, "Leixia, I know this is your first year of high school, but this is a _crucial_ year. Depending on how you start shows your teachers where you should be placed junior year!" Leixia didn't plan on going to a university. She didn't even plan on having a career. She wasn't smart enough… her ex-boyfriend had said so, her peers reinforced it.

Continuing down the block she felt a vibration on her breast; her phone was in the pocket of the jacket, "Hm?" she murmured to herself. She paused on the sidewalk and opened up her phone, she had a message from Xiba.

_I can't wait to see you tomorrow!_

_ Sent; Yesterday at 11:49 P.M._

Today?! That was today?! With a gasp, Leixia suddenly changed her attitude and dashed down the block, hurrying home to drop of her bag so she could run some errands. She tapped the speed dial on her phone and called Kilik.

"Hello?"

"Dad! You didn't tell me Xiba was coming to visit _this _weekend!"

Kilik jumped up from his home office desk, he worked as an appraiser for real estate, "Wait! It's the 22nd already?" he checked the calendar, a large red circle was over the number, "Shit!" he dashed out of the office and changed from his night clothes. Working from home had its occasional perks.

"Dad! I'm coming home to drop my stuff off!"

"Just wait!" he pressed the phone against his shoulder, trying to put a jacket on, "I'll pick you up from where you are so we can do the grocery shopping. The station's a bit of a way!"

Leixia halted her pacing; her hip was cramping, "Are you sure? I'm sure we have time." The train from Beijing to Shanghai took about four hours nonstop. If Xiba was on by then, he surely would've let them know. But Kilik had let the thought of his son visiting slip his mind, as he quickly mashed the buttons on his laptop, processing and paying for the boy's ticket and checking into the system. That in itself would take a good 15 minutes.

"Just wait there Leixia!" he confirmed the payment and watched the hourglass icon on the screen turn for a moment. It had finished, "I'm on my way!" he hung up, dashing to his drawer for some nicer pants. Xiba was already aboard the moving train. He barely had any battery on his phone left, and not an outlet in the train to charge it. Sitting down, setting his heavy bag aside, the spiky-haired teenager decided to sacrifice his last bit of battery to call Xianghua.

"Hey mom? I'm on the train." He could barely hear her over the engine from outside.

"Oh okay. That's good." She sounded so fragile from the other side, like she was in pain, "Did the conductor check your ticket yet?" Xiba had a small card that Kilik had given to him. The conductor would come by and scan the card. As long as Kilik paid for it online, the ticket would be accepted.

"No. Not yet." The two sounded so bitter; Xiba was exhausted from the stressful school week, while Xianghua was solemn in general from being alone that weekend, "My phone's about to die, but I'll call you as soon as I get to Shanghai, okay?" he smiled, trying to make his tone seem more convincing. Xianghua sighed.

"Okay… make sure everything goes well this time." Xiba paused for a moment, narrowing his brown eyes.

"I-I will."

"Good. I love you." She finished, a tad more insouciant.

"Love you too." The red-haired boy grinned before hearing the low-keyed _boop boop boop_, signaling that she had hung up. With a long ride ahead of him, Xiba figured he may as well start on his weekend homework. But then he noticed the bathroom at the end of the car was open. Perhaps he could change out of his uncomfortable uniform first. That afternoon, Leixia dashed through the outdoor shops with a small basket around her arm, grabbing some snacks the two could share for the weekend.

Kilik had planned to go shopping that afternoon anyway since they were running low on foods, but now he'd be feeding three bellies that weekend. Leixia threw bags of goodies and breakfast foods in her cart, while Kilik grabbed tea leaves that were sold in large canisters. How could Leixia have not have seen that message? Her phone was always on her! It was practically a daily accessory of her attire. That didn't matter, for her favorite person in the world would be at the end of all their rushing and pacing.

She couldn't believe a month had passed already since she'd seen him. Xiba meanwhile was in more casual clothes consisting of a black jacket around a T-Shirt with some long pants similar to his school uniform slacks. He tried to concentrate on his homework but he occasionally got distracted by the beautiful scenery of China whenever he glanced out the window. The red sun was out, showing that it was almost dusk… the evening was nearing. And this would be a wonderful evening for the older brother. He thought about his sister… while he'd never say it aloud, Leixia had grown into a beautiful young lady.

With fawn eyes that illuminated in the sun, a rich coppery color. Her fair skin; she was a portrait of young Xianghua. Even their mother gushed at how much more beautiful Leixia is than she was. Xiba even remembered her joking about it over the phone, telling Leixia take advantage of it. She wasn't fond of makeup however, which Xiba was thankful for. She went out in public bare faced every day, without any type of powder or mascara of the sort. As long as her hair looked good, she didn't need it, she'd say. Xiba remembered the last time she had short hair… and by short he meant _short_. Not even past her chin.

Not since they were very young…

X-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-X

Leixia sat in the left passenger seat next to her father as they pulled up to the Shanghai train station. Her bag had been carelessly thrown into the backseats, forgetting her brother would be sitting there in an hour or so. She hadn't even gotten to go home and relax for a moment. Leixia's daily routine was go home, have a snack while she watched a show she'd recorded overnight, then homework. A ton of homework.

Leixia was in the gifted course in her Junior High School years, and it transferred on into the Advanced Placement programs of Shanghai High School, which she wasn't doing too hot in recently. Only a sophomore and she was taking AP Physics and other grueling courses. Kilik had thought this would be her chance to start with a bang, show her fellow peers what she was made of, then a year later, be the star to the underclassmen. Then the final year after that, valedictorian. But Leixia was growing discouraged… stressed from the overloads of homework. It wasn't like she had anything to do over the weekends, but her body retaliated the work with one weapon. Migraines.

First Leixia would see flashes. Slowly making their way across her vision, a path horizontally in front of her eyes… she couldn't even see half of what was in front of her. Then the splitting headache came. She would lie down for an hour, but by the time she'd wake up, her limps were aching from the unexpected nap. She never discussed this with her father… he wouldn't understand. Migraines ran on Kilik's side of the family; he only had them through High School. Once Leixia saw the flashes, there was no going back.

Maybe she could discuss this with Xiba… but he was smarter than her, she thought. 16 years old and already a senior, in the IB program with sparkling A's and B's. Why couldn't she live up to his standards? At least she'd have someone to listen… the bells alerting the waiting citizens that the train was arriving started up. Leixia suddenly perked up, eyes lighting commensurately. Kilik had been leaning against the door, tired. He sat up, "Guess he's here." He stretched his legs, leaning back in his seat.

"I'm going to go meet him." Leixia jumped out of the car, forgetting to close the door as she rushed to the station lines. Looking down the tracks, she saw the light of the train break out into the late evening, the horn blew. It had then felt like centuries since she'd heard that blissful sound… since she'd seen her big brother. Xiba would be exiting the train any minute now. The announcements boomed over her, the loud noises of Shanghai were becoming one with the night once again. The train's speed steadily decreased, then halted. Leixia ignored the piercing screeches in her ears, for before her came a familiar young man with messy red hair. He looked to and fro before making contact with her.

Leixia turned to her left, smiling giddily with bright white teeth. Xiba smiled gently in return. The adolescent darted towards him with open arms, "Xiba!" she tightly closed her arms around him, getting a pat on the back in return.

"Hey sis!" he greeted cheerfully, "Long time no see!" for siblings anyway, a month felt like an eternity. Finally, for once Leixia could have a serene weekend… a pleasant one… a decent one.


	4. Art Lesson

Finally getting home to their small apartment complex, Kilik unlocked the door and let his son, their guest, enter first, "Great to see you again Xiba." He smirked. The student nodded, setting his pack aside for now.

"Thanks dad." He looked around for an outlet, "My phone's dead… and I promised mom I'd call her when I got here." Kilik cringed, then frowned after that statement, letting his daughter in and locking the door behind them. He didn't answer. Leixia pointed to the counter in the kitchen.

"There's one right here you know." She unplugged the blender and plugged in her brother's charger. Xiba scratched the back of his head.

"Eh, it's been a while since I've been here." After plugging the phone in, he waited for the screen to light back up. He flipped it open to see his wallpaper of him and Leixia as youngsters instead of darkness. He quickly dialed Xianghua's number. Not even half a ring later did the mother pick up, "Hey mom." Leixia could hear the high pitched muttering from the other side, anxious to hear her voice again in person… not digitally for once. She envied Xiba for that. Leixia took her hair out of her loose braids, letting it hang down her back.

"Yeah, I'm fine." He winched, slowly growing tense. Xianghua sounded faintly frantic. After a pause from her brother, she listened to the conversation for a second more, opening the canister of tea leaves Kilik had bought. Xiba then flinched, he seemed irritated, "Mom, you're overreacting, I told you everything's going to be okay this time!" Leixia's stomach flipped as her heart rattled in its cage. She looked at her brother once more, "Yes, I am!" he raised his voice, trying to dominate his mother's sudden frenzied attitude. There was another moment of silence, his voice was gentler this time, "Yeah, I know…" what was she saying?!

It was driving Leixia crazy…

"Oh yeah, she's right here." Her eyes widened as Xiba held out the small cell phone to her, "Mom wants to talk to ya." He casually stated. This became a tradition every time Xiba came to visit… not even on her own phone did she call Xianghua often. Kilik knew whenever she was talking to her mother, his ex-wife… and he hated it. She rarely got any privacy in their tiny apartment; her father never knocked, she wouldn't dare using the house phone to call anyone, and Leixia would come home to find the lock on her diary vandalized. Hence to why many diaries had been thrown away in that household, she eventually gave up on keeping one.

Relentless of the sickening conditions of her life, Leixia took the phone and pressed it to her ear, "Hey mom." She smirked, then giggled slightly. It became an outcry of laughter, "Yeah. Yeah, I am." The atmosphere was much lighter; Leixia's cherished smile was spread into her cheeks once more, she unplugged the phone and headed to her room, "Yeah… I miss you too." Xiba crossed his arms and worried about their mother… she'd been so anxious lately, so out of it.

It wasn't her work; Xianghua in the 16 years Xiba had known her _never _had any issues with her job. Calligraphy painting while requiring dedication and discipline was her passion. He leaned lower back against the counter and pondered her attitude. He thought about her words to him the month prior this visit, "Do you promise to take your medicine tonight?"

He'd nodded, "Yeah. Don't worry about it." He reassured her for the fifteenth time that day, aggravated. Xianghua, with a smile, folded her arms. Even when she was scolding her son did she keep a smile.

"Alright. Xiba, you know I trust you… but I noticed you haven't been acting like yourself lately." Xiba hardened his features and looked away, annoyed, "Just promise me that you'll take them so maybe your attitude will balance itself again." Xiba closed his eyes, trying to blank out the thought. Leixia was on her stomach on her bed. It had hot pink bed sheets and she swung her legs back and forth in the air. While most teenagers had hour long conversations with their friends or significant others, Leixia had them with her mother.

"So, do you like Shanghai High?"

Leixia grunted softly, "Yeah… it's cool I guess." She twirled her fine, brown hair, "My grades aren't so good right now." She admitted, ashamed.

"What? Leixia, that's not good. Have you thought about getting a tutor?" the young woman sat up on her knees.

"To be honest mom, it's my own fault… I haven't really been putting in all my effort." She clenched a fist to her heart, worried for her reaction.

"Well Leixia, is something bothering you?" Leixia grimaced, getting sorrowful.

"Nothing in particular…" she proclaimed, her voice became a whisper. Xianghua groaned with empathy.

"I know High School isn't easy, especially when you were at the top of everything in Middle School, but it's a change… it's just an adaptation of life." Xianghua's wise words always brought back memories for Leixia. Fond, distant memories of her childhood, "The power of your life is in your hands, Leixia." She closed her eyes.

…

Her mother dipped her inked brush into a small container of water, a five year old girl with bright pink cheeks, brown hair in pigtails, and fair skin watched the ink swirl and dance in the water as she did so. Xianghua was humming quietly to herself at her small desk. The daughter with her shiny pink nails held on to the side of the counter as she gazed, awestruck.

"Mommy?" she whispered in a blithe tone, "What are you drawing today?" Her mother pushed her bangs back and smiled at her daughter.

"Today mommy has to write the character Qi." Pronounced _chi_, the word was meant to symbolize the yearly Taoism rituals in central Beijing. The child Leixia raised her thin brow.

"What's Qi?" She was suddenly lifted up onto her mother's lap, now seeing the messy papers of failed practices in front of her.

"Here, let me show you." She began to paint it out delicately, "Qi is a very rich word Leixia… it is the spirit of a person. It is our air, our life." She drew it out.

**气 **

"This is the simplified version." She pointed out, continuing on, "And this is the traditional Qi."

**氣**

"What's that?" Leixia pointed her dainty finger at the small character within Qi. It was the difference between the traditional and simplified characters. Xianghua got a new page and redrew the traditional Qi once more.

"Well, when I was taught this version of Qi, I was told that this is the character Qi…" she began the basic simplified Qi, "And that this was the character 'rice'." She then drew in the other letter that made it traditional, "And with rice, the food in our bellies," She tickled Leixia's tummy as she said so, earning a high-pitched giggle in return, "You can have a spirit…" she drew the character a third time, "You can have breasts… you can have a life." She finished explaining to her daughter, "Qi."

…

Opening her eyes after that second of reminiscing… she could feel them growing soggy and wet, "Leixia?" her mother's voice, digitalized by the phone speaker snapped her back in reality. It was growing harder and harder to remember what her true voice sounded like.

"Yeah mom?"

There was a disgruntled sigh, "I'm about to exceed my limits…" she admitted, "I can probably increase them, though it'll cost me…" Leixia pouted deeply.

"Oh… Okay."

"Hey, have a good weekend with Xiba, okay? He's been looking forward to this you know!" Not where near as much as she was she thought.

"I know." She forced herself to smile.

"I love you."

"Love you too…" this couldn't be it for the month with her mother… but there was one final thought.

"Oh! Did you get your school photos yet?" Leixia was then reminded of the unopened envelopes in her desk drawer, she looked over curiously.

"Oh um… yeah."

"Oh!" she sounded so excited, "Send me one! I'm going to frame it! I need to replace the one from last year." Leixia was saddened once more… for every year her mother only received one picture of her daughter.

"Okay, I'll send one home with Xiba."

Xianghua sighed, "I can't wait to see how beautiful you've gotten." Leixia was smiling, but when she looked up and in the mirror in front of her bed, she looked away.

"Not as beautiful as you, mother." She blushed.

"Pssh!" Xianghua snorted, "You're so much prettier than I was Leixia, you should boast about it!" Leixia chuckled.

"Mom…"

"Alright alright… well, I guess I'll be going now. I love you sweetheart."

"I love you too mom." With that, the mother-daughter conversation of the month was over. And the brother-sister weekend began.

**Souls_&_Swords: That's it for tonight… I'm tired. Haha more soon though!**


	5. Severed Bonds

The sibling's weekend together didn't really start until the Saturday morning after. The Friday night Xiba arrived, both were tired from school, as well as his traveling on the train. They occasionally stayed up late together those nights and watched television programs they hated just to poke fun at them. The two once pulled an all-nighter watching the international figure skating competitions and dubbed in their own voices with every move the skater made. Kilik would then text Leixia from his bedroom to be quiet every time they roared with laughter.

Xiba and Leixia also enjoyed manhua; they were the Chinese equivalence of manga, Leixia had an old, dusty collection of them sitting on the shelves of her closet. Some of the black and white photos had been colored in with crayon by the young girl at the time. Leixia had a very clouded memory of what her and brother did to kill time as children; she remembered not inviting friends over often since Xianghua wasn't fond of the snobbish, unkind neighbors they had. But she had her older brother. Xiba remembered being more outgoing as a child than his sister, ironically how they'd changed over the years. He was always boastful and energetic, tackling his little sister and raising her into a bit of a tomboy.

Xiba still saw the tomboy he'd created; despite she didn't have the persona or attitude anymore. His memories too were vague of his childhood with his younger sister. His childhood in general was a blur, visions lying there in his unconscious mind, yet unable to remember what was said, smelled, or heard at the time. Then very few were vivid and precise. Some of them were meaningless and insignificant, yet sentimental… others… nothing of the sort.

Since there were no guest rooms in the apartment, Xiba slept on the couch when he visited. It was comfier than it looked, which made resting less difficult than it already was; since he hardly had any room to turn his body on. He typically woke up before anyone else in the house did, making it awkward when he had to use the bathroom and flushed the noisy toilet. However, he waited to eat breakfast or do anything else active until the others rose. Eventually, he saw Leixia, with running shorts that hung loose around her tiny waist and a white tank top pass the living room and step into the washroom. Her un-brushed hair had been tied back into a ponytail so she didn't have to bother combing the knots out. She wasn't trying to impress anyone at that moment anyway.

After she finished washing her face and brushing her teeth, the brother and sister greeted each other and sat at the couch for breakfast. There was a small coffee table in front of them where they could set down their plates and cups. Neither one of them felt like cooking a full course meal, so Leixia heated up some pre-made egg fried rice for the two and they ate from their bowls.

When she had placed them in the microwave, she hastily mashed the button to open the door before the timer hit zero. A brief, high-pitched _beep _was executed before she completed the task, failing. Xiba laughed and mocked that if it had been a bomb, they would've been goners. They put on the news, which was occasionally interesting when it wasn't talking of the government. It irritated them that outside nations still referred to China as 'communist'. There were many parts of China that weren't even close; socialism was becoming a more prominent system in the country. That didn't matter to the teenagers… not now anyway; it didn't seem to be affecting them. Right now, a woman on the screen was rapidly discussing the Sanlu milk powder incident from a month ago, as the case was still open.

In late September, many cases of milk were discovered to be tainted, killing six babies and giving many others bladder problems. Leixia finished chewing her flavorful meal and looked at her brother, he pushed his short, spiky red hair out of his eyes. Something seemed different about him every time he visited, she didn't know why, but he always seemed sadder whenever he came to Shanghai. She set down her bowl with the chopsticks next to them, "Hey Xiba?" she got his attention, "So whatcha wanna do today?" she used her improper vocabulary, "I can tell you've had a rough week, so it's up to you!" she leaned back against the arm of the couch, awaiting his response. But Xiba nodded.

"What makes you say that?" he raised a brow, "I'm fine… and anyways, I figured we could just hang out here; you know, watch movies or something." His sister pouted, curling her legs up onto the seats.

"Hm… that sounds boring." She admitted. It's not that she didn't like quiet quality time with her brother, but she was constantly desperate to be out of the house. She held her feet together as she thought in her head, "How about we go out to the city?" she cheerfully suggested. But Xiba pointed a finger.

"You always complain about how crowded Shanghai is."

Leixia snorted, "Shanghai's _huge _Xiba. We don't even have to go anywhere specific… we can just walk around and hang out." She enjoyed doing nothing… nothing was always fun with someone she cared about. Even if they had nowhere to be, it was nice to wander aimlessly with someone. She thought about going to an indoor shopping center and just walking and looking around. However, it was a nice, overcast day out, so maybe there was no need for indoor shopping. Xiba nodded, convinced.

"Alright… just let me take a shower then." The red-haired boy began towards the bathroom. Leixia's eyes widened, jumping up from her seat and darting after him.

"Wait! I need one too!" she didn't want any hot water to run out, but Xiba quickly elbowed her ribs and dashed inside. Leixia held her side, he treated her like the same tomboy he remembered, despite her bones weren't quite as strong anymore, "No fair! It's _my _house!" Xiba poked his head out the doorframe, holding onto the knob.

"Yeah, and _I'm _the guest!" he flashed white, cocky smile. Leixia retaliated by sticking her tongue out at him. Both of them could spend hours letting the hot water run down their bodies. Leixia did all of her thinking in the shower; it was her only place of privacy.

About an hour after the two were finally readied, and Leixia had tied her wet hair into her usual preference of braids, the two grabbed their pocket phones and wads of Yuan to pay for a subway ticket into the city. It was better than walking, especially through the crowds of people rushing to work or whatever place they needed to be. The subway systems were always nice and clean, despite cramped and suffocating. Leixia and Xiba conversed of how much cleaner the subways of Shanghai were compared to the ones of Beijing. It had been a while since Leixia had been to Beijing, five years, but once during a class trip to Hong Kong, she exclaimed at how she'd never seen such shiner, futuristic trains and transportation systems in China. It was a trip for her 9th grade, graduating middle school class to the Tian Tan Buddha. The steps were tiring, but up close, Leixia couldn't even appreciate the large Buddha properly, as she had to lean back and nearly crick her neck to see it. She had enjoyed the five minute walk past the tea garden to the "Wisdom Path" more than Tian Tan Buddha. The mountains that surrounded the area were breath-taking.

She longed to take her brother and mother to Hong Kong; it was a large, colorful, beautiful city. Then again, so was Shanghai, hadn't Leixia spent the last five years there growing tired of it. Xiba felt the same of Beijing, no longer able to appreciate the beauty of the dense city. He preferred nature, the wild outdoors. Any hiking trip opportunity that came around, he jumped out at it. Once in his 10th grade year, he'd taken a class trip to Beijing Beigong National Forest Park for a day long hiking trip. It lasted from six in the morning, to 10 at night by the time they arrived back in the city. Not only was it one of the most exquisitely beautiful parks he'd ever been to, but it was the first time he bonded with his classmate Yun-Seong. They'd been in the same class for six months but never said a word to each other. Next Xiba wanted to visit Xiaolongmen Forest Park and pass through underneath the trees on a rickety bridge.

In the fall, their current season, it was a scenic area of red leaves; much like the rest of China… but this time, Xiba would have a chance to appreciate nature on his own. Especially with winter approaching; China would soon be covered in pure snow sparkling in brilliant sunshine. It was the little things that reminded him the world wasn't all that bad… that nature had its own beauty to provide without the corruption of people destroying it. He always believed the world would be much more beautiful without people to harm its delicacy. The siblings wandered about the streets of Shanghai, talking like young adults without even realizing it.

"How's school been going for you?" the elder brother asked, tugging Leixia out of the way of a bicycle rider who'd come from behind, nearly running her over. The streets were typically full of bikers more than walkers. She pushed one of her long braids back behind her shoulder.

"It's fine." She sighed, "I've just let my grades slip recently… I haven't been motivated to try."

"What do you mean not motivated?" he knew the basis of what she'd meant, but Xiba wanted to understand the source of her sudden lack of motivation.

"I don't know. To be honest, I hate school. I hate people." Her brother snorted with a slight grin, understanding completely. He zipped his jacket closed as she continued, "I'm so sick of hearing stupid people whine and make a fuss about pointless drama." She scratched her arm, "And these are the _older _kids! I'm at the bottom of the food chain right now!" she spoke with her hands, waving them around like a composer. Xiba nodded.

"I get it… but there's people like that no matter where you go, Leixia." He reminded her, not happy about it either.

"I know that, but it's irritating to have to listen to them and deal with them." She balled her hands into fists as they came to a turn at the end of the street. It was a cool, cloudy gray day, the shops around were crowded and the streets were full of cars. The skyscrapers stood tall in the sky. Xiba raised a brow at her remark.

"Who says you have to deal with them? You can just tune them out."

"It's not that easy… not for me anyway." She confessed, "It's just… Urgh!" she growled through her teeth. Xiba chuckled.

"Calm down sis, no need for violence." He patted her shoulder. But she remained serious as she stopped for a moment.

"You don't know; you have it easy." She pointed out, stumping her brother who glared at her in return, "You live with mom… who's the sweetest and most thoughtful person I've ever known… you can talk out your feelings with her." Xiba narrowed his eyes with a frown.

"Don't you ever talk to dad about these things?"

An awkward moment of silence accompanied the two. Xiba knew the answer… but he always had a false hope that the answer would change over time. It hadn't yet, "I try but… he says he can't help me with these kinds of things. He's got his own issues." The 16 year old boy was then dumbfounded, but it explained his sister's attitude towards other people and their business.

"Well Leixia," he tried to bring back her optimism, "You can always call me if you're feeling down."

"I try." She turned to walk on, igniting her brother to follow at her side, "But my dad always cuts off my phone if he sees my minutes were 'wasted'." She air quoted, "He says I only have this phone for emergencies…" She had it hidden in her bra. It was nothing against her A-cup breasts. Her sweater was padded and made it unnoticeable. Her outfit that day had no pockets, so it was a last resort effort so she didn't have to carry it in her hand, "I'm not even allowed to call mom."

Xiba grimaced with a low groan of annoyance. Even Xianghua would allow him to call Kilik or Leixia if he wished; despite she hadn't spoken to Kilik at all in five years, despite having his number, his address, and his email. The only reason Xiba never called Leixia and only texted was _because _of Kilik's sickening rules.

"Well Leixia, you're 15… he should respect your feelings and rights to talk to your… eh, long distance family." He'd had those rights since he was 14.

"My dad just dismisses everything I say as teenager drama. At least I'm not the girl who comes home crying because her boyfriend dumped her!" she then slapped a hand over her mouth, she'd just reminded Xiba of something he wasn't happy about at all.

"Huh?" he shook his head, "Oh yeah…" he muttered, they stopped at the end of the next road, waiting for the light on the crosswalk sign to change, "How is that… boyfriend of yours doing?" Xiba had met the boy his last visit… he didn't like him one bit. But Leixia was in a bizarre situation; this student needed to prove he attracted smart girls, and Leixia needed a tutor in her Traditional Chinese literature classes. His name was Hwang, a Korean exchange student who was a _senior _no less… a senior who had the mentality of a Middle School 9th grader and no qualms for insulting people personally whatsoever. He was shocked when his self-respecting sister claimed to actually be attracted to him… but she soon came to realize it wasn't him she loved, but the idea of being in love that way.

Unfortunately, it was Hwang who had cut it all off, saying his point to his friends had been proven and that she could go back to being the cute airhead she was. He didn't use the word airhead politely however, and it struck Leixia in the heart, "Don't worry about _that_." She commented bitterly, "It's over with." She folded her arms over her chest, "I'm happy I won't be seeing that asshole again."

"Yan Leixia," Xiba smirked, "Such language." She playfully shoved him to the side.

"Oh shut up."

The wind began to blow, the cold air nipped at their cheeks and it tossed their hair back and forth. Xiba was strangely given an idea, "Hey… if you ever need to talk, why don't you just email me?" he suggested, he needed one for school anyway if he ever missed anything and needed notes from the professor. Leixia only gave a plump pout.

"I don't have my own laptop like you," she reminded, "And dad would kill me if he saw me on his work computer." Xiba's brilliant idea had already been turned down.

"Damn…" they crossed the busy streets, given the short time they had to hurry across and continue to wander aimlessly through Shanghai. Leixia nodded.

"I'll be fine… don't worry." She admitted, "I'm tough!" she playfully punched his arm, though it did nothing against the brawny teenager. Her brother chuckled.

"If you say so."

X-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-X

Their wonderful day came to an end; staying out so late that the city night lights lit up, illuminating the sky with neon colors. Kilik called Leixia about three times before she finally felt the vibration against her breast. He ordered them to get home right away. Xiba would unfortunately be leaving the next morning, due to the school day afterwards, the long train ride, and the homework the two had. Xiba could usually finish his on the train ride there and back, as long as a textbook wasn't required. But Leixia's education was important to Kilik, as she typically spent an hour per subject of homework, making sure she knew her topics.

The night had ended too quickly for the siblings, as they both took an eternity trying to fall asleep, watching late night adult sitcoms in the living room. The fact that the two were both cozy and in their pajamas should've helped, but it didn't. Leixia snuggled up under a blanket, laying her head on the arm with her eyes closed, not even watching the program. Xiba, with heavy eyes rested his head into his palm, trying to let the sleep hit him, but it didn't. Not for a while anyway. Soon enough, without anticipation, he was dreaming. What seemed like a mere minutes later was hours when Kilik shook him awake and told him to get ready. His voice broke though Leixia's deep sleep as well and she sat up on the couch, stretching her legs down to the floor and taking the thick blanket off.

Her legs were cramped from being curled up all night. With a stretch and yawn, she watched Xiba wipe the sleep dust from the corners of his eyes and walk into the bathroom to brush his teeth and shower before packing. The weekend had passed already. She moped around that morning as she helped her brother make sure he had everything. They were in her room, he stuffed his night clothes into his bag as he hefted it over his shoulder, "Well, guess this is it." He bit his lip.

"Well, at least we get the car ride together." Leixia reminded, their father stepped into her room.

"Actually Leixia, I have an appraisal to inspect right after I drop Xiba off…" he seemed regretful, "I want you to stay here and get a start on your homework, they're both long rides you know." Her heart sank into an ocean of disappointment, but she kept a slight upper curve to her lips and nodded.

"Oh… okay." She looked at Xiba, with a slight grimace to his face. She walked closer and embraced him, "Well… bye Xiba." He hugged her in return.

"Bye sis." He pulled away, not letting go of her shoulders, "I'll see you in a month though, don't worry." Parting was always the worst part for the two, but it was something they had to get used to. Leixia licked her lips and nodded, not able to look into his eyes.

"Okay…"

With one last smile, Xiba left the room. Leixia was smiling in return, fiddling with her hands. She listened as she heard the door to their apartment open, then close. Leixia sighed to herself, grinning as she went to lie flat on her back in her bed. Her hair was played out across her pillow as she stared into the wall.

Her smile slowly faded… it faded into a deep epitome of grief. But she was used to it… she was always accustomed to disappointments.


	6. Back Home

The half hour drive down the busy traffic of Shanghai took longer than it should have for the father and son, who'd hardly said a word to each other during the visit. Xiba fiddled with his fingers, bored of staring out the car window watching people bike down the sidewalks past pedestrians. Kilik looked to his right, observing the 16 year old boy whom he'd barely watched grow for the past five years. He remembered sometime after the divorce, his son even got braces… and by the time Xiba started visiting them, they were off his new, straight white teeth.

Leixia used to wear an invisiline retainer to straighten out her bottom row, as it was all the father could afford dental-care wise at the time. Her teeth were straight enough, it didn't affect her bite, and the girl had a beautiful smile that could catch the eye of anyone a mile away. It was for overcrowding reasons, the same reason Xiba got his braces years ago. However, his problem was fully corrected, nit-picky orthodontists meanwhile would say that Leixia's wisdom teeth would give her a crooked smile… Kilik remembered just the other day Leixia was complaining about a pain around her upper cheek and jaw line. He was praying what the orthodontists were saying was only an analyzation. So far nothing had happened since.

The light finally turned green after sitting at the 4 way intersection for five minutes. Kilik tapped the gas pedal and continued on. With his eyes locked on the road, he spoke, "So Xiba, how's senior year been for you?" he asked flatly.

"Pretty good." He mumbled, slightly awkward in his presence. Kilik nodded, trying to make polite conversation with this… stranger that was his son. At least over the years he became a stranger.

"Senior year's a tough one."

"It's not that bad, the work load actually gets less and less-"

"I meant psychologically." The man snorted, "You're graduating in 9 months… one foot's already out the door. Then after that you take on the world!" The copper eyed young man looked out the window and sighed.

"That's true. I think I'm just gonna go straight to college." He admitted, "After all, mom said I'd be the first in the family to go-" he was jerked forward, saved by his seat belt, and retracted back into the seat, his head hitting the rest hard. Kilik had slammed on the breaks as someone had pulled out in front of him.

"God damn!" Kilik exclaimed, horrified for a moment, patting his chest to get his heart rate to go back down. Xiba sat back up, rubbing the back of his spiky red hair, startled himself. Slowly accelerating forward again, his father nodded, "So…" he exhaled, "Have you thought of any colleges yet?" Xiba blushed, focusing on his lap.

"Yeah… I'm thinking about applying to Tokyo University." Kilik raised a brow, with impressed eyes.

"Really?" he nodded, slightly approving his son's ambition, "Impressive; what's in Tokyo though?"

"It's been ranked really high in the continent… and I can get a degree in psychology."

Kilik made a left turn, nearing the train station, "Ah, so you want to be a therapist?"

Xiba kept his glance out the window, "No. I want to be a social worker."

At that moment, Kilik just happened to stop the car next to the station rails, creating an uncomfortable atmosphere between the two. Kilik frowned worriedly and looked at his son, who had his head turned away. He was getting ready to open the door, "A social worker?" he repeated, "Don't you know what you have to do in that kind of business?!" Xiba popped open the door and stepped one foot outside. He still didn't look back.

"Yeah… that's why I want to be in it."

Kilik had no response that Xiba wanted to become involved in troubled children and teen's problems. He still had his hands on the steering wheel, "Okay… I wish you luck on Tokyo University." Xiba was then forced to look at his dad, turning around to grab his book bag. He forced a light grin.

"Thank you." There was a brief, awkward silence, "Well, bye dad."

"Bye, son." Xiba shut the door behind him and walked up to the station. He listened to his father pull out and drive off behind him, the car's engine growing fainter by the second. The skyscrapers of Shanghai provided shade as the sun was already at its highest peak. Xiba sat at the bench, opening up his cell phone to look at the picture. He and his sister were forever in an eternal, joyful embrace on The Great Wall of China in his screensaver. He couldn't remember where the actual photo was anymore, but this was a reminder that someone in the world still cared about him when he was starting to have 'dark thoughts' as Xianghua's psychiatrist called them.

He couldn't remember when the picture was taken, but Xiba knew that it was their first and last visit to the Great Wall. He didn't even know _who _took the picture. It could've been their grandfather for all he knew. Xiba narrowed his almond shaped eyes sadly, closing his phone, thus darkening the screen. While he waited for the train, the teenager decided to finish up whatever homework he could without his textbooks. As he went to get his folders out, underneath his folded uniform and other clothes, he felt a papery envelope that was a dark blue color.

Xiba didn't recognize it and slowly lifted it up, inside it, through the transparent plastic, was Yan Leixia, with a fake, toothless smile. She must've slipped it in there without him noticing, Xianghua had been asking for a recent photo of her. Xiba knew his little sister's smile, and it was lovely; nothing like what he was looking at in the school photo, forced and weak. But he knew their mother would love it regardless. Sliding it back in, he heard the bells of the approaching train rise, as he was now heading back to Beijing for the next four hours.

Once on, he tried to focus on the worksheet for his Physics class, but he kept wandering off. Something had him thinking. Xiba kept finding himself in a trance, his father's voice, _Xiba, your aunt's coming to visit us for a bit, but she's having some trouble, so you're gonna have to help me keep an eye on your sister, got it? _He told the eight year old, who nodded energetically.

_Got it!_

He shut his eyes, forcing the image to go black. Not that memory! Not that memory that haunted him daily…

Xianghua was out on the back patio with her legs rested on a cushioned footrest in front of the patio chair. She was leaned back reading a novel. The fall weather was nice and cool, perfect for reading outdoors. She had some jasmine tea set on the table next to her, with the freshly boiled jug next to her cup. Her bare feet were crossed over one another, feeling like she was in her 20s again. Only 37 and Xianghua felt like an old, retired lady; at least she _wished _she was retired at this point. She was married right out of high school to Kilik's upper class family, hoping that he would be able to support her while she studied calligraphy arts. Unfortunately, at only 21, an unplanned son came along, changing everything for Kilik. Despite this, Xiba was the best thing that had ever happened to the young couple.

But because the two were so busy working to keep enough money for a roof over their heads and baby food on Xiba's high chair, they knew he needed a playmate. For the sake of their son, and their deep love for each other, Kilik and Xianghua then had Leixia a year after Xiba's birth. She was sure that her son couldn't describe the new love he felt when he met his sister for the first time. As neither could she… now Kilik had a son to bond with, and she had a daughter for her as well. However, Xianghua waited for the wonderful period where it was momma's boy and daddy's girl.

Sadly, the two were divorced before they could experience that period… in fact, the children were _forced _to become momma's boy and daddy's girl. She looked at the empty patio chair next to the small round table, lowering her book, solemn. For a moment, the mother expected to see a young girl there with pigtails, or her hair in braids with bows in them, reading a picture book, copying her mother's every move. But she wasn't there… she probably never would be again.

When Xiba finally arrived home that night, nothing could've made him happier than to see his mother smiling again when she willingly picked him up from the train station, having volunteered so he didn't have to walk to the subway station home. He'd been worried about her due to her tone over the phone when he first arrived at Shanghai, but now the two were together again, back in Beijing, "How was it?" she asked, sprightly, opening the front door.

"It was fine." Xiba chuckled, "It was good seeing Leixia again." He set down his pack on the chair, unzipping it and taking out the clothes that needed washing. Xianghua tenderly smiled, holding her hands together.

"Yeah, how was she?" she sounded desperate to know, though she was trying to hide it. Xiba caught her tone and smiled.

"She's doing great." He then remembered the gift she'd snuck into his bag and grabbed for it, "She wanted me to give you this." He handed her Leixia's school photo. Gasping enraptured, Xianghua quickly opened the envelope and took out the photo.

"Oh! My baby girl's so beautiful!" she looked like she would tear up, popping a hand over her mouth, "Her hair's gotten so long! Oh my darling angel!" she could say just about the same thing about his school photos, which she kept framed every year along with other photos around the house, "I've got to frame this right now!" she left to her room, where she kept her children's school photos on her desk. She still had a queen sized bed for her and Kilik, which she was perfectly fine with keeping to herself. There was a monochrome photo of Xiba when he was just 10, a close up of his peaceful, gentle grin. A professional had taken it; there was one of Leixia as well somewhere. Maybe his father had taken it. Who knows?

As Xiba was about to walk into his room to quietly finish his school work, he saw the shut door at the end of the hallway; it was locked. It was Leixia's room, it used to be anyway. Xianghua, in an attack of despair, locked it shut after Kilik had left with her. Xiba barely remembered what her room looked like. It was always open before their family split apart; he would always see Leixia on her bed, leaning against the wall with her legs crossed. He remembered her in some sort of pink nightgown reading a novel or painting her toenails. Little sentimental memories like that were all he could remember of the locked door. He couldn't help but frown every time he walked towards it to enter his room just on the right of the hallway. He heard the soft pattering of his mother's feet exiting her bedroom, "Ah, now my room is perfect…" she lost her words when she saw Xiba gazing at Leixia's bedroom door.

Frowning, looking back and forth between her bleak teenage son, she held his shoulders, "You alright?" Maudlin, Xiba gently nudged her off and walked into his room.

"Yeah…"

He left to finish his homework and didn't leave for the rest of the night… something wasn't right with him lately, and the two knew it; but they were already so preoccupied with other things like work and school to point it out. But Xiba knew it would pass; and teenagers typically were moody from what Xianghua knew. But she needed her son, and Xiba needed her. When Kilik was preparing to leave and the siblings were facing the choiceless choice of who they would have to live with; even at age 11, Xiba knew that he had to protect his mother and be the man in charge. He'd been taking martial arts for quite some time and, underneath his shirts and jackets was surprisingly strong and in shape.

The boy resolved to protect his mother, and Leixia had their father to look after her… so she'd be safe at least. Only a month or two ago did Xiba quit his martial arts classes, needing to focus on his college applications and mid-term exams approaching. At night when he tried to sleep, Xiba couldn't even focus on that. Thoughts repeated themselves over and over in his head whenever it was quiet and dark. Always at night when Xiba needed peace the most. Lying under his bed sheets staring at the ceiling, letting his hair get messier by the moment as he turned from side to side. Darkness always hit him eventually; no mere sleep, this was a rare, deep pit of darkness, cold-cocked. Euthanized, dead.

But something broke through his slumber as he heard a feint cry from within the house. Blinking his eyes rapidly, having turned onto his back in his sleep again, Xiba awoke, baffled by the noise he'd just heard. It had been that of an anguished grunt. Agitated. He heard it again; it came from Xianghua's room. Quickly bolting out of his room, he could hear the cries of pain from his mother. When he opened the door, she was fast asleep in her bed, a grief-stricken look on her face as she twitched and wept. He knelt onto the bed and shook her shoulders.

"Mom." He demanded, shaking her, "Mom!" Xianghua, with a gasp, grabbed his wrists in preparation to fight back, but the robust boy held her down, easing her horrified look, "Mom! It's me!" he reassured. Xianghua panted for breath, sitting up and letting go of her vice-grip, "It's me." She pushed her bangs from her face and breathed in once more.

"I hate bad dreams…" was all she said. Xiba nodded, letting her rest her head on his shoulder.

"Me too."


	7. Foreign Lessons

"Consider the following problem; a triangle has side lengths of 20 and 11." The Trigonometry teacher wrote on the board, "The angle opposite the latter side is 29 degrees. What is the measure of the angle opposite of the side that has a length of 20? Use the law of sines formula to find the measure X…" she went on as the students hastily rushed to copy the notes. It had been a few weeks since Xiba had visited, a few more and he'd be back at the metropolitan city once more. But for now, he had to focus on making sure he understood the content of his classes for mid-terms.

Natsu still hadn't said a word to anyone in the class, at least not their first one of the day. Maybe too tired in the morning to interact with anyone? Who knew? She had her bangs low in front of her face, the rest of her tawny hair kept in a scrunched ponytail with her favorite shiny pink hairclip. It stood out from her navy blue jacket and skirt, she wore dress shoes over her knee high socks. She kept glancing to her left at the handsome, red-haired young man in the seat next to her. He was intensely focused on the lesson, hopefully he wouldn't notice her staring in that case.

Natsu blushed lightly when a crumpled up paper flew past her vision and landed on Xiba's desk, confusing both of them. Knocked out of her trance, Natsu quickly picked up her pencil and looked down at her notebook. Xiba however, puzzled, opened up the small note that had come from the back.

**我们觉得你很可爱，愿意分享！****;)****  
****颂莲，眉****山**

**We think you're cute and are willing to share! ;)  
Songlian and Meishan**

Xiba recoiled in his seat a bit, blushing. He then heard two girls who sat a few rows behind him giggle softly. Natsu glanced to the back of the room and eyed two pretty brunette girls… looks like she had competition. Competition that she was no match for. Grimacing, she turned her torso back around and continued on. Later the bell rang. It was a Thursday afternoon; the sooner the students got the day over with, the better. However, unlike a few weeks prior, Xiba was in no hurry to end his day and leisurely put his belongings back into his bag. His next class was right down the hall. Natsu was the second to last to exit the room, but the professor waved her hand at her.

"Natsu, could you come here a moment?" she knew what this was; she tightened her grip on her messenger bag and bowed her head low. Xiba unintentionally observed as he was about to leave the class. She brought the 17 year old to her desk and showed up her most recent test paper, "Natsu, I know math isn't your strongest point, but I know you're more capable than this." She looked at the 67% marked in red on her paper. The spiky haired adolescent lifted his pack and walked down the long isles.

"Maybe you should drop a math level."

"I can't do that miss!" Natsu retaliated, "I need this credit to get into the university I'm applying to!" she admitted. The professor, sympathetic, sighed, pushing her glasses up higher.

"Well, then maybe find someone to tutor you." Xiba was just heading out the door, opening it.

"Can you do it?" The ginger-blonde asked, knowing that there was no one better to teach her than the one who gave her the exams. The math instructor fiddled her long nails however.

"I'm afraid not, I already have so many other kids requesting my aid." It was because of the mid-term exams, Natsu knew that. Xiba had opened the door, but just as the lock clicked, their teacher noticed a test grade with his name and a 92% mark. She had an idea; "Xiba?" the boy halted his steps, having nearly claimed freedom. Befuddled, he turned around.

"Yeah?" when the Japanese young woman turned around and was suddenly eye to eye with her classmate, she blushed, her green eyes instantly growing wide.

"Natsu seems to be having trouble in this section; she'd like to get her grade up and was wondering if anyone was interested in tutoring her." Xiba had never had to help anyone in their academic courses before; he was so quiet during class that almost no one knew how good he was in school. Math just happened to be one of his strong points. Traditional Chinese Literature, not so much. He shook his head.

"Uh… I guess," he ruffled his wild hair, "I mean… as long has Natsu's willing to do it." He submissively stated. Natsu, humbled and timid smiled.

"Oh yeah!" she'd finally said her first words to him, "Of course…" she pushed her bangs out of her face, "Would today after school work for you?" Xiba hated last minute plans, at least Xianghua did anyway. But this was a school activity; he hoped she would go easy on him.

"Um… yeah." He didn't want to seem belittling, "I'll meet you outside the building." The awkward didn't fade until lunch time, then he'd have to call his mother and discuss that he'd be getting home a little late. Xiba didn't feel like talking over the loud lunch crowd, so he sent her a message explaining instead. When he arrived at their usual spot, Yun-Seong and Talim were already there, pestering each other as usual. The three were just waiting for someone to exclaim to the Korean and the Filipino that they looked cute together; Xiba awaited their priceless reactions. When Xiba sat down, he could finally hear what they were talking about; it was about a movie they had watched in Physical Education.

"You'd seriously do that? Just bypass them?" the lively 10th grader asked in disbelief. Xiba was confused. Yun-Seong swallowed water, nodding.

"Yeah, I've got my own problems to deal with; what happens to them doesn't affect me!"

"What are you guys talking about?" Xiba leaned back against the tree in front of them. Talim scowled and turned her head.

"We had a substitute today in P.E., so we watched a health video; it was about strangers coincidentally walking into some violent scenarios played by actors to see how people would try to help them!" Xiba sat upright, now interested.

"Really?"

"Yeah, and Yun-Seong was saying how he'd ignore the situation and try to get as far away as possible!" Xiba was surprised himself; he knew that his long time pal was aloof but… he looked at him.

"What can I say?" he scratched his head, fixing his posture, "If people are going through shit, it's not _my_ shit… especially someone I'll probably never see in my life again." Did he not remember…? The 16 year old senior unknowingly lowered his head with a grimace… zoning out, "Unless witnessing it will somehow affect my life, then I'm perfectly comfortable with walking on…" he stopped when he saw his friend's expression. Oh god… how could he have said that?! The 18 year old Korean leaned back upright, "Unless it's someone I care about…" he restated, trying to save himself; Talim raised a curious brow. Now the three all had corresponding expressions; Xiba saddened, Yun-Seong worried, and Talim confused.

When the final class of the day came, Xiba was heavily engaged in his AP psychology teacher's class discussion. No notes were needed unless students chose to 'quote' as the teacher would say any comments on the topic. They had finished the cognitive bases of psychology and were now onto the next chapter; sleep and dreams.

"Dreams mainly occur in Rapid-Eye-Movement sleep, otherwise known as REM." Their professor walked around the desks as he discussed, "Brain activity is high during this period of sleep, which causes the dreams to be more vivid and memorable at this time." They were starting off with the scientific explanation of dreams, they had not yet stepped into the content and meaning behind them yet, "Any questions so far?" Xiba wanted to raise his hand, but he couldn't stand being the center of attention… especially after his first year in the high school… everyone had finally forgotten that incident.

"None?"

The red-haired adolescent was waiting around, hoping someone else would ask his question, but the other students just nodded their heads or jotted down notes on paper, "Alright then, next discussion!" He felt mildly nauseated just thinking about that event.

Schools were getting out all over China a few minutes later, and Leixia, in no hurry to get home, did her usual zombie walk down the road back to the apartment complex. Shanghai at this time of day was full of students walking about the streets in their uniforms, like an army of them. Her hair was up in its usual array of Chinese braids, but Leixia was beginning to question why she even bothered making her hair so nice if she had no one to satisfy or flatter. But the 15 year old remembered the day Xianghua had taught her how to do that hair style on her own…

The only difference between now and 10 years ago was that Leixia used red rubber bands instead of pink bows. She had heard someone talking about her in the girl's restroom earlier… only for them to turn stark silent the moment she entered and went into the stall. The young woman didn't care that people thought of her as impudent and antisocial; because she was.

Leixia knew she couldn't get indignant over that because it was true. She hated everyone. And while hate was a generally strong word, Leixia knew what hate felt like… she hated Hwang, she hated her peers… and she at times hated her father. Kilik had never wronged her, or at least never meant to… but Leixia didn't feel welcome in her own home… as though she were a nuisance to put up with rather than a daughter to take care of. At times he would take his stress out on her, which came out in verbal abuse. Instead of talking out her feelings… remembering she no longer had a mother, or any friends to confide in, Leixia would lock herself in the bathroom and watch herself sob forebodingly in front of the mirror.

She'd maintained a perfect image of herself when she cried; face red, eyes soggy and glassy, her nose and lips crunched up. Leixia remembering repeatedly grabbing toilet paper to blow her nose. Her tears were the only way she could release her anger… only one person remained in the world that she felt safe with… protected by… and that was her brother.

The young lady still had the memory of her father talking over the phone with her mother for the first time in three years since the divorce. It was also the final time they had communicated from what the children knew. When Leixia heard Xiba's name, her heart rattled, something inside of her warmed up… she could already feel his embrace of their reunion. When he first stepped out of the train at the Shanghai station, Leixia ran to him like a young child running to their mother when they arrive home from work. Every month since, unless some rare occasion where Xiba was horrifically ill to get on a train for four hours, that same embrace of reunification would occur. For some reason however, the hugs always grew more and more sorrowful.

X-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-X

Xiba met Natsu outside the main building and headed for the library, which was empty and quiet. The after school clubs usually went on in the rooms of the head coordinates, leaving the library open for anyone who needed it. They sat across from each other on a small table; the sun sank lower and lower by the moment. Natsu didn't say much, unable to finish a sentence before she grew tongue-tied in front of her attractive classmate.

"I um…" she gently slid the paper over, speaking in an apprehensive, feminine tone, "I finished the next problem…" After reviewing the basics together, Xiba would give her problems from their past homework for her to do. He would then check after her and show her anything she may have done wrong.

"Okay." He had an innocent smirk, trying to lighten her up, "Let's see how you did." This was all strange for him as well; he'd never been alone with a girl before; a girl his own age that wasn't family that is. A foreign exchange student no less, she still hadn't adjusted to the Chinese systems of education. Natsu grew up in Hongo, Japan; she had attended the same K-12th grade high school her entire life up until now. She went to school all year round unless there was a smog or snow day, and only had the days off on Sunday; in which she was doing extracurricular programs.

Natsu also had trouble with the writings at first, growing up with kanji's, not simplified or traditional pinyin's. She was quick to catch on when it came to that luckily. She also needed to grow accustomed to paying with Yuan, not yen. The driving on the right side on the road and not the left was something terrifying for her as well. Then came the government system. While none of this really affected the young woman, it was interesting to live in a socialist country rather than a monarchy. Both had emperors, but different morals. Being the true Japanese female she is, Natsu liked the idea of socialism; people working together to keep everyone on their feet. It only depended on how congress played it out.

Xiba gently slid the paper back; there were less red marks from his pen than before. Natsu snapped back into reality, "Close… you just made a few multiplication problems." He nodded, "Just fix that and you'll get the answer." The temperate girl nodded.

"Oh okay…" Natsu went to take the paper just as Xiba was about to slide his hand away. They made contact. Both retracting at the speed of light, they made simultaneous apologies, followed by the stereotypical, awkward chuckle. Just as the strawberry-blonde was about to re-do her problem, she caught a glimpse of the sun, "Wow… Beijing sure has a beautiful sunset." She whispered. Xiba looked out, not sure what was so amazing about it.

"It is nice." He admitted, "I'm sure they were just as good in Japan." Why did he say that? Why on earth was he suddenly trying to make conversation with this stranger? Stranger… that's right, Natsu was new… she hadn't a clue about what he'd been through in his life… she was his chance of a fresh start. Natsu curved her plump, pink lips.

"They were… but we were more known for our sunrises…" she snickered, "Land of the Rising Sun you know!" she playfully nodded, "Though you grew up with this sunset, I'm sure you're used to it." Xiba snorted.

"Yeah… but there are some things that are still amazing to see." He reminded her that China had so many natural beauties to offer; more than just its sunset beyond the mountainous horizons. Natsu was fixing her problem when she thought of something else to say. She blushed at Xiba before continuing.

"Have you… have you ever been to Japan?" she shyly catechized, catching the boy off guard with the sudden change of topic, as well as the fact that she was now talking at a normal volume. Xiba looked into her emerald eyes.

"No… I've actually never left the country, but I want to go to Tokyo University after I graduate."

"Oh, that's cool." She re-wrote the equation as Xiba decided to bounce back another question.

"Did you live in Tokyo?"

"No… I lived near it though. I was practically a few blocks away from it." She quickly scraped her pencil's graphite against the paper.

"I'm guessing you went there a lot." Natsu nodded, grunting in agreeance.

"It's actually not that different from Beijing; the city part of it anyway." She finished up the problems, "Actually," she put her loose hairs behind her ear, "I'm living here with my godmother, Taki… I heard this was a great school, so my dad let me come here to get my high school diploma." She admitted.

Xiba blinked his eyes… she was living away from family herself. By choice though, "Oh. That's cool…" she pushed the paper back with a confident smile.

"How'd I do now?" she genuinely asked, more cheerful than she was a moment ago. Xiba looked at her upbeat expression, then back at the paper. She had changed so quickly in front of him.

"Better."


	8. Grim Thoughts

The two stepped outside the school library, the sky was getting darker. Natsu hefted her bag onto her shoulder while Xiba went to message his mother that he was on his way home, "Thank you for helping me Xiba, hopefully tomorrow the teacher will notice!" Xiba grunted and shook his head, unable to reply to her and focus on the message at the same time. Natsu noticed the photo behind the message bar on his screensaver. All she saw were two children, one of which had to be him. Curious, she raised a brow, but then decided to keep quiet. Xiba closed his phone.

"So, I'll see you tomorrow then. Is your god mom picking you up?" Xiba was headed for the subway station as usual, always patrolled by one or two security guards, but Natsu nodded, pursing her lips.

"No. I'm walking home today." Xiba cringed, "I live a few blocks down the road in a townhouse. It won't be that bad." The boy noticed it was going to be dark soon… and the streets were notorious with jumpers and gangs at this time of day… at least he'd be headed to a public train station then a short walk home.

"By yourself?" Xiba couldn't help but exclaim, just as the ponytailed girl took a few steps, she turned back.

"Well… yeah, who else is going to take me?" she truly hadn't understood the nature of his question, until a brief moment of silence and the sickly look on his face gave away what he was implying. The next thing they knew, the two teenagers were walking down the dimly lit streets in their uniforms and heavy bags on their shoulders. It had been painfully silent between the peers. Neither one sure what to say; Natsu had thought about commenting on the nice, cool weather of the fall, but that would end quickly.

"Um… thanks for walking me home." She muttered. The wild-haired boy was too busy trying to formulate an excuse for being late to his mother. He nodded for about the fifth time that afternoon.

"It's nothing." He'd suddenly thought of his sister Leixia when she had mentioned walking home alone. Xiba worried nightly if his sister had made it home safely. Shanghai especially was a place to be worrisome of getting lost or worse… That would explain his change of attitude when she began to walk off into the dark, "I just wanted to make sure you got home safe." Natsu's face reddened deeply. She smiled, looking at her acquaintance… her friend.

"Well, that's very thoughtful of you." She gushed, putting a fist against her lip; she was smiling out of nervousness, her heart pounded against her breast as the continued down the sidewalk, surprisingly empty.

"It's nothing, really." He repeated, "You never know what prowlers can be wandering around at night." He felt like he was talking to his sister, without the tender affection he had for her however. The concern and guiding hand was there, but not the unwavering love. He at least could say he had a new companion. Natsu stopped in front of a two-story house that blended in well with the others. Xiba admired how much nicer (or simply put; larger) her godmother's house was than his.

"Well… this is it." She took out the keys from the pocket in her bag, Taki worked late. The front porch light was left on for her. Xiba walked her to the door as she turned to key, "Thanks for everything." She opened the door.

_ROOF! BARORORO!_

A large white dog came charging in between the gap of the door and the doorframe, Natsu quickly slammed her hip against the gap, startled. Nowhere near as caught off guard as Xiba, whose color had suddenly drained from his face.

"Oh my god…" Xiba had thought it to be a robber at first, with all the talk of it. He put a hand over his chest, relieved. Natsu struggled to keep Taki's two year old "puppy" in control.

"Oh god! I'm really sorry!" she stomped her foot, "Hey!" she bellowed, "Bad dog!" the ball of white fluff then gained a pitiful expression as its snarling ceased. It then stopped struggling to lunge towards Xiba and lowered its head.

_Hnn_

It whimpered, sorry. Xiba chuckled, "Aw," he knelt down to let the canine sniff his hand, thus gesturing Natsu to let the dog step out, opening the door wider, "He's sweet." Xiba had always wanted a puppy. He'd always wanted a _pet_. He would take a goldfish for all he cared. The dog's attitude had shifted from aggression, to friend, as it unraveled its tongue and panted giddily. Natsu laughed.

"Her name's Takara." She knelt down, rubbing the top of Takara's head, moving her pointed ears side to side. She had white fur with hints of an orangey gold around her ears and chest, "She's a Shiba Inu… Xiba." She giggled, unable to keep herself from making the joke. He smiled and rubbed her ear.

"You're cute, Takara." While he was entranced by the beautiful dog, Natsu lost herself in the young man's smile and eyes once again. He was more friendly and sweet than she'd thought. Xiba then stood back up to his 5'5" height, perfectly commensurate with the girl next to him, "Well, I should probably get going now." He grinned, though Natsu was rather disappointed that he already had to be leaving, "I'll see you tomorrow, Natsu." He sounded more open than he had before for the past few hours. In fact, the 16 year old was more excited than before as well. With bright pink cheeks, she replied.

"You too."

The Japanese adolescent watched him walk down to the end of the street until he turned at the very end of the road. With that, she grabbed Takara by her collar and escorted her back into the house. By the time Xiba arrived home, he had thought of the minimalist excuse that the subway train was delayed. Of course the boy didn't realize what a gentleman Xianghua would've praised him to be for walking a girl home in the dark… as long as he wasn't fond of said girl and just being polite.

He skipped dinner that night; he sat on his bed writing down the list of traditional pinyin's opposed to their simplified ones. Xianghua was doing just the same thing, except in her office with ink brushes. She wasn't humming that night… which was odd. His mother always hummed to herself as she worked; maybe this was a difficult task she had to do? Maybe he should go check on her, Xiba thought. When he raised his head, preparing to stand up, he looked out his window through the open blinds. He had a small window seat at the end of his bedroom; the thin, plastic white blinds had been left open from when Xianghua went to wake him up that morning.

There used to be a tree outside that window, with long branches that the two siblings would climb in a competition to see who could reach the highest. One day however, Leixia came tumbling down wailing and bawling; something had bit her… not bit, _stung_. Hornets had been building nests in the sibling's favorite play area. Kilik had resorted to exterminate the problem himself, only to find out that there was too many of them to simply wipe them out. Their parents then had the tree cut down, leaving nothing but a stump that grass had grown over throughout the years. But Xiba wasn't focusing on that… he was focusing what was past the tree and still remained standing. The vacant house across the street.

It wasn't always vacant however, but Xiba checked nightly, reassuring himself that the _For Rent_ sign was still posted flatly on the lawn. He felt like someone would be watching him if he didn't close the blinds; looking at the bottle of pills on his desk and back at the window, he quickly leapt up from his small bed and turned the string that shut them closed.

Leixia was having a more relaxing Thursday night than she had expected. She managed to eat a snack while watching her recorded shows and still finish her homework before it had gotten too late. She decided to take advantage of this and take a nice hot bath. Not a shower, a bath. She could lie down with her legs and feet out, relaxing in the hot, bubbly water that absorbed all her troubles. She usually brought a novel with her to keep entertained while her hair soaked or while she relaxed. It was rare that the 15 year old would give herself a treat like this, but she deserved it she felt.

Leixia took the soapy luffa, drowned with white gardenia scented body wash and lavishly stroked and pressed into her soft, delicate flesh as she scrubbed herself gently clean. She glided the fibered material down her smooth legs as she lifted them upright, her short stature making it easy to reach her toes despite being on her back. She was floating. Leixia closed her eyes and was in an ocean. Not in the bathtub of a wasted away apartment in Shanghai… but she was in the sea.

No, not the sea… she was in the Yangtze River… flowing freely as her body wished, freely through the perils of life where she didn't have to confront her conflicts, her issues. Oceans went on for eternity, rivers came to an end. Leixia allowed herself to drift into her own place as she let the water reach her chin. It was the illusion of being intoxicated; intoxicated with some sort of drug that was her own desire to escape reality that was her life.

X-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-X

Xiba felt dizzy and tired, his mind in a fog. He couldn't exactly remember how it happened, but he could hear a voice behind him, no beside him, were they talking to him? Eyes partially open, he didn't see much but when he turned around, he could see his mother with a frantic look on her face. Her mouth was opening and closing, obviously saying something, but he heard nothing.

Why was she so scared? What was wrong with her? She was pointing to the right, and he couldn't understand what she was talking about until he looked and saw the empty bottle of pills.

"Spit them out!" She screamed as clear as day.

Xiba's heart raced/ Why was the pill bottle empty? He turned to look down and saw he was standing over the toilet while he looked to the side, he could see his mother on the phone, crying, who was she talking to?

"He's going to overdose," he heard her say through sobs. She turned to him, her eyes pink from crying. "Why would you do that? Spit them out!"

Xiba's heart quickened. Who was going to overdose? He looked at her, holding the bottle, reading the information on the phone, but he still couldn't hear what she was saying. She was fading away.

"Xiba, please, listen, spit it out!" His mother screamed again, frantically then it finally hit him what he had done. How'd he end up taking that much? He sat over the toilet, trying to force him regurgitate the medicine out of his system, but nothing happened.

His mother backed herself into the bathroom counter, tears in her eyes as she slowly fell to her knees, her head resting on her knees. "Please, Xiba," she cried out.

He stuck his finger down his throat until he felt his stomach weaken and he threw up, pill after pill fell into his hand in quick motion as throw up came out mixed with blood.

His mother cried out something as he fell down weak, feeling nauseated. He opened his mouth to say something but a tooth came out then five more and when he tried to tell his mother what was going on, another tooth came out as he took his mother who watched him with fearful eyes.

He reached up over to the toilet, his hand grabbing the side so that he could stand up straight but found himself, throwing up again, this time, teeth, pills, and blood filled the toilet to the top.

He looked into the mirror, he was toothless and dying. His mother would be all alone because of one simple mistake that he couldn't remember making.

But as his heart began to turn to stone from the fear and shock, his eyes jerked open as he panted heavily. Where was he? Was he dying? He was; he was going to die. His lips moved noiselessly as he could feel the sweat on his pillow and body, had he not been shirtless, it would've been soaked. Wide eyed and dazed, Xiba pushed himself off of his back and upright.

His copper eyes looked back and forth around the room, readjusting his surroundings and his emotions telling himself that he was alright, "I'm not gonna die." He whispered, closing his eyes which were now too heavy to even keep midway open. Landing on his side, Xiba was out the moment his head made contact with his pillow.

_I'm not gonna die_

His mind repeated just before going into a different dimension of dreams. But Xiba knew, deep down, that he was going to die. Someday… but not today.

**Souls_&_Swords: Chapter helped** **revised by NeoMiniTails! Arigato Neo-San! =)**


	9. Repetition

"Did you hear what the seniors did?" a girl was chatting quietly with another in the halls of Shanghai High, "I heard someone pulled a prank on the principal and filled his office with silly string!" the uniformed 10th graders then halted for a brief moment. A pretty, disgruntled brunette approached them with a paper cup, not even giving them a hateful glance for gossiping about her the other day, heading for the water fountain. Leixia noticed they were right in front of said machine that provided a sacrosanct liquid.

She waited for them to politely move out of the way but it seemed their heads were full of air, "Excuse me." She mumbled incoherently, they shyly stepped out of the way as Leixia went on with her drink. They decided to ignore her just as she did them and continued.

"Heh, well the graduating class is huge! It couldn't have been _everyone_! Who do you think instigated it?"

Leixia tried to tune them out, she hated pointless gossip, "I heard it was Hwang Seong-Gyeong." The Chinese girl's stomach dropped, she flinched, letting go of the small tapper on the fountain and turned around. Her long braids hit her shoulders as she did.

"The Korean guy? I always thought he was a goody two shoes!"

Leixia wanted to laugh uncontrollably at that… why was she even surprised that he pulled such a stunt? "Well, the principal has no way of figuring it out!" the two students then trailed down the empty halls to wherever they skipped class, "I can't wait to hear about the lecture he'll give the senior class!"

Leixia had heard a completely different conversation… even Hwang, who'd crumbled her self-esteem into small sedimentary pebbles had more guts than her… she shrugged it off and sipped her water, walking back to class. It was a Friday afternoon in China; the students in Beijing were at their usual work load. Xiba's head had been bobbing all day, his eyes felt heavy. The red-haired young man struggled to keep awake as he wrote down the notes on sleep disorders. For about the eighteenth time that day, he shook his head with a grunt.

"Alright, we've gone over insomnia, sleep paralysis, narcolepsy, all that good stuff." Their professor leaned against his desk, "Any questions or comments so far?" none of the students ever responded, and Xiba was too exhausted to even consider speaking. He'd hardly been able to look his lunch-mates in the eye as he tried to communicate with them, he hadn't even stood erect that day, "Any?" he repeated, encouraging his students to become more engaged, but it was clear they were anticipating the dismissal bell so their Friday could begin. Xiba wanted to go home and nap… a much needed and dearly appreciated nap had to be taken. The psychology professor took off his glasses, smirking.

"Well, I've got an interesting side note for you." He cleaned them with his jacket and walked along the isles, "There is one disorder that people…" he waved his hand around, "Discard because they think it's such a miniscule issue." He walked past the ripped young man with dark circles under his amber eyes, "It's called dream anxiety disorder." Xiba suddenly perked up, shaking his head again with a flustered look. Had he read his mind?

"In layman's terms, nightmare disorder." He stopped at the end of the class and looked out at his students with a different point of view, "It's characterized by frequent nightmares that occur during the REM stage of sleep. This is important because in recent cases, they are associated with Borderline Personality Disorder." Xiba turned his body around, forcing himself to keep his eyes more than mid-way open. The teenager was surprised that the professor wasn't looking at him straight on, especially with how tired he'd been, "This is not something that can be ignored… people associated with either disorder are more likely to-" he was interrupted by the bell.

This wasn't just any bell; it was the Friday dismissal bell, as students quickly grabbed their bags and went straight for the door. Xiba was in no hurry, it was still one week before he'd be seeing Leixia again, and his mother would be working as a substitute for the night art classes. While his long awaited nap reached out to him, the professor had truly spoken directly to him with that little fact he'd thrown in to kill time. He remained cemented to his seat, eyes not leaving the man, even as he walked past him to go to his desk.

"Have a good day, Xiba." The student wasn't ready to leave just yet; had he even spoken to him in class at all that year? It was now late November… how could a teacher hate a student who never talked? Remembering that he couldn't stay, he slowly stood up and lifted his black bag over his shoulder. He looked at his professor once again who'd sat down to grade papers. He was hesitant, but he needed to approach him…

"Uh… sir?" he stood in front of the desk, his teacher peered his eyes up in response, "About dream anxiety disorder… is it always associated with Borderline Personality Disorder?" his professor took off his glasses, something Xiba had seen people in movies do when something dramatic was stated.

"Not always… but people who do happen to have both can get treated for them with the same techniques." He stood up, "It's like killing two birds with one stone."

"Oh… okay." He grinned, his mind slightly clouded and fogged. The two had an awkward stare off before Xiba decided to turn for the exit, "Well… I'll see you Monday." The professor didn't acknowledge his gesture. He had to finally bring it up now that he had a private moment with him.

"Xiba." He called, firmly, startling the boy into turning his whole body around, "I've been meaning to talk to you… but up until now I haven't had the chance." He tried to keep a calm demeanor, reminding the student that he meant well. Xiba's brows drew a worried look, he reminded himself he wasn't in trouble… he couldn't think of anything he may have done that could even hint at the _possibility _of it.

"Xiba, your mother informed me of what happened… two years ago." Xiba's expression didn't change, he only mustered a grimace.

"Oh…" he mumbled.

"She informed all of us teachers by email actually, so that we know you are on medication." Xiba nodded, "I just want you to know that if you ever need a place to go whenever you feel anxious, just let us know. We'll understand." Xiba hated this kind of attention. It was pity, "Even if it's just out in the hall for a few minutes."

"Yes… thank you." He blushed, still fully ashamed of what had caused this 'privilege'. His teacher still eyed him concerned, yet approached him thoughtfully. He walked towards him.

"Listen, I'm a psychology teacher; I know these things are real, and they're serious." He was actually the first person who made Xiba feel normal about what had happened, even Yun-Seong still wasn't able to talk comfortably of it, "I know I'm probably not the first person a teenager would want to come to; but if you need to talk about it, let me know."

Xiba wouldn't be coming to anyone to talk about it… he never wanted to talk about it, "Thanks. I'll keep that in mind." He lied, just before walking out the door and outside the building. Natsu twirled at her tawny ponytail as she held her heavy bag at her waist. She looked beyond the faces of the students walking off the campus and towards her path, looking for one particular, handsome face. Her spring green eyes lit up when she finally saw him, unaware of how dull and tired he was. She smiled with her pink lips.

"Xiba!" She called over the chatter of students. He looked around before the Japanese blonde rushed up to him, "Hey!" she kindly greeted for the second time that day, though she acted like it had been a week.

"How's it going?" he bubbled out, woozy and awaiting his bed at home. Natsu noticed his discombobulated appearance. Worn out and pale. Had he slept at all the night before? First it had been the nightmare, then the thinking about it, then the fear of falling back asleep into it that kept him up later on the night before. Then of course the realization of he had to be up on time for school that came on top of all that nonsense.

"Are you alright?" they began walking down the sidewalk together. Xiba nodded with his eyes closed.

"I'm fine, just tired. I don't think I'd be able to tutor you today." He rubbed his eyes. Natsu scratched her cheek with a faint blush.

"Oh… well, that's not what I wanted to ask you." He didn't know she even wanted to ask him something, "I uh…" she lost her nerve, halting her next step and holding her hands low in front of her body. Xiba turned to the shy teenager before him.

"What's wrong?" he wondered aloud.

"I um… I wanted to know if you wanted to…" she shied away, looking in the opposite direction. Xiba raised a brow.

"To… hang out?" that was… odd. At least to him; for even his closest friends knew to opt out on inviting him places.

"Well yeah, as friends." She murmured, not wanting to trick him on a date, but not wanting to miss this opportunity, "I thought we could get to know each other a little better." Natsu admitted. The oblivious and dreary boy shook his head regrettably.

"I don't think I'll be able to… at least not _this _weekend. I'm not exactly a… people person." He explained, trying not to be hurtful to the new soul in front of him. Natsu frowned, the army of students was gradually decreasing as some headed home or to a nearby hang out.

"Oh, that's fine… but could we at least exchange numbers?" she had a backup plan. Natsu took out her flip phone that had a small _Hello Kitty _sticker on the back. Unabashed that she had bought said sticker recently.

"Yeah… that's cool." He took out his phone and did the same, unable to ignore his screensaver like every time he opened his phone up. The spiky-haired boy always had to take a moment and observe the picture before finishing the virtual task. Once the two gave each other their contact, Xiba prowled onto the subway then dragged his feet into his home. Xianghua had left the key underneath the mat.

Not bothering to take his uniform off, Xiba fell face first onto his bed. He didn't even have the energy to remove the jacket even. Finally with silence… blissful silence, the 16 year old lied on his stomach with his eyes closed for a few moments before gently lifting them and looking across his bedroom at the open door. Xiba hated open doors, completely opposite of his sister when they lived together. He felt exposed, unprotected, whereas Leixia saw closed or worse, locked doors as a cage… a _prison_.

Xiba liked his cage… birds born in a cage think of flying to be a sin. But not in this boy's case… he was born with the perfect chance of being a happy-go-lucky adventurer who could make plenty of friends and be out every night. He chose to sit in his small confined cage… it was his sanctuary. It was his home.

It was all he had.

Xianghua however had begged him to get out of this stage and be social; hang out with Talim and Yun-Seong at Sanzhi'er, or even go to a movie with them, 'Something!' She'd say. This wasn't the first time Xiba had felt like this… the first time was…

Two years ago.

Sitting up on his knees on his unmade bed, he realized something… if this kept up, he'd have a lousy senior year. Especially if history truly did repeat itself. Picking up his phone and… though hesitant, proposed a text.

_Do you still want to hang out this weekend?_

_ To: Natsu_


	10. Fast Friends

"Un…" Leixia grunted softly, a disgruntled expression on her face. She'd longed sleep all day, it was raining at Shanghai late that night, the rain beat against her bedroom window. Her glossy brown hair was tied back into a ponytail, let up by accident as she blacked out on her bed. Her head turned itself over to the side, "No," she murmured, barely audible that if she were awake, even _she _wouldn't believe she had said something. Finally with a gasp of breath, Leixia opened her pretty brown eyes.

Completely oblivious as to how she ended up unconscious over her bed sheets with her hand on her tummy, her eyes darted right and left in an attempt to determine where she was. The first thing the Chinese teenager heard upon awakening was the roaring of rain drops on the roof and trailing down her window. Her blinds, that she normally closed to force out the night lights of Shanghai, were open and the water drop's pathways made dark shadows in her room.

It was chilly; she sat up and quickly pushed her feet underneath her comforters. Leixia needed no rush to fall back asleep, as it was the weekend. And she had nothing but time to sleep on the weekends… until she was forced to study for hours on end. She looked out into the hall through her open door, if her father's apartment even had a 'hall', straight into Kilik's bedroom. He normally kept his closed in respect of his daughter's privacy; at least she liked to think that was why. The 15 year old watched as he fumbled in his bed sheets with a disturbed expression.

Was he having nightmares too?

Leixia frowned sadly; while she was on thin ice with her father, she still cared about him… but not the way a daughter loves her father, the way a companion looks out for one another. He was all she had until she was on her own. How long _had _it been since they told each other 'I love you' without sounding forced? She always had a feeling he looked down on her because she resembled Xianghua, almost a perfect facial portrait. Bringing her covers up to her torso and hugging her knees, she thought.

She recollected the dream; the girl was running through the streets of Shanghai, they were busier and more colorful than ever as she had a vivid image of the city. Leixia even recognized the exact streets she was racing down, Nanjing Lu. Pedestrians and people blocked her way as she desperately rushed for a specific destination she wasn't sure of. Leixia wasn't trying to find someone, but to get away from something. The lights were shining like the Las Vegas strip, the only sources of light as she fled.

It had been down pouring in her dream, most likely the real life rain pressing through into her subconscious. When she finally made it to a subway station that was damp and brightly lit, the adolescent believed she had finally reached safety. But she could still feel the demonic presence drawing near. It was behind her and it was getting closer… and closer…

She saw ahead of her, her brother. Xiba was her only hope of protection from the darkness that had been viciously stalking her, as she lunged towards him and nearly leaped into his arms. She awoke just before contact. Leixia never figured out what it was she was frightened of. The girl simply _knew _that what was after her wanted her to cease. Perhaps stress from school was taking a toll on her psyche… or she _did _have an idea of what was chasing her and she didn't want to acknowledge it.

_Reality…_

… is what had been chasing her.

When the golden sun rose over Beijing the Saturday after, men and women alike rushed out onto the streets to grab their morning meals then rush to work. Xianghua had to bring in the banners she had written for a nearby university, so she would soon be one with the work crowd. But the calligraphy artist first had to attend to her primary job as a mother, as the childishly playful woman tip toed into her son's room. The ripped young man lied topless in bed; face down, practically a corpse. His arm supported the pillow he smothered his face in.

"Xiba!" she called in a sprightly voice, she rapidly shook his shoulder, "Wakey wakey!" Surprised by the unanticipated wake-up call, his head jerked up with a loud yelp.

Xianghua laughed as Xiba turned his body around and sat up, "Don't do that, it's Saturday morning." He wiped the sleep dust from the corners of his eyes.

"Well, at least _you _can go back to sleep!" she teased, "I have to go to Peking University to deliver the banners… I hope they all came out correct…" she wondered about the folded papers with the Chinese traditional pinyin gracefully painted on. The teenaged man smiled.

"I'm sure they turned out great." There was a silence between the two, his mother smiling subtly, staring at him with her fawn eyes. Xiba felt uncomfortable, "What's wrong?"

Xianghua ruffled his messy red-hair, "Nothing… Just now I guess I…" she exhaled, observing his facial features carefully once more, "You're growing up to be such a handsome young man." She gushed… unable to admit that for a moment his eyes reminded her of Kilik's. They both had gentle, almond shaped brown eyes.

"Well that's… nice." He awkwardly replied with a side smirk. He even had on a jaded pendant that Kilik had given him when he was young. He usually hid it underneath the white collared-shirt of his uniform whenever he felt like wearing it to school. Xianghua shook her head; the woman's smile now seemed forced.

"Alrighty then, I'm off now. Please don't forget to eat some breakfast while I'm gone!" she turned and prepared to close the door behind her, she was sure her teenage boy wanted to go back to sleep.

"By the way, I'm going out this afternoon." He called, standing up to make his bed. Just as the door's lock was about to click, it froze. The woman holding the knob stepped back in with a bewildered expression; the same face she bore when she discovered she was pregnant. Xiba sheepishly chuckled as he scratched the back of his head.

"You're going out?"

How long had it been since she heard those words?

"Yeah… a friend named Natsu asked me to hang out… we're probably just gonna get some lunch or something." He admitted, not exactly having 'planned' anything official yet.

"Xiba, that's wonderful!" she clasped her hands together, thankful that she wouldn't have to worry about him lying in bed upset that day, "And who did you say it was?"

"Natsu, she's new. She came here from Japa-"

"_She_ eh?" Xianghua smirked, raising a brow. Xiba was befuddled as she scratched her chin. She'd found another opportunity to tease her son. But unabashed, he sighed.

"Mom, it's not like that."

"I know!" She giggled, "Just kidding with ya!" she flexed her fingers to prove her joking nature, "Well, have fun then, and text me so I know where you're going and when you're on your way back." The mother reminded.

"Don't worry, I will." He smiled. Finally, Xianghua was able to close the door behind her and leave with a shopping bag that had her banners neatly folded. After Xiba watched her pull out the driveway from his window and head out the subdivision, he saw again, the house across the street. He took a closer look at the sign.

_出租_

_For Rent_

Nodding his head approvingly, Xiba shut his blinds and went to clean himself up.

X-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-X

The Japanese blonde agreed that it'd be easier for the two just to meet outside the Kuntai Shopping Mall and walk around for a bit. Xiba would be taking the bus and Taki would be driving Natsu and dropping her off. They stopped in front of an outlet shop along the road, "Do you see him?" Her godmother asked.

"No not yet…" she eagerly looked around for a bus stop. Taki tapped her fingers on the steering wheel, sighing.

"You guys _are _just walking around, right?"

"Yes, mother." She responded honestly, accidentally addressing her the wrong way. They both had matching ponytails, albeit Taki's brunette hair color. The Japanese woman sighed just as Natsu caught her error.

"I know you've grown attached to me ever since your mother died, but you've gotta stop calling me that." She begged, the topic made her feel uncomfortable, especially with how close to Natsu's mother Taki was.

"I know… I'm sorry Taki." She blushed.

"Don't be sorry," she checked her nails, trying to avoid focusing on the 17 year old girl, "I guess it's just…" Leaning back in her seat, the woman sighed through her nostrils and gave in. She looked at the emerald eyed adolescent before her… still so cheerful and innocent despite of what she'd been through. Taki put a hand on her shoulder, bare form the tank-top Natsu was wearing, "Your mom was my best friend… and I loved her very much. When she gave birth to you, we were both bawling… and of course you too but that's normal for a newborn baby."

The two chuckled at the wisecracking woman's sense of humor. Taki then looked out the window, "Then when I moved to China to study… when I got that call… it still hasn't healed. But when I found out you were alright… that helped a bit." Natsu loved how Taki was able to speak to her like a fellow adult, though she often lost sensibility for other's emotions at times.

"I should be grateful that you're taking care of me at this time." She went ahead and undid her seatbelt, her godmother folded her arms.

"I should be too! Neither one of us had heard anything from Japan yet." She then reminded Natsu of the tense situation she'd put both of them in. Looking out the window for just a moment, she saw a few people exit the bus, one of which was the cute young man she'd been waiting for.

"That's him!" she leapt up, opening the door.

"Huh? Where?" Natsu pointed him out before exiting the car, "Oh… he's cute, Natsu!" She elbowed her with a wink, "Call me when to come get you, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah!" She hastily stepped out, "Got it!" She slammed the door before she finished her own sentence. Xiba was composing a message on his small phone before he saw a familiar blonde in front of him.

"Oh hey." He greeted kindly, "I was just about to text you." He shut his phone, cancelling the virtual letter. She was smiling widely with a feint blush. Overjoyed that they were together… in the middle of a crowded outdoor shopping center, but together.

"Well, I'm here!" was all her silly, infatuated mind could make come out of her mouth. After scanning each other with awkward grins, Xiba nodded.

"Heh," he pointed out, "I gotta say you look different without your uniform." She had on a modest tank-top with a design consisting of silhouetted black birds. She wore mid-thigh length shorts with it. Xiba then remembered how it was overcast and windy that day, "You're not cold?" he was wearing a jacket with some long jeans.

"Nah…" her _stupid_ mind proposed more nonsense, "I normally dressed like this when it was fall in Japan; I always liked the cold weather." Xiba snorted.

"Well, as long as you're okay… so whatcha wanna do?" The tawny-haired girl then realized she hadn't thought of that; she _was _the one who invited him after all. She twirled at her loose bangs.

"Oh um… just talk… walk around. I wanted to get to know you better… I guess." Her voice slowly trailed off to where the red-haired boy couldn't hear her anymore. But he accepted it.

"Okay." He shrugged, not too used to this himself. He couldn't judge her harshly; the young man was just as awkward as his classmate before him. The two talked about boring things at first, what it was like at school, what they were good at, what they weren't (even though Xiba was aware of Natsu's struggle in math). Nothing personal had come out… yet.

"God, we have that Trigonometry test on Wednesday!" Natsu frowned, fiddling with the lemonade she'd purchased, "I'm really nervous! Every time they hand me the test sheet, I blank out!"

Xiba hated testing anxiety… it was the least of his anxieties typically though, "If you want me to tutor you this week before hand, I can do that!" Natsu was then reminded how she even got the chance to speak to this charming adolescent.

"Oh yeah… you're actually smart unlike me." She forced a smile, genuine about what she had just said. Xiba raised a brow and gave her a stern look just as he would with Leixia.

"That's not true; you just have a hard time with math!" they sat down at a small round table in front of each other. Natsu set down her large drink.

"It's not just math…" she admitted, "I've never been the straight A student my dad wanted me to be… I'm only a B or C student." The young man didn't want to watch her beat herself up like this… he already saw so much of his sister in her. He scowled.

"Well, I'm terrible at Traditional Chinese!" she lifted her head, "Granted, I push myself to get As and Bs, but this class, I _really _have to push it!" Natsu's eyes widened with interest. He continued to elaborate, "It's like, I spent my whole life learning the simplified Chinese pinyin system, then I move up to traditional and I look at the paper going 'what IS this?!'" he mimicked himself the first time he saw his name written in a completely different lettering he'd never seen before. Natsu laughed, seeing his point.

"I guess it's the same with me and math I mean," She gently pulled her ponytail over her shoulder, "Who thought of a math based off of _triangles_?" the two shrugged.

"Adults who want to make it harder to get into college." He joked, Natsu grinned.

"Or adults who just hate kids."

…

Xiba's expression quickly morphed to disapproval, just as Natsu was looking at the concrete floors dazed out. When she looked back up at her friend, her stomach dropped, "Wh-what's wrong?" She'd already ruined their relationship that didn't exist yet! "Did I say something?"

He shook his head, snapping out of it, "No! I just spaced out for a sec." he lied. Relieved, Natsu leaned back in her chair, "Anyways, I really am glad you invited me out here." Heat creeped into Natsu's cheeks as she was sure he could see the red.

"You are?" it was meant to be her fogged brain cried out. But her good sense reminded her he probably meant something else by it.

"Yeah…" he rested his arms on the table, "My mom's been worried about me; I don't really go out much, and I spend a lot of time in bed… she thinks I'm getting depressed."

Natsu crossed her arms, "Huh, that's sad." She pursed her lips, "What about your dad? Doesn't he try to take you out places?" Xiba could laugh hysterically at that… but he hadn't told her yet. He smiled nervously.

"Oh um… my parents are separated." He scratched his head awkwardly. Natsu, too dumbfounded for words only stared, lowering her folded arms, "It's not that bad… it happened years ago. My dad lives in Shanghai and I visit him once a month." The blonde then thought back to a few days ago… that other person on his screensaver.

"Do you…" she didn't want to pry, but she was curious, "Do you have any brothers or sisters?" She figured Xiba would've mentioned them by now, but he wasn't open that way. He was in fact caught off guard and jumped back slightly.

"Yeah. I have a little sister." He pulled out his phone from his pocket and opened it, "She's a year younger than me, but two years below us in school." He went through the photos to see if he had a more recent one. Then Natsu had another question.

"How old are you?" despite his short-stature, she assumed him to be at least 18. He had no expression as he looked through his random, unorganized photos.

"I'm sixteen."

"No way!" she cried, "A sixteen year old senior?" she smiled, "I'm guessing you skipped a grade?" Xiba found one.

"Yeah." He pressed it to enlarge it, "I skipped the first grade, this is her." He passed her the phone, "She's fifteen." Natsu looked to see a pretty, brown-haired, brown-eyed girl looking silly in what appeared to be a kitchen within a living room.

"She's so pretty!" She gushed, "What's her name?" The Japanese senior handed back his phone.

"Leixia. She lives in Shanghai with our dad." Natsu was surprised that the siblings didn't travel together; that's how a friend she'd grown up with lived after their parents' divorce.

"Ah, I'm guessing sometimes she comes to see you and your mom?" she asked sprightly, but Xiba just didn't have the same attitude as her.

"No…" he admitted, and he couldn't explain why because there simply was no explanation. Kilik never gave them one. Befuddled once again, Natsu pouted, fiddling with her cup of lemonade and looking around nervously. He wasn't what she'd expected.

But then again, neither was she.


	11. Chance Encounter

"So Xiba, when's your birthday?" the two were sauntering towards the main entrance of Kuntai.

"April 20th."

Natsu tossed her empty cup into a trash bin along the way, "Ah, so you'll also be seventeen when you graduate; my birthday's in August and _I'm _usually the youngest." The blonde added.

"Nah, I'm probably the youngest in our entire graduating class. I have this one friend who's already 18, and his birthday's only four days before mine." Yun-Seong would be nineteen once the Beijing No. 55 Middle School and High School class of 2009 graduated. It was his transfer from South Korea to China when he was only a fourth grader that threw him off. Xiba thought that _only _being held back a year was impressive.

"Well, that's a bummer; at least your friends don't treat you any different." The girl smiled, the ripped young man then grinned slightly.

"Eh, to tell you the truth, I don't have that many friends, like I said, I'm not a very good people person…" Natsu raised a brow; Xiba seemed to be doing fine right now… "What I mean is, I have a few _key _friends… like you, then there's Yun-Seong who I've known for two years now, then Talim came along a year ago. She's a 10th grader." The blonde wasn't too social after her mother's death… she was in a dark place for a while… and her friends instead of sympathizing with her and sticking to her side, they all drifted away slowly…

Natsu thought she would never be able to smile again; her utopia that was her hometown became a living hell on earth's crust surface… then she came to China… she thought living with another female she loved for a while would made it easier to cope, easier to readjust than with her father…

What was her father doing now she thought? She didn't want to know… for while Natsu was in her dream-like state of numbness after the tragedy, her father descended into something far worse.

"Hey, Natsu!" the spiky haired teenager grabbed her arm and jerked her back from nearly stepping out on the road, "Careful!" a car flew past them just as Natsu was jolted back into reality. Oh god, what if he had been talking all this time and she wasn't paying attention. Did he think she was ignoring him? Even though she _was _unintentionally…. Xiba sighed with relief, letting go of his shockingly tight grip, "Jeez… were you spaced out or something?" he laughed nervously. She'd had a blank stare for the past fifteen seconds of their walk. Natsu, in a nervous habit, twirled her loose bangs.

"Oh um… yeah, my bad." She blushed and looked down with shame. There was a pitiful silence between them as one of them waited to say goodbye to one another for the weekend. Natsu hadn't even informed Taki to come pick her up yet! The Japanese teenager didn't want to awkwardly text in their silence however, "Um…" she mouthed, "Xiba, do you think that Monday you could tutor me for the test? I want to make sure I know it before we do the in-class review."

For Natsu, it was another opportunity to possibly get another walk home, while for the young man, a chance to go home and have less time to waste. He nodded, "Okay, that's fine." Xiba smiled modestly as the girl dumbly continued to blush and grin. There was another awkward exchange of eye contact before someone finally said something. At the same time they proposed that they get home, only for them to attempt to apologize for talking over each other… and apologize again over each other's apology. When would it end? Xiba had asked if he should wait with Natsu until her godmother arrived, but she insisted that she 'was a big girl' and would be okay. The bus ride home was awfully crowded and noisy, but the red-haired 16 year old expected nothing less from Beijing.

He'd tried to call Xianghua but the line rang and rang and no answer. Was she still at the University? Couldn't be… he was out for quite a few hours. It would nearly be dinner time once he walked home from the nearest stop. The front door was left unlocked, meaning she _had _to be there! The garage door was shut, so he had no way of telling otherwise, "Mom?" he called into his home. He saw the same shopping bag she'd used to carry her self-designed banners that morning, now empty.

When the bags were empty, it was good news; he'd learned that over the years. He could then see his mother with her back turned in her office. With a smile, the son went to congratulate Xianghua on her hardest work yet, "Hey mom," he got where he could see her face, "I…" her face we covered, pressing her fingers against her temples to hold her head up. The woman who had been so bubbly that morning was now struggling to control her delirium. The mother didn't respond to her son's presence; it was as if she didn't realize he was there.

"Mom?"

Xiba gently held her shoulder, reacting slowly in a reserved manner. Xianghua's eyes were glassy, but thankfully dry… for now. She gave him a smile to satisfy and ease him, "Hey Xiba." She was holding something on her lap… "Did you have fun?" he saw clasped in her delicate hand a doll. A small, plush doll that had a giddy smile with pink cheeks and closed eyes. Its black hair was decorated with flowers and it wore a silky red dress. It looked like it hadn't been touched in years. He immediately recognized the doll, for his eye twitched but once,

_He took my dolly!_

"Mom…" he felt breathless, "Where did you find that?"

Guilty, Xianghua held it tighter as she looked at her lap, "It was in the backseat of the car." The dreary woman admitted, "I went to get the bag with my stuff in it… and I saw it underneath the seats…" there was a brief pause of guilt and despair, but Xianghua could hear the rapid beat of her son's heart. His breaths were quickening. Opening her eyes wider and snapping out of her daze, she looked at the boy, "Xiba?" she mumbled worriedly.

Xiba was panting slowly, but it was steadily increasing in speed. He was beginning to hyperventilate; on the verge of another-

"XIBA!" She leapt from her seat and dropped the plushie, she held him tightly and, unable to carry her ripped son's weight brought him to the ground where they could sit, "Slow breaths!" she cried, not wanting the same results of the last time this had happened. Now Xianghua knew what she had to do, "Slow breaths… deep breaths." She tried to keep calm herself, the gentle woman held her son's head against her neck. She dropped her cheek into his messy hair.

_In… out. _"I can't!" he breathed, _in… out. _"My heart's beating really fast!" the boy whimpered. He tried to breathe slowly, but it was no use.

"It's panic… just breathe slow."

They weren't called anxiety _attacks _for no reason… and the two knew that by now… at least they _should_.

The late night news on the television was audible from the bathroom even with the door shut and the bathtub water running. That's how close together every room in the apartment was. Leixia looked at her legs, now smooth and silky pale… one cut just below her knee-cap. It began to bleed out for about the fourth time before Leixia wiped it away with her index finger again.

She hadn't meant to, she didn't even feel the abrasion form when she slid the razor blade down her long legs. As long as a 4'10" young lady's legs can get anyway. Leixia knew if her father saw this, he'd worry… only for the sake of worrying and not her well-being. She had made a few… silly decisions during Middle School that cost her his trust for a while, but vowed to never commit to it since. The 15 year old girl sat on the edge of the tub naked and observing her new legs.

She couldn't help but glide her fingers up and down… smooth and silky from the lotion she had just applied. Leixia couldn't determine which was better; the feeling of rubbing her fingers across them, or her bed sheets caressing her flawless flesh. There were the occasional stubborn hairs that Leixia would lose her temper and give up before she accidentally sliced her skin open in the heat of battle. Before she could move onto her shower and bathe the rest of her body, the Chinese girl looked in the mirror.

Her glossy, whispering brown hair was let down as it wiped and trickled her mid-back. Her bangs hung low but weren't long enough to cover her eyes. Leixia thought of Xianghua and how her entire life she had kept her hair short. Not once had the girl seen her mother's hair past her chin. Curiously, she swung her legs out of the humid, running water and stood on the bathmat. She bunched her hair together and held it back behind her head.

If it weren't for her face being more oval shaped than her mother's heart-shaped, she would look perfect with short hair. Long hair suited her she guessed… at least whenever she got it cut, the oriental ornament was never outspoken enough to exclaim that she wanted all of it off, not 'just a trim'. That didn't matter… for Xianghua would never get to _see _her daughter's short hair anyway. Not for a while that is.

Leixia only had short hair twice in her life; as it was just growing out from infancy, and when she was seven. She had a bob cut with a fringe. Never had the girl cut her hair that short to expose her face again.

No… don't think about that she reminded herself before she had a meltdown in her own home. 'Think about the stressful week already ahead of you!' At least that's what she'd, sadly, rather worry about than what was about to pop into the fragile teenager's mind.

X-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-X

That Monday after was a breeze, for the end of the week brought the sibling's next reunion. Xiba typically didn't gain his high-spirits until about Thursday however; he hadn't much to be enthusiastic about just then. Currently, he was keeping his promise to the blonde Japanese girl and studying with her in the library. The adolescent was pointing out the instructions to his surprisingly drowsy and unnaturally spacey friend. Something wasn't right… but Xiba liked his personal issues left alone, and therefore didn't ask.

He spouted out the Trigonometric lesson, "When the function has an exponent, we can either figure out the answer by finding the square root or factoring." He sat across from her, but had the paper tilted to she could see what he was writing, "Because none of these have a greatest common factor, we have to…" he heard an anguished sigh and watched Natsu lower her head into her folded arms. Was she discouraged?

"Don't beat yourself up about it if you're not understanding it; it's pretty complicated." He tried to cheer the math-challenged 17 year old, but she lifted her head. Her green eyes were covered by her tawny bangs. A frown was traced across her peachy lips.

"I'm sorry… it's not just the math… but now I'm stressed about _all _of my classes. My god mom doesn't have time to help me with my homework… and there's no one else who can tutor me at a time that works for me." Xiba grimaced, he opened his mouth to speak but the girl wasn't finished, "I know you want to help, and you are really, but you have your own classes to deal with." Natsu _hated _whiners with all her passion; specifically the ones who vaguely hint that something is wrong to seek other's attention and never tell… but this time, the girl desperately needed a break.

"Well, if you want, I can see if Yun-Seong or Talim can help ya out; they're good students." He recommended, trying to lighten the mood. Natsu smiled at the charming, sweet boy's offer.

"No, it's fine. I just had to vent for a second." She bashfully said. Xiba chuckled.

"Well, vent all ya want!" the easy-going young man leaned back in his chair. The girl became livelier and fixed her posture.

"Heh, sorry…" she scratched her head, "But really," her cheeks were pink like her shiny hair clip, "You've actually helped me improve these past few days and I want to return a favor if I can." The spiky haired student raised a brow, fixing the sleeve of his school jacket.

"Really?" It was just math tutoring…

"Well yeah; I if there's anything school related I can help you with, let me know!"

Xiba, with his copper eyes, stared for a moment… could he truly open up to this girl? He'd be able to see his sister and discuss everything that had happened the past month with her but… Natsu was a chance of not being judged or being misinterpreted… maybe he just had to give it a try.

"Actually," he coughed, uncomfortable, "There is s-something…" he fumbled with his hands. The girl, cheerful as ever nodded, "It's not school though it's um…" he began to stammer in his tension, "Uh… home… stuff." Natsu's brows formed a sad expression.

"Aw… what's going on?" she leaned against the table, showing she was interested.

"It's nothing serious I just…" Xiba looked up into her emerald eyes… suddenly brighter and more trustworthy than a second ago… they were green with concern and sincerity… for once, someone was listening.

"I had an anxiety attack over the weekend." Without a response from his companion, he continued, "It… it was something that happened a while back that triggered it… they happen often but this one was different…" Natsu folded her hands like a psychiatrist would.

"How so?"

Xiba bashfully looked away with sadness, "Usually I just start hyperventilating and my heart beats faster than I can keep up with." He took a large breath, praying talking about it wouldn't stir his two days of peace, "But this time… It just felt different…" he tried to find a way of explaining it, "This time I _knew _where the anxiety was coming from, but I chose to let the memory play through than blank it out before I can go any deeper."

Natsu scowled, disappointed with herself and how useless she was, "Xiba… I'm sorry." She whispered, "What do you normally do when that happens?" he looked everywhere but the girl's eyes… this was difficult enough without the human contact.

"I try to take deep breaths… sometimes I drink water or just lay down." Xiba thought about the medication and how it was supposed to_ help _him. He inhaled and exhaled deeply, worrying his friend. But he shook his head to reassure her, "It's better it happens at home than anywhere else… people drive me crazy." He admitted. But the adolescent didn't want to go into that; he stopped. Natsu thought of an idea.

"Do you know where the stress might be coming from?" maybe if they could pin point the problem and fix it, the chained reaction of panic would halt itself.

"No but… I know I haven't been sleeping well recently." The saddened boy came clean, "I get these nightmares that… are just so disturbing I don't want to fall back asleep."

"It's normal to have nightmares Xiba, everyone has them." She tried to soothe the boy, "Once you wake up it's over." Natsu comforted her crush. She knew how he felt; alienated, confused, and hurt, "What do you dream about?"

With a heavy scowl and narrow eyes, he glanced off, unable to look at her or answer. He could talk about the one of the teeth falling out into his palm, or the one he'd had a few months prior where he dreamt his mother was diagnosed with terminal bone cancer. Xiba could even talk about his most recent one only a few nights ago… but he wouldn't. Not yet… she wouldn't understand. Natsu was persistent, and eased him, "I have a recurring nightmare," she began, "I'll be sleeping in the backseats of a car… it's one of those small cars that have three seats in the back so you could lie down." She'd been having this dream for the past year, "The car will be driving really fast through Tokyo, and I'll sit up only to see that… there's no one actually driving it."

Xiba winced and looked at her curiously, urging her to finish, "I panic and… by the time I try to grab the wheel the car's just impacted and as I can just…" she balled her hand shut, "_Feel _myself dying and then I wake up." The young man gazed at her with such wonder and empathy of how easily she could open up to him. Now he had to ask…

"Were you… ever in a car wreck, Natsu?" with the nature of dreams, it was only a possibility; dreams were almost always experiences no one had genuinely had.

"Yeah… I was actually." She scratched behind her head, "A really bad one too." The two couldn't take this anymore and they both froze. The new friends, completely forgetting the reason of staying after school that day, now had ideas of who they really were.


	12. Breaking

**Souls_&_Swords: WARNING: Contains offensive language.**

Leixia was alone on the streets of Shanghai; sitting in an alley way, she was cold and alone. Rocking back and forth hugging her knees and weeping painfully. Her braids had fallen loose and tangled, making the girl appear even more manic. No one walking by noticed her, for even the neon multi-colored lights of Shanghai could illuminate her sorrows. Leixia didn't even care if a prowler was stalking her from behind a fire escape. She didn't care if he robbed her… or murdered her.

She had nothing to give him but her life which she would be fine with right now. She was sitting in the crusty moist floors that had yet to evaporate the polluted rain from earlier that night. Leixia was still wearing her school uniform, which was a navy blue sailor blouse with a red, looped ribbon and a knee-length skirt (or for Leixia it was knee-length; that's just how short she was) and knee-high socks with Mary Jane dress shoes… the perfect thing to be wearing in her despair… not.

Leixia squinted her red and teary eyes… what had she done? Out of all ways to end a fight… she resorted to _this_? The young woman hadn't meant to… but she snapped; she lost her temper right in front of her father, whom was barely on the brink of sanity it seemed when she arrived home that afternoon from school. Kilik was slouched over the kitchen counter; he'd tried to stand up straight, but his legs were wobbly and he nearly toppled over. He had drank for the first time in ages.

Never did the man drink himself silly… but once he was tipsy, there was no prediction of what he would do or say. Nervous, the 15 year old girl sat her bag down, "Dad…?" she asked, voice raw, "You feel alright?" she pressed her palm onto his shoulder and tried to turn him around, but he smacked her hand away. Flinching from the sudden flash of pain, she clenched her own fist.

"Dad!" the bewildered student demanded, "What's wrong with you?!" she shook her hand. Kilik knew what he had done was wrong… but he was stressed; he received request appraisals by the boatload and with barely enough money to keep breakfast goods in the pantry, he accepted as much work possible. But the proud man couldn't admit his mistakes; he had a filthy habit of blaming his troubles on others… he had been alone for the past few hours but now someone to blame was before him.

"I don't need any discipline from my teenage daughter!" the dizzy father heaved himself around, no longer needing the counter for support; for now anyway. Leixia growled, gritting her teeth. She fiercely glared into his bloodshot eyes.

"You're drunk, _aren't_ you?" she'd only seen her father drunk twice in her life; once when she was fourteen, and exactly one year later _now_.

"Not yet…" he rubbed his head with resentment, "You're lucky I'm not either; or else I'd be giving you a taste of your own disrespectful tongue!" Leixia folded her arms.

"You promised you wouldn't drink again!" she shouted, "I can't believe you'd do this!"

"Who am I hurting anyway?" he slumped over once more, nearly whining in his tone. Leixia raised a suspicious brow, "It's not like you _care _about me or something!" he chuckled, "Funny that! My own daughter doesn't give a rat's ass about me and she calls _me _the bad guy!" Leixia snarled like a dog.

"Cut it out!" she childishly stamped her foot, "I never said that! Now you need to get it under control!" She pointed a finger, having switched places with her authority figure. But she lacked the physical strength to carry him into his bedroom, let alone drag him by the hand. While the girl refused to show it, she was frightened. What if he suddenly turned violent? Despite all the tension they'd been through, not once had Kilik struck Leixia, nor would he ever. Her heart pounded into her breast as she tried to keep the adrenaline in her veins under control.

"Tff…" he scoffed, "My fifteen year old daughter trying to slave me, that's amusing." He was no longer making sense, Leixia was about to give up, "You're lucky I don't tell you exactly what I think of you!" his heart and mind were both drowned in stress, grief, and alcohol. Leixia challenged her father, she balled her hands into fists and stood erect.

"What's stopping you?!"

"The fact that I have to deal with you every _fucking _day!" he cried, "EVERY DAMN DAY IT'S YOU! YOU AND THAT FACE… Always pitiful and sad! I TRY SO DAMN HARD TO WORK AND KEEP THIS ROOF OVER OUR HEADS!" Leixia sombered up a little as the man had hardly begun, "You damn… you're just like your mother!" he clawed into the marble counter as his daughter's eyes widened, "THAT UNGRATEFUL BITCH! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT FROM ME TO MAKE YOU HAPPY?!" Leixia felt salty tears drip down her cheeks as she poorly attempted to remain stiff, "WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?"

Without hesitating, she answered with the same amount of hatred in her tone, "MY BROTHER!"

_Pant… pant…_

No real words were said between them for a while, Leixia struggled to get her mind and breath together. Kilik, wide-eyed looked at her menacingly. How dare she defy him like that to get involved with… _her _side of the family?

"What did you say?"

"I have an answer!" she proclaimed, "I want my brother!" she held herself tightly and lowered her head, "He listens to me… he takes care of me!"

"Xiba's just a scapegoat in this family!" Leixia jerked her head back up.

"How DARE YOU!" she roared, spiritually defending her big brother whom in no way could be aware that this was happening, "HOW DARE YOU SUGGEST THAT HE'S THE CAUSE OF OUR PAIN!"

"HE'S THE REASON YOUR MOTHER ENDED UP THE BITCH SHE IS TODAY!" he bellowed, "He has no other place in the world than causing us trouble!"

"What kind of _**bastard **_talks about their son that way?!"

"The bastard who raised another BITCH!"

Tears that were already trailing down steadily were now rushing like waterfalls out of her sockets. Instead of blitzing into the bathroom, she kept going and out the door. Kilik's slow mind had to process for a moment what had just happened, "My daughter just ran out the fucking… LEIXIA!" the now bewildered parent screamed but she kept going. Leixia ran down the busy streets with a heavily flustered expression. She was so quick that no one could see her pained expression.

Kilik, unable to maintain his balance for much longer, ran out the front of the apartment complex, "Leixia!" He screamed into the crowds, praying that she was sensible enough to turn around. But alas, she ran into the ladies room of the nearest convenient store and hid… as if he were after her, which she doubted. He probably _wanted _her to run away! Not even glancing at the mirror to see how disturbed she looked, Leixia paced around the square, public restroom with her head in her hands… formulating many failed attempts to comprehend everything that had just occurred.

She had to leave the room sometime however… When she finally did, Leixia hadn't the courage to go home and she walked. The young lady walked, then walked more, then walked even more until she came to the alley way she was easing herself in now.

"Why didn't I just go to the bathroom like I always do?" she asked herself now on that cold, damp night. She would be in her pajamas right now with wiped tears and a freshly bathed body… within a matter of hours would have the two forgotten their plight. But something in Leixia finally snapped… she wasn't sure why but it finally happened. She wanted to go home… but at the same time she didn't.

For the young lady… where _was _home?

Home was where someone was loved and nurtured… it was always a place they could go to and know they would be soothed of their troubles. Everyone had a home _somewhere_… but Leixia was hopeless. She pressed her face into her knees, causing her breasts to plush against her legs but she felt pressure against one of them.

She had her phone tucked into her bra still. Upon realizing the fact, she lazily sat up and took it out. It was a useless device with no signal and all of her numbers (only three) were blocked. But one thing was uncensored; the camera. The pretty Chinese girl flipped it open to the manual screensaver of the Shanghai Oriental Pear Tower. Leixia never bothered to change it; she had at most seven photos in store. One of which she'd taken of a close up shot of herself and Xiba…

Herself at home…

Leixia looked at it more closely; she remembered taking about five photos before finally getting one where both were in full shot. The sun was gleaming over them, revealing their matching, sparkling brown eyes. Leixia smiled toothless while Xiba was comfortable with his true, wide smile. Her heart felt heavy as she held the open phone against her soaked blouse. Her lips quivered as she held her breath painfully in her throat. She was home when she was with her brother, her companion, her best friend.

As if she truly held Xiba in her small hands, she wrapped her entire body around the small cellular device, "Xiba…" the rain began to escalate again, silhouetting hauntingly through the lights of Shanghai…

X-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-X

Xiba was immured under his warm comforters as the chilly autumn air was decreasing day by day. Winter was approaching. He lay fast asleep on his back with one hand open on the pillow, the other clenched to the blanket as if he'd fallen asleep while wrapping himself up. Xianghua stepped in quietly and proceeded to open the blinds. The moment the sun filtered into the room, Xiba winced and stirred from his deep rest.

"Rise and shine and up and at 'em!"

Inhaling deeply, trying to find the energy to move, Xiba rolled over, "How do you have so much energy in the mornings?" he closed his eyes, nearly drifting back to darkness.

"Because a new day, a new experience!" she sat down on his bed and shook his arm, "Up up up!" she rapidly exclaimed with a sickeningly happy tone. With a groan and a shake of his wild red hair, the boy gave in.

"Alright… just let me take a shower." As he sat up to go of his usual routine of rubbing his eyes and one foot at a time placing them on the ground to wobble to the bathroom, Xianghua bounced the bed a bit with her bottom.

"Don't forget Xiba… you know what today is!" she pointed a cheerful finger. It was too early for the young man's brain to function.

"Friday… Friday?" his spirits were lifted into the heavens, like a whale's breaching out of the sea, "It's already Friday?!" Xianghua figured she may as well be excited for her son considering how well things went last month.

"Yup, don't forget to pack your extra clothes and all that other good stuff!" she said, but in the blink of an eye, her reinvigorated son had leapt to the shower and sink to clean himself up. After brushing his teeth he skipped breakfast to change into his uniform and pack his clothes and other belongings. Xianghua leaned against the door frame with crossed legs, "Have fun this time! I'm sorry for being such a worry-bug last month." Xiba was then among her, more joyful than he had been for quite some time.

"Don't worry about it, I'll call you when I'm on the train!" he kissed her forehead, "Love you!" with that, he was gone. After all the stress he'd gone through recently, this was his reward for enduring it… and it was a blissful one indeed.

At least he expected.

Kilik sat in his office at his dark desktop, his hair covered his convulsed, exhausted face. Guilty… alone and guilty was what the man was.

He should have ran after her he thought, then she would've known he really _did _love her. But alas, he'd spent the last few days looking for her with no luck. Was it time to take matters to the Shanghai Police Department? Desperate for comfort, the normally content and responsible parent was urging to give himself up to his bibulous needs… but when he looked up, he saw the date on the calendar, a large red circle around the number.

Fuck… what would he do now?!

"Shit!" he scribbled the mouse to alert the screen and went to purchase the ticket, unaware it was already time for his son to be on the four hour long train ride at that moment. The sun was coming to the horizon as Xiba worked on his weekend homework to kill time. He didn't bother changing out of his uniform this time, as the restroom was occupied when he first got on, and by the time the person was finished, the young man was too comfortable in his seat to get up.

He had his hand leaned against his fist as he read a book written in Traditional Chinese for his Literature class. It was a struggle, but the 16 year old was finally beginning to memorize the different symbols. The teenager heard a conversation from across the aisle.

"You tired?" a male voice lovingly questioned, for when Xiba looked over, he saw a father with his young son resting his head on his lap. It was a man in his late 20s with large round glasses. He dotingly rubbed his child's head as he began to doze. The red-haired boy couldn't help but frown… had he ever had a relationship like that with his father?

At once he did… he kept one fond memory.

_Goodnight daddy!_

_ Goodnight kiddo. _The gentle father ruffled his son's messy hair as he lied in bed, _Sleep tight._ When he exited the room, leaving the door wide open, a squeaky voice called from the other bedroom.

_Goodnight daddy!_

_ Goodnight princess, _with a smile, the child watched his father step into the other room, _give me a kiss! _He called enthusiastically. After hearing a genuine smooch to the cheek, his memory was fogged after that. Shaking his head suddenly, Xiba went back to loosing himself in the tragically boring novel. All the while, Kilik paced back and forth from the refrigerator to the counter just mere inches away. He couldn't drink… his son was on his way… let alone, he _needed _a sober mind and pure heart to take his hand and guide him through these troubles.

But this was his son Xiba he was talking about… the cause of all these troubles, the one who tried to solve his own problems but only made his own family's issues worse. And now he was coming, and his 15 year old daughter was out there somewhere alone… he opened the fridge and on the shelf in the door, he grabbed the bottle by its neck. In time, the train stopped in central Shanghai and blew its horn. Xiba had to push past incoming passengers as he hurried to exit. More tired than he had anticipated, he looked out at the roundabout for his father's car, but it was nowhere in sight.

Running late maybe? Not a big deal. With nowhere to sit, he stood in place and began to compose a message to his mother that he had made it safely to the largest city in China. Leixia hadn't moved all day from her spot. She still sat, dirty, wet, and tired. The only active thing she had done was pace about the alley way back and forth, hoping someone would notice and come aid her. Maybe she could feign being an orphan and a new, better family could take her in. But those were crazy thoughts to bear. One thing was for sure though, the girl was starving.

Her stomach rumbled loudly, agitated with her as she clenched her empty abdomen. Leixia had no money, and with her current appearance, no way would someone let her into their store. So great was the young woman's concern in her trouble and hunger that she had forgotten about her brother's visit completely! She pulled at her ratty, partly-braided hair.

"Damn it…" she whispered, "What am I gonna do?"

"Pull that skirt up so I can see those sexy thighs." A brash, male voice broke her isolation and the frightened girl leaped to her feet and scampered backwards. But the moment she recognized the source of the voice, she grew irritated.

"Hwang Seong-Gyeong?" she bitterly exclaimed, her ex-boyfriend, who was now a delinquent probably scanned her up and down.

"Hm… not the best I've seen you… but I gotta admit," he inched closer and lifted her chin, "This new… dirty look does make you look more wild if you get what I mean." She shoved the sexual predator away, bemused.

"Get lost Hwang!" he must've been at a detention or something; he still had on his school attire, "I told you I never wanted to see you again!" she turned her back to him and pounded the dirt and grime off of her uniform.

"Huh, you sure?" the cocky Korean senior was persistent with his cute target, "Last time I checked, I sent you to the girl's bathroom crying." Sneering, Leixia ignored him and folded her arms. Hwang decided to give in and figure out what was up, "Seriously though, why are you out here letting yourself go like this?"

"It's none of your business!" She turned her head, "Like you care anyway!"

"Humph." He pouted, "Maybe I do, maybe I don't, but can't a guy return a favor?"

What did he just say? Was he trying to fool her again? What was this untrustworthy man up to? These questions swam through the girl's head, but her heart was too desperate to put them into action, "What do you mean?" she turned around.

"Well," he beat against his chest, "You helped me prove a point to my friends by pretending to be my girlfriend for a while… so therefore, why don't I be of assistance for whatever you're going through?"

"You've got to be kidding." Her suspicion knew no bounds; she huffed up and prepared for a fight.

"Don't be retarded." He slandered, "Now come on, what do ya need?"

A break…

Leixia loosened her posture and eyed him; was this really the young adult who'd broken her heart not too long ago? Ugh, this was infuriating… but she was hungry… and her mouth felt dry and her throat tasted awful, "There's a convenient store nearby; bring me something to eat and a toothbrush." She ordered clearly. Hwang snickered.

"Yes m'am. Won't be long." He turned and left. Leixia remained on guard… he wanted _something…_ but she would take what she needed and go back to her fierce, and choiceless independence. Her brother was oblivious of this plight, as he had just been forced to call a taxi to bring him to the apartment building. Xiba was appalled; no one called, no one arrived, and of course no one would answer when he tried calling both the house number and his father or sister's cell phones which both went straight to voicemail.

After practically shoving his payment through the slot and silently stepping out of the cab, the befuddled young man went inside and walked upstairs to the once beloved place that now drew suspicion, "Dad?" he pounded on the door once, "You home?" the door was open, for when he tried turning the knob it, surprisingly, clicked and creaked forward. Kilik had left it open in case Leixia decided to come home. But his oldest child entered instead, his only son. Xiba felt like he was walking into a crime scene, for at the end of the small complex, he saw Kilik on the floor with three bottles of alcoholic beverages around him.

One of which had been left half empty and, unwilling to get back to his feet, was spilt over. Xiba's eyes enlarged like an owl's, "Dad?!" dropping his heavy bag he darted over and got to his knees, "Dad! Are you okay?" he couldn't get his head to lift, but his father was conscious… then they made eye contact. For the first time in his life, Kilik was drunk.

Inebriated.

"You… son of a bitch." He spoke in a slurred, sinister growl as he reached for Xiba's neck, but the quick and strong young man backed away. His amber eyes full of confusion and panic.

"Dad, what the hell is wrong with you?" he yelped. Kilik, like a rising corpse slowly hobbled onto his feet, he stood like a Neanderthal, hunched over. He eyed his target prey.

"You're a life ruiner!" he exclaimed, but now Xiba had another thought in mind.

"Where's Leixia?" he demanded more assertive, but his father came towards him, aiming for his neck once more. He tried so hard to strangle him, but the ripped young man had trained for enough years to be able to hold someone back.

"You're NOTHING TO US!" he screeched as Xiba shoved him away, he stumbled backwards and nearly fell once again. Xiba was quickly panting for breath.

"Dad… what the fuck is going on?"

"GET OUT!" he roared into his poor son's heart, "YOU'RE THE CAUSE OF ALL OUR TROUBLES!" the man hadn't a clue what he was saying, "IT'S YOUR FAULT WE LIVE THIS WAY!" Xiba's stiff posture began to weaken… his heart began to crumple, "AND ON TOP OF ALL THAT, YOU CHOSE TO STAY WITH THAT CRAZY BITCH!" Xiba was then shocked, aghast and angry, he growled.

"Don't you dare talk about mother like that-!"

"NO ONE WANTS YOU HERE!" he yelled, pushing at him. Xiba's heart was too weak to fight back anymore… he could only imagine where his sister was… maybe at a school club just to avoid this madness, "I DON'T WANT YOU HERE, XIBA!" hearing his name in that voice was gut-wrenching as he shook with grief.

_dad… _he whimpered almost mutely.

**"OUT! GET OUT"**

Xiba shook his head… he kept nodding left and right in shock and grief as he backed away. Finally reaching the front door which had been left wide open, he picked up his heavy bag and looked at the drunken man one last time. He _had _to try… the red-haired teenager opened his mouth barely to speak, "You really want me to-"

"Don't make me say it _again_!" he snarled viciously.

Confused, hurt, and in agony, Xiba turned his head and with dry, stunned, wide, yet tearless eyes, he closed the door behind him.


	13. Seeping Into Darkness

Leixia had been given a bottle of water, a toothbrush with a small tube of cleansing paste, and for her "meal" that day, a bag of potato chips. After brushing her teeth and tongue clean of the awful taste of whatever she had eaten the day before was gone, and now her stomach, hesitantly, accepted the incoming sodium-filled treats. They weren't even the baked kind Leixia could devour and at least pretend it was healthy. Hwang had actually kept his word and returned with said necessities in less than 15 minutes.

The young lady was bewildered at first, but then overjoyed at the sight of the crinkly, plastic package of food. The Korean student still had his arms folded as he watched her consume the entire bag in less than a minute, leaning against the building, "You know it's getting late, shouldn't you run home to your mommy and daddy by now?" he was either mocking her age, her height, or both. But she didn't care; Leixia forced herself to be thankful for this gift.

"I'm never going back there!" she answered boldly, "My father's lost his mind, and I don't have anyone I can stay with…" she held the last chip, the salt sticking to her fingers, "I don't care if I have to wander the streets of Shanghai for the rest of my life, it's better than home." She ate it in one bite. One loud _crunch_ was the last of the poor snack treat. As she sucked the salt of her skinny fingers, Hwang observed her. Leixia the 'airhead' was a lot tougher than he'd judged. She'd put up with one, dirty and mucky school uniform, tangled hair that was getting greasy due to the lack of shampoo, and even nearly starving to death just not to go home.

"Tsh…" he scoffed, "Well you want me to buy ya a sleeping pack while you're at it?" though he was brash and occasionally flirtatious with every girl that caught his eye, Hwang had enough sense to not ask Leixia to spend the night… knowing her, she'd put up one hell of a fight. The sun was starting to go down; soon the lights of the Shanghai metropolis would be illuminating the streets again. Leixia then had an idea… the one sanctuary she had left. Though she hadn't been there in five years… it was still open and waiting for her to return. Leixia's eyes glowed with realization.

"Hwang, do you have your phone with you?" she still hadn't even thought that Xiba was probably at the apartment right now… but she was sure that even if he were there, their father wouldn't let him in. She needed to figure this out. Unfortunately, her plan was already foiled, as the senior student frowned.

"Humph, yeah right. Do you know how many of those I've thrown against walls?" he had quite the temper as well. Leixia sneered, crushing up the empty bag.

"Damn it!" the brunette then perked up again; pay phones! "Do you have any money?!" she hopped to her feet, but the older boy raised his hands.

"Whoa whoa… now you're asking for _my money_?" Leixia scowled, as if he had actually _worked _to get that money. She was positive that pick-pocketing wasn't work. The 15 year old balled her hands into fists.

"I need to call my brother!" she demanded angrily, but Hwang was befuddled.

"Wait a second, you have a brother?" never had he heard of another 'Yan' in the school. Of course Leixia took Kilik's surname Yan, while Xiba remained with his mother's 'Chai' due to the custody laws. But she had no time to explain her life story and the circumstances, she only repeated herself.

"Yes! And I _have _to talk to him!"

"Can't you use your phone?" Leixia was getting tired of arguing with her ex-boyfriend.

"My phone doesn't work!" She grabbed her hair, "Damn it!" her face was getting red from frustration. Hwang swiped his face, flustered himself; it was nearly dark and he'd spent half of his Friday afternoon in a back alley talking to his tenacious ex.

"Look, where does he live? Why can't you just go there?"

Oh god, here it came… the explanations. Letting go of her stringy, ratty hair, the young woman swallowed, "He lives in Beijing with-"

"Beijing! Holy shit! Do you know how far away that is?"

"Yes," she mocked, over exaggerating her voice and adding a lisp to show her irritation, "I know how far away that is hmm!" Leixia didn't give a shit at all how childish she just was. The Korean man rolled his eyes. Hwang Seong-Gyeong was not amused. Leixia was desperate, her frustration was becoming that of angry tears, "Please," she choked them back, "Just a few cents to call him and find a way to pay for a ticket to Beijing! I _can't _live like this anymore, Hwang!" while externally it appeared these two were born to hate each other's souls… at one point they cared about each other, at least they thought they did. Hwang had even stated aloud in front of his other douche bag friends that she was the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen. But he was still a cold-hearted jerk at the core, and only god knew what made him that way.

He snickered, maybe she was desperate enough to be of some… assistance to him, "How about this since you asked nicely and you're so damn delicious," Leixia was used to his bizarre terminologies for 'cute' or 'pretty', "We help you raise the money to buy your _own _ticket to Beijing!" Leixia's heart… too fragile and scared to resist nodded and was being reeled in.

"What do I have to do? Work? I don't care what it is! Even if it's a 24 hour job I'll-"

"My friend and I do more of a… secret business." He winked an eye. The girl had enough sense to back away or demand an appropriate answer, but she didn't. She was too weak to have standards at this point. Hwang then shook his head and waved an arm, gesturing her to follow him. Before stepping out into the neon Shanghai, she hesitated.

"Wait, where are-"

"First of all, you can't do a job looking like that!" he referred to her damp, grime covered school uniform and her unbrushed, unwashed wasp's nest of hair. Leixia was still reluctant… who knew what he would try to do to her in this state? She kept her guard up.

"I don't like this." She grimaced, but he was insistent.

"Come on!" He then gave her a logical statement, "Do you really think a guy like me would want to do something like that withthe way you like right now?" Leixia blinked. Hurtful? Yes. Reasonable? Barely… but she was determined to do what she had to do.

Even if it killed her.

…

The train from Shanghai to Beijing arrived at 8 P.M. that night and boy was it crowded. It was almost similar to a World War II train, the night transportation systems were always the busiest Friday nights. Xiba never would've guessed he'd ever have to be a part of the late night train crowd. Eyes still wide with shock, dark circles from the lack of releasing his tears outlined his almond-shaped sockets. He floated with the crowd out the train and down the road. He was just one street down from his high school. It was the second time he was seeing it that day… it looked odd at night for the dazed young man. Xiba's cell phone buzzed in his pocket, but he didn't feel it. Even if he had, he probably would've ignored it… now wasn't the time for him to speak, for words alone would cause his tear dam to break. On the other side listening to the line ring was Xianghua, who had her cell phone pressed against her ear.

"Hmm…" she pulled it away and hung up once again, "Why hasn't he called?" she thought aloud. The mother tried to focus back on her desktop as she was working on a printing ad, "Probably just busy with his sister." The woman shrugged and went back to typing Traditional Chinese on the word document. Xianghua wouldn't need to paint these, for this was for an online representation. As her fingers moved quickly along the small keys there was another noise among her typing. Her phone was vibrating.

**西壩**

**Xiba**

Smiling brightly, Xianghua pressed the answer button before the phone was even up to her ear, "Hello~!" she greeted in a passionately drawn out and cheerful voice.

"Mom…" a somber voice spoke. Her son who sounded like he'd just swallowed a knife. Caught off guard, Xianghua pouted a bit and sat up straight.

"Xiba? What's wrong?"

"… Could you come unlock the door?" the bitterly painful voice asked; it was so genuinely politely spoken that something in both the young man's mind and heart had to have snapped. Leaping to her feet, she'd nearly caused her office chair to roll backwards into the wall.

"What do you_ mean_ can I unlock the door?!"

Xiba's voice was shaky, "Can you unlock the door please?!" he begged. Keeping the phone pressed to her ear, she rushed out the office, turned the lock, and undid the chain on the front door. When she opened it, there was her teenage son on his cell-phone, skin pale and eyes hot and glassy, "Hey, mom…"

"XIBA?" she pressed the end call button and grabbed his shoulders forcefully, "What are you doing home?! You're supposed to be in Shanghai!"

"I _know~!_" the shaken young man nodded, taking in his breath, "Something wasn't right… with dad or Leixia." Xianghua put a hand on his chest; his heart was pounding rapidly. Sweat trickled down her forehead.

"Xiba," she grabbed his head gently, her fingers caressed in his spiky hair, "Did you-?"

"No mom, no." he swore, "I didn't lose it…" he almost did, but his mind had been too busy racing back and forth about what had happened to focus on his unsettling heart beat. He'd spent eight hours on a train that Friday afternoon, while other teenagers were out together or being lazy at home. Not poor Xiba, he was holding back his urge to pull his hair out.

"What happened?" Xiba shook his head and walked inside from the freezing night weather.

"I don't even know, mom!" Xiba sat down on the living room sofa. At Xianghua's home, the house the family once all lived in, they had a living room and a T.V. room near the kitchen. The living room was only used for adult chats when family came to visit if the kids weren't outside in the pool. Xianghua sat down next to him holding him tightly with one arm.

"There's gotta be a way to explain!" the worried mother affirmed, desperate to know what her son had just been through in the past eight to nine hours—absolute hell.

"Dad was drunk…"

"What?" Xianghua pulled away with wide, aghast eyes.

"And I don't know where Leixia was… I don't know if she was in her room or-" She then turned his face towards her, they looked into each other's brown, horrified eyes.

"Leixia's… missing?

"No!" he immediately denied, not wanting to think of such a thought himself, "She's smarter than that… and even if she wasn't there, she probably went to a friend's house or something!" at least that was what he told himself to reassure that his little sister was alright. Xianghua trusted her son, as well as her estranged daughter… hopefully the 10 years she'd given her had helped her gain sense.

"Okay…" she put a hand over her own heart, beating like a drum. Xiba couldn't cry, not in front of his mother… he didn't want to stress her out even more… especially now when he had to comfort her. He forced himself to forget the day's stress, for now.

"At least I'm home with you this weekend…" he rubbed her back, trying to ease her fragile and pained heart. The solemn mother mustered a grin. She did have her cherished son at her side at least… he'd protect her like he always did.

"That's good…" she wiped her eyes quickly before the tears could roll out. She stood up and walked towards the home phone, "I didn't cook anything because I thought you'd be out." she went to the saved numbers where they'd order in occasionally.

"Mom, it's fine." The red-haired boy stood up, his body's shaky steps finally ceased, "I'm not that hungry." His curious mother eyed him, "I'm really tired from the travelling… I'm just gonna go lay down." Slowly passing her to enter his dark room, she grabbed his arm.

"Wait." She turned him around and embraced her son tightly. She knew that he'd needed it the past four hours of his heart-breaking train ride. She buried her face into his shoulder, standing on her toes slightly; he was five inches taller than her. Xiba wrapped his arms around her but nowhere near as tightly as this serpent's embrace, "Tomorrow morning, I'm gonna let your father have it!" she growled.

"Mom-"

"No! I mean it!" she pulled away angrily, but Xiba had been through enough for the weekend.

"Please don't, you two haven't spoken in the past two years I've been going back and forth!" Xianghua pinched her forehead, flustered by everything that had happened in the past five minutes for her, "Plus, what if he's drunk again? He could say some really hurtful things to you!" Xianghua was now fierce.

"_What did he say to you?_" she hissed. Her body was shaking with anger and adrenaline. Xiba could see the anger in her eyes and grabbed her narrow shoulders.

"Mom, please!" he forced her to look into his copper eyes, _begging _her to let it go. Still breathing heavily like an enraged Rottweiler, or a Grizzly bear, Xianghua pursed her lips tightly; the next thing that came out of her mouth was no doubted a _fuck! Shit! Bastard! _Xiba had to change the subject, get her mind off of how much she hated Kilik… he rubbed his arm out of guilt, "I forgot to tell you mom… I ran out of pills."

That did it, like he'd cast a magic spell, she snapped out of her fury and turned into that of surprise, "What? When?"

"Tonight, I took the last one on the train." He admitted. Zoloft wasn't the type of medicine one could withdraw from suddenly… it led to disastrous results…

"Oh…" she sighed, "Okay," the lava in her chest cooled, "Where's the bottle? I'll call the pharmacy to refill the prescription tomorrow." Without letting Xiba answer, she went to his heavy bag with now an unneeded pack of clothes. She found the bottle that normally had oval, thin yellow tablets and all of her son's information on it. Afterwards, Xiba lied down in his room in utter darkness and his door shut.

Sleep wouldn't come to him; not after what his father had told him… not after anything that had happened at all recently.

_Xiba? Did you see where your sister went?_

The eight year old refused to answer… he had no choice. Quickly shutting his eyes tightly and pressing his hands onto his ears, the adolescent wiped out the memory before it could go any farther into despair.


	14. Arrangements

Leixia entered the Hwang household where another man awaited them. His name was Li Long, he graduated a year ago. Upon seeing that –I've-seen-him-somewhere-before face did the young lady raise a brow. Maybe she saw him when he was an upper classmen in middle school? She had a good memory for faces. Hwang fell back on the couch, leading the mucky Leixia into the shabby home.

"Where are you parents?" adult supervision would help ease the awkwardness… but the Korean young man laughed.

"Pfft, my dad's out of town and my mom works late… figures I could help them out with the bills so we started our own business." He winked at Li Long who was analyzing the young lady he'd literally brought in off the streets, "Oh, Li Long, this is my old girlfriend Leixia."

"Ha!" he bellowed, "You dated a 10th grader?" he recognized it by the pin on her scholar jacket. Every year in Shanghai High it was a different color; gold for 10th grade, silver for 11th, and black for 12th.

"I'm not in the mood!" Leixia mumbled pounding and wiping at her skirt, already not fond of his attitude. He raised his hands as if he'd been pulled over.

"Jeez, relax." The graduate had long hair that reached his shoulders; he leapt up, "So what's she doing here? Gonna spend the night?" he winked.

"Ugh!"

"No no," Hwang chuckled, "She needs money…" he then eyed her runaway look once again, "And a shower, but mostly money." Leixia's face reddened with annoyance, "She's gotta catch a train to Beijing."

"The capital, huh?" Li Long crossed his arms, "Fancy…" he playfully added. But there was one thing the young woman didn't understand.

"Why can't you just let me use a phone to call my brother-?"

"I told you; we could use some extra help in our work." The Korean senior demanded, now standing dominant over her. Leixia realized she just put not only her pride at risk… but her body, underneath the authority of two older boys… what had she been thinking?! "The shower's free if you need it." He pointed down the hall, "There's a lock on the door, don't wig out." or maybe, in his own disrespectful way, he truly had recruited her for some help at 'work' wherever that was. She nodded and stepped aside.

Oh what bliss was the hot water to her grime covered skin, the shampoo soaking the near literal crap from her hair and conditioner to soften it back up. She'd brought the toothpaste and brush Hwang had given her, so at least she had that as well. There wasn't much she could do about her uniform, Hwang and his family had to go to a public laundry mat for their clothes; Leixia plugged up the bathroom sink and soaked her white collared-shirt, her navy blue jacket and skirt, leaving her knee-highs stuck in her loafers. They had been soaking while Leixia bathed, then once she dried her body, she hung up her uniform on the shower door to dry. It dripped on the floor, urging the 15 year old to slide the matt underneath them. There was a pounding at the door, "Hey, you done?" It was her ex-boyfriend's voice again.

"Not yet, I'm waiting for my clothes to dry."

"Well, I'm leaving some of my mom's old clothes here for you to sleep in!"

What?

Was that really Hwang saying that? Actually giving her hospitality? Leixia turned the lock and cracked the door open; and to her own surprise, there it was; a small worn-out jersey shirt with some long sweat pants for the winter. Leixia hoped they weren't the kind that would hug her bottoms together. Putting them on she went to step outside when she heard a low, female voice, "Hwang, is that Li Long?" Leixia quickly stepped back into the bathroom, holding the door close.

"Yeah, he just came to chill tonight." Leixia only caught a glimpse of the back of her head, trying to remain hidden.

"Alright, try not to make too much noise, I'm exhausted." She sounded too friendly to be her ex-boyfriend's mother, "Man, I need a nice hot bath!" Oh no! Now what? Maybe she was quick enough to blitz out into another room? But what about her uniform that was drying on the shower door?  
"Oh actually, the water heater's messed up again…" Hwang scratched the back of his head, trying to keep Leixia's and his own cover from being blown. A disappointed sigh was released.

"Really? Damn… guess I'll just make some tea… you guys want anything?" Li Long immediately jumped at the delicious elixir.

"Yeah! Got any yerba mate black tea?"

Leixia slowly crept back into the washroom, gently turning the knob so nothing clicked when she shut the door. Guess she'd be lounging in her own personal steam room for a little bit. She then began to look at her situation from a more sensible perspective… why didn't she scrounge around the city for some spare change or something to use a payphone? Surely enough there was plenty of Yuan around in Shanghai especially. Hell, the teenager would have even resorted to begging with the way she looked. China was socialist after all… oh god, how she felt in her heart she'd be regretting this decision… whatever this 'work' for getting an easy ticket to Beijing would be, she begged with every ounce of her body that it would be taking Hwang's shift at a coffee shop or something. What was her father doing right then she wondered… what was her brother doing…?

The Saturday morning after brought a cloudy grey day, snow was a possibility on the forecast as students were on their knees praying for a snow or smog day. It was only winter's beginning, so they weren't counting on it just then… but even if it were a snow day, despite the cancelation of class, they would be trapped in their houses bundling up, too cold to do anything adventurous. For the Chai household, wrapping up and sipping warm tea was good enough for them. The siblings could both remember watching a pay-per-view movie whenever it snowed out and they were home from school. They would sip their cocoa peel tea, sitting on the carpet floor while their parents would romantically cuddle on the sofa. Leixia remembered, being the sneaky rug rat she was, always taking one of her mother's fluffy house slippers to play with her.

Winter brought many holidays to look forward to, the Laba Festival was always the eighth day of the twelfth month; it was the day Buddha reached enlightment and it was very important. People of China celebrated by consuming Laba congee, a food made with grains and fruits. Xiba loved Laba congee, and the fact that they only made it once a year for that holiday was special. Then after that in later December came the Dongzhi Festival. The customary food this holiday was tangyuan, and the main observation was of the family ancestors. The past five years celebrating this had been confusing for the siblings, as now Xiba only observed his mother's side, the Chai, and Leixia observed her father's, Yan. It was almost like the North American holiday Thanksgiving. The tangyuan was the 'turkey' of their family feast.

However while those fruitful events were just around the corner, perhaps the key to healing this family's injured hearts, Xiba lay fast asleep, heavily tangled under his comforters that shielded him from the cold. He'd fallen asleep and was able to forget about his troubles for a while, despite thinking of more wretched memories before hand; he thought about October, the year 2000… it was a beautiful day out… he'd gotten to observe the glorious sunset from his own front yard with his sister…

Blinking his eyes, Xiba went to turn over, but his arms were trapped in his bed sheets. He struggled to free them in an attempt to get comfortable and maybe conk out for a few more moments, but the red-haired boy gave in and sat up. Xianghua's voice, though muffled, was audible from the office next door. Wanting to hear better, Xiba woke himself up mentally and pressed his ear against the wall above his bed frame. She had to be on the phone; she wasn't humming melodically like she always did when she worked… this was more like stammering, a concerned tone in her voice.

"Are you_ sure_ he's not home?" the flustered mother asserted to the landlord of the Shanghai apartment complex.

"I've called the room's phone line and there was no answer."

"Well, send someone up there to check! He could be~" drunk… but she halted herself.

"M'am, may I ask why you are concerned with Yan Kilik?" damn, now a stranger would have to know her personal business… even her employer at the art institution of calligraphy didn't know about the past five years of her life.

"He's my ex-husband…" she bubbled unenthusiastically. Xianghua then decided to make her actions more clear, "It's not _him_ I'm worried about… it's our daughter, Yan Leixia."

"Well, I'm not supposed to get involved with any personal affairs, miss. If there is legal trouble, I can address your name to a lawyer." There was no way Xianghua was going through that lawyer crap again…

She sighed, defeated, "That's alright," she pinched the bridge of her nose, "If you ever get a hold of Kilik, please mention I called…" there was another pause, Xiba couldn't hear the other line, "Chai Xianghua." … "We were married in 1989," the year Xianghua had graduated, "Our divorce was in 2003." Xiba had never realized how long 14 years of marriage was, especially now that he was 16… Xiba at times felt like an old man, but Xianghua would tease him, reminding him of her own age, "I thought you said you don't get involved in personal affairs!" The aggravated woman bit back at the man on the other line, who seemed to be flirting. She hung up, frustrated, pulling at her short brown hair. Her son had stepped outside of his room and approached the stressed woman.

Grimacing with slight, unknown guilt, he held her shoulders, "You okay?" his sudden presence had startled her, but the fact that she had his company alone brightened her day that much more.

"Yeah, I'll be fine." She stood up, "Why don't you do something today?" Xianghua suggested, causing her son to wince, "Call up someone and meet them somewhere? … I really don't want you to lie in the house depressed again." She was only speaking out of concern for her oldest and only son… she was following all the steps the psychiatrist had mentioned.

"Mom… I'm not…" Xiba realized what he was doing; denying it like he had before, pausing for a brief moment, he surrendered, "Okay, I'll try to catch up with Yun-Seong." He fibbed, preparing to later claim that he was busy. Sure he had Talim or some other old friends he talked to sparingly, but the young man just did not want to surround himself with his peers that weekend. After brushing his teeth and showering, he looked at his phone, conflicted… he sat at the kitchen counter with his empty breakfast plate next to him. Xianghua had left the news on after heading to the home office.

"The government promised to establish a cooperative health care network for all rural residents by the end of this year," the anchorwoman rambled on about the improvement of people's livelihoods. None of that mattered to the young man—not now anyway. He opened the small device and his screensaver came up.

"Hmph," he sighed with heavy melancholy; he longed to go back to the Great Wall. As Xiba began to lose himself at the eternal embrace within the photo, a message alert popped up followed by four simultaneous beeping noises. Raising a brow, he looked at the time on the microwave, it was only 10:37 in the morning… he was unlike most teenagers; Xiba never slept in past nine… at least he tried not to. Hitting the call button, the virtual envelope opened up.

_Hey, are you busy? =^.^=_

_ From: Natsu_

Natsu… he hadn't thought of her at all… she was sweet enough but… hell, he'd opened up to her the other day, of course she wanted to become closer friends. Though he was hesitant, Xiba gave in.

_Nope. : )_

_ To: Natsu_

He wasn't a very enthusiastic texter; his emotions while messaging depending on _who _was talking to him. If anyone read or listened to the conversations between Yun-Seong and the ripped 16 year old, they'd be in a mental asylum. He gingerly went to Xianghua, "Hey mom," he felt unsure, especially hanging out with the same girl twice, "Uh… Natsu, wants to know if we can hang out."

"Natsu? Isn't she the new girl?" she was busy looking up the artistic history of painting with calligraphy… she had to recreate the Himalayas within the next week on paper.

"Yee—ahh…" he awkwardly drew out scratching the back of his head.

"What were you guys planning to do?" she was too preoccupied with work to really pay attention; if she wasn't focused on work, she'd worry about Leixia.

"I don't know, maybe a late lunch, early dinner kind of thing… at least that's what she mentioned." His mother nodded.

"Okay, just let me know what time you're going."

Realizing he had to finish making his plans, he messaged her for the time,

_How about 10?_

_ From: Natsu_

…

_ AT NIGHT?!_

_ To: Natsu_


	15. Far Away Voice

东太，西藏男。

Dong Tai and Xizang Nan Road were the two shopping market roads that weren't quite packed yet in Shanghai. Leixia had slept in the guest room, hidden away until Hwang's mother had left for work. She prepared for an un-delightful adventure that day, as she and her ex met with Li Long underneath the tall buildings of the metropolis. Dong Tai Road Antique Market was the kind of place people went to if they were in the mood to look at old, sentimental products, or in more blunt terms; junk. It was full of records, lanterns, and other knick-knacks. People really had to bargain hard in this shop.

"Alright, so you got the container?" the Chinese graduate asked with a smug look, his eager Korean friend held a small, empty wallet.

"You bet!" He tossed it in Leixia's delicate hands, "Leixia will be the treasure hunter." Her fawn eyes widened as her heart skipped a beat.

"What's going on?" she glared at them.

"Here's how it works," Hwang held her shoulder as if they were a couple again, "Long and I here cause a disruption, especially in old, useless shops like this, and _you _our lovely Leixia," he poked her button nose, "Are going to fill the container.

"STEAL MONEY?!"

"Shh!" he smacked his large paw over her mouth and nose, depriving her of oxygen, "Do you want to fail before we even start?!" she clawed her nails into his hand, letting her go.

"Hwang! I'm not stealing money to go to Beijing." Stealing wasn't even worth a phone call to her brother… for if he knew where she'd found the money _for _the payphone would he scold her.

"Oh come on, don't you wanna see your big brother?" Li Long mocked, having an understanding of the situation.

"We do it all the time and nothing happens!" The 18 year old reassured the poor 15 year old girl. None of them looked suspicious; all dressed warm for the winter season and Leixia even had her innocent, childlike Chinese braids… the young woman felt torn, why didn't she beg? Look around the city like a street rat or just _ask _a stranger for their cell phone usage? She thought about the useless device stuffed into her padded bra, even with the press of a button could she call help if something went wrong.

How much did a ticket cost anyway? If she took the same route as Xiba, Beijing South to Shanghai Hongqiao only backwards, a four hour and forty eight minute ride with no stops… dear god that sounded expensive… but what could she do? She didn't even know how to get to the train station from where she was standing.

"Come on… your brother's waiting for you." Hwang teased; hooking her heart like the hook on a fishing pole and reeling her in. The bait was too tempting to resist, even though she was unsure if she wanted it, it dragged the unsuspecting creature in.

"Okay…" she whispered, her stomach contracted with butterflies. The trio stepped inside the antique shop. The boys went to one end of the shop while Leixia, nauseas and shaky wobbled to the end with the old clothes, close to the register. They were the only customers at the moment, as the owner of the shop was dusting the vases. He didn't seem to be in the mood.

"May I help you?" Li Long eyed a record collection on a small display, Hwang winked at Leixia, whom would vomit before she even looked at the cash machine. She was shaky, palms sweaty, her heart would beat through her breast. But she thought of her mother… she thought of Xiba, and their warm arms… they'd never been caught she told herself, never been caught…

_CRASH!_

_ SHATTER!_

"What the fuck?!" The man yelled as Li Long toppled over the large record stand.

"Sorry man!" he yelped. Leixia darted behind the counter and nervously looked at the buttons. It was like some foreign language as she panicked, freezing… what was she doing?! She wanted to drop the wallet and run like hell was on her tail.

"Sorry?! You're gonna help clean it up!"

Leixia tapped the keys with her finger, tapping a few multiple times from her own adrenaline. Her forehead was dripping sweat as her vision blurred. Her abdomen was suddenly collided with pressure as the little drawer on the register slid out and went _chink! _The girl had lost her wits, she daftly looked at the colorful Yuan dollars with Mao Zedong, dragons, and or mountains on them. There were also a few scattered coins. Her shaky hands reached for them, then retracted, her fingers couldn't close…

"Goddamn!" the man handed Li Long a broom and went to sleeping, Hwang was in the back, gesturing Leixia bitterly to hurry up. Wide-eyed and frightened, Leixia had to breathe as she crumpled the money into her hands and stuffed them into the wallet. The crinkling noises made her dizzy; was she really doing this? Unconsciously grabbing another handful, she stuffed it in and her fingers scrambled along to scrape up the coins. Hwang saw she was coming to the conclusion of the robbery and rushed to the entrance. Leixia slammed the register closed and, nearly toppling over from her own shock, followed. Li Long smirked; he'd be meeting them once he was done. Breathlessly reaching the two streets down from Dong Tai, Leixia slouched over and held her knees, she couldn't believe it… the shame she'd put on herself for her crime, her palms were slick from the sweat and her heart was racing not from the running, but from the unspeakable task she had performed.

"Let me see." The brooding man held out his hand for the beige wallet crushed in Leixia's hand. He snatched it from the fragile heart and looked through the money, "Leixia," he smiled, "You got over 远 100!" one hundred Yuan… an antique shop of course was loaded… but she couldn't comprehend that it was probably more than enough for one ticket to Beijing.

But she had to be finished… she had to be done, "So…" she caught her breath, fighting to do so, "Does that mean I can go buy my ticket now?"

"Not a chance," he dominated the poor young woman, "You're a better treasure hunter than Li Long!" it was normally Hwang that was causing the distraction while Li Long grabbed the goods. She shook her head, almost traumatized by her sin, her lies, "Leixia, you _have _to do this! Or else you get none of it!" he closed the wallet and put it into his pocket.

"What?! Are you shitting me right now?!" she swore enraged, "I'm the one that got the damn money!" now she was talking like a thief, "Now cough it up before I pummel it out of you!" she held out her hand confidently, but Hwang laughed at the 4'10", 90 pound girl below him. How cute she was when she was trying to be threatening, but Leixia had enough left-over adrenaline to bring down all of Shanghai. The Korean chuckled, infuriating her even farther, "What do you intend to do with all that money anyway? I know it's not going to charity!" Leixia hated that bullcrap.

"That's for me to know… but there's a few more shops we need to strike before we can let you go free." Her heart filled with regret, still like a worm on a hook.

Her eyes had tears from stress, though they only stood on the brink, "… Will you keep your word?" her ex-boyfriend saluted.

"Scout's honor."

Once Li Long had rejoined his henchmen, they went farther into the city, they struck markets on Hong Mei Road, a freshwater pearl market. Li Long and Hwang acted interested in buying something for their 'girlfriends' and Leixia, stressed, but fast-paced like lightning cramped the Yuan into the wallet. Looking up and down between her ticket to Beijing and her partners in crime, or her lords, for she was the slave. They rushed to the Shanghai South Bund Fabric Market, where the three had cut it close; they had to dart out of the shops, hearing a loud screech from a bypasser. Li Long had gone to run down to the subways, but realizing his mistake at how there was security everywhere, the flustered graduate rejoined his group above ground and they ran.

The thieves fled through the streets and cut down back alleys. Only one with a benevolent goal; to reunite with her estranged family… the others… Leixia hadn't quite figured it out yet, but she prayed that this long day was almost over.

X-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-X

The crimson-haired young man had worked out an evening time to hang out with his new friend. Natsu admitted that she was a night owl and had a habit of going out with friends late at night. They even had a text conversation about how she went out to Tokyo at night so much that she forgot what the buildings looked like without the lights lit up. They agreed they'd go to Lao She Cha Guan, a teahouse diner in the city. They'd only be sipping on some tea rather than a full-course dinner, which gave them more opportunity to chat.

Natsu had been dropped off once more by Taki, dressed in snug, warm clothing as she looked to and fro for her handsome friend. Upon seeing him step out of a taxi did the blonde smile warmly. Her hair was pulled back as always, with the same pink hairclip she was quite attached to. Natsu had a thing for sparkly pink objects and _Hello Kitty_. As not only her phone had a sticker on it, but her room back in Japan had a poster of her. She still owned at least three stuffed animals of her.

They sat awkwardly alone at a table, Xiba still not sure of how this boy-girl friendship thing worked; he'd spent time with Talim before, but that was always with Yun-Seong. Natsu blushed behind the tea menu, gazing into his copper eyes with her bright green ones. Xiba was uncomfortable; she'd forgotten that she was staring.

"So, I'm guessing teas are really big here also?" the seventeen year old attempted a conversation, setting down the menu. Xiba smiled.

"Uh-huh, I've actually never been here before; there are a lot of other tea shops around the area though. My mom picks up tea leaves from Wuyutai all the time."

"Heh," she twirled her ponytail, giggling slightly, "I'm guessing that's your mom's favorite?"

"_I'm _not even sure what her favorite is anymore; she shops so many different places for tea, Wuyutai is just the only brand name I notice." Xiba snorted. Natsu looked outside, surprised that with how cold it was it hadn't snowed yet.

"In Japan, there were these minimarts called Konbini," she talked with her hands, which made her interesting to watch, Xiba was engaged as she spoke about her favorite memories, "And they had _the best _**everything**!" she spread her arms out wide, "I'm talking milk tea," she counted with her fingers, "Yogurt scotch toffees, baby star ramen," the enthusiastic young woman gasped with a smile, it lifted Xiba's spirits, "And the best part was every winter, they would have the Nikuman hot snacks!" the girl was drooling just thinking about them, ever since she was a child did would her mother stop to get her those as a winter treat. Xiba chuckled.

"Nikuman… isn't that just like manjū?" Manjū were steam buns, Xiba's absolute favorite treat; he'd confess killing someone over them.

"Pretty much, instead of fruit paste, there's meat on the inside like pork." She pantomimed her hands as if she were squeezing the thick dough down so it would fit in her mouth at that moment. Though she always wore mittens whenever she consumed them next to her mother, "And when you bite out of it you salivate and you stomach just feels so warm-" Xiba held up a hand to stop her, no one could hear over the chatter of people, but his stomach had just rumbled.

"You might not want to talk about food for a bit." The two laughed slightly. A woman came and asked what kinds of tea they wanted; after ordering green teas, the waitress would then bring the leaves with a jug of hot water for them to brew them in; it was a self-help kind of diner, the cups at the tables, beautifully decorated, came with a hold that caught the leaves and could be taken out once the tea was done brewing, "But yeah, I fucking love steam buns." He emphasized, but Natsu faked shock.

"Xiba…" she covered her mouth, "You said a bad word…"

"Shh!" he looked around, "Don't tell anyone…" after a brief pause, the two laughed for what seemed to be no reason; their statements weren't even that humorous yet they were just so giddy… "Anyways, I'm happy you invited me out again this weekend…" Natsu blushed, he'd said that the last time… they were getting married she gushed in her head.

"Well hum… Heh…" she babbled. Xiba's smile simmered down to a slight grin, oh why did he have to be this cute? Why couldn't he have been unattractive, that way she could at least look him in the eyes as she stammered. But Xiba was thinking about something else… maybe he could talk to her about what had happened… not what had happened just the day before, but _what happened_…

No… not yet. Not even Yun-Seong, his dearest friend throughout high school knew what happened, "You know, I was supposed to visit my sister this weekend."

"Huh?" the mood was then changed, Natsu held her mouth agape as she struggled to find words; what was he doing here then? "Oh… um, what changed that then?"

Xiba pouted and sighed, "Just… our dad's been…" he couldn't find the way to describe it, "He's not a bad person…" he looked at her eyes, aware that she was once again listening with her heart, "He just makes some bad choices… though he claims it's bad luck."

"Were you close to your dad, Xiba?"

"When I was a kid… but, ah—he…"

_YOU LET THIS HAPPEN TO HER! YOU DID!_

Xiba shut his eyes closed and grabbed his head, ridding of the voices. Natsu jumped back a little, "What's wrong?" No! Now she'd leave him, she thought he was a freak! He slowly opened his brown eyes to see a concerned blonde in front of him, not afraid, not glaring at him oddly, but genuinely worried… easing up a bit, he lowered his hands and loosened his posture.

"Sorry, just a slight migraine attack…" he half-lied. Natsu sighed and looked away from her crush. She winced sadly.

"You know I-"

"Here they are!" the woman set down the freshly boiled water with the two containers of tea leaves. She bowed with her hands clasped, "I hope the tea is reinvigorating." After she left Xiba poured the water into his cup and dipped some leaves in with a small spoon. Natsu fiddled with her hands in the meantime.

"You know, I feel like you trust me…" Xiba raised a brow, she'd said it like it was a bad thing.

"Well yeah…" he smirked, "You listen to me… which is nice." He shrugged, attempting to ease the moment.

"I know," she snorted, "But I feel like I haven't been fair to you." Natsu frowned, Xiba winced, "I mean I haven't shared much with you." Xiba remembered the last story that had shocked him.

"Well, you told me you were in a car crash… that must've been horrible." He frowned, he didn't notice any scars on her thankfully.

"Yeah…" she looked down a solemn, glum expression dominated her normally sanguine features. Xiba didn't want to bring it up, but now he felt he had to.

"Was… anyone with you during the wreck?"

She didn't respond, only stared at her lotus themed cup; but Xiba thought of the scenario; a teenager who probably just received her license, depending on the legal age in Japan, getting into a serious accident. Xiba narrowed his eyes with sympathy, "You got really hurt didn't you?"

"Well," she nodded, "I got a black eye from the airbag…" she admitted, "Better that than going headfirst through the windshield."

Xiba's eyes were like an owl's "I'll say…" Natsu looked into his eyes, her lip quivered, she grabbed his hand… they were placed on the table, but she squeezed it tightly, "My mother died that day."

Xiba's eyes remained wide and stunned, "When I hit the airbag, I blacked out… but apparently my mom…" she looked off, still clinging on to her now dearest friend's hand, "When we crashed and we were jerked forward, her seatbelt didn't retract and she," she couldn't say it, she let go and clapped her hands together a single time… "Jerked something loose and when the ambulance came," she sniffled, her face reddened from agony than embarrassment this time, "She was gone." She shrugged, "Just in those few seconds…" that explained her recurring nightmare… but she'd never mentioned losing her mother. For a moment, something had been put into perspective for Xiba; his mother was alive and well… physically anyway… his father and sister though…

These two strangers were almost like the same person. Natsu grabbed her hair and put her elbows on the table, trying to inhale, exhale the tears. Xiba scowled and gently reached over their teacups. He gently took one hand and held it. Natsu halted her misery for a moment to see through her pink, teary eyes that she had someone to comfort her for the first time since that day a year ago. Holding his hand gently with both of hers, she held it to her cheek…

They were lost souls who'd bumped into each other by chance… fate, maybe. Chance, absolutely.


	16. Cold Night in Hell

**Souls_&_Swords: Warning: Contains foul language, intense emotional scenes, and mature (But non-explicit) themes.**

Her hair was in knots, what was left of her outfit was wrinkled and covered with dirt and grime from splashing into mud puddles as she ran; ran as far away as possible from her hellish reality. Leixia had violently twisted her ankle and was limping down the neon-colored streets, going about unnoticed by the other civilians. She was catching her breath, her heart was still pounding; even the cold, dry air that allowed the girl to see her thick, heavy breaths in front of her didn't ease her. Her right knee-cap was scraped and covered with dry blood, beginning the process of scabbing over.

_Huff... Huff..._

She was lost; wandering Shanghai's lonely streets, but Leixia had the money. ￥70 in her hand, crinkled and bent. It appeared cheap, but Leixia had it. She could laugh from her delirium of what satanic things she had gone through to obtain it... but not yet. The shock was still settling in.

"Alright, looks like we've got ourselves a ticket to Beijing!" Hwang counted the wad of cash in his greedy hands. The three were hidden in a dark alley way. He was taunting Leixia for the crimes they had forced her to commit. The young woman had her arms folded stoically as she waited for him to slap her earnings in her hand, make a sassy comment, then leave to her sanctuary. Li Long winked at the cute minor.

"I must say, not bad for a 10th grade chic; you _sure_ this is your first time stealing?"

Leixia didn't bat an eyelash, now more disgruntled by her situation than frightened. Hwang snickered, folding the money into his palm.

_Huff... Huff..._

Leixia raised a brow, "Ahem?" she confronted the senior, "Where's _my _share?" the girl then held out her hand impatiently. He smacked her wrist forcefully, turning it red, "Ow! What the hell Hwang?!"

"Don't you get it you airhead; we only used you because you looked too innocent to be a criminal!" he laughed, Leixia's brown eyes were red; fiery red from exhaustion, shock, and hatred.

Burning hatred.

"What?" hissed Leixia.

"Hehe,you see," Li Long began, "It's already hard enough getting money for drugs when you _look _like someone looking for drugs."

"YOU USED ME TO GET DRUGS?" Leixia shouted in her own sudden outburst of grief. How could she? A girl as smart as she is dumbed herself down to find her brother... how could she?

"Shh!" Hwang hit her shoulder, "Not so loud you idiot!"

"Don't call me an idiot!" the young lady roared, pointing a finger, "You're the one who used me to get money for drugs! What good does cocaine do for you anyway?"

"Tsh..." the Korean scoffed, "It's heroin."

"Ugh!" the 15 year old balled her hands into fists, "Well either way, I did my part of the job! Now cough up the money for my ticket!" Now she was getting serious; Oh how horrified Leixia was, under the mercy of two, older and strange men. Her delicate heart beat violently, nearly plummeting through her breast. The monsters were glaring at her, irritated. Leixia kept her nerve, biting her lip to keep it stiff. She remained fully erect in posture, "Well?!"

"I'll give you something~!" Hwang pushed his weight onto the unsuspecting girl, pressing her petite, yet curvaceous body against the wall of the building. Li Long only watched with amusement. The 90 pound girl tried to heft him off, panicking. He was breathing down her neck.

"HWANG!" _Huff... Huff... _"GET OFF!" Leixia squirmed, but he held her shoulders against the brick, tightly caressing hid body along with hers, stroking her near hour-glass shaped figure, tears stood, they were more of shame, anger, and hatred than sadness, "GET OFF OF M~MM!" he held her mouth mute with his large paw. He outlined her thighs, covered by denim. Her nose and mouth were muffled as she was loosing breath.

_Daddy... _she screamed in her head, not knowing why her subconscious had suddenly reached out to him... perhaps intellectually she knew that if anyone was to come to her rescue at that moment, it would be Kilik... but emotionally, she had wanted to cry 'Xiba'.

"It's good that you're so tiny..." he caressed the soft, pink cheek of his helpless prize, "I'll fit right in."

What had she done? How could she have let herself down by making this unfortunate decision?! What good was she to anyone if she wasn't good to herself? Leixia could feel herself fainting from the lack of oxygen as she now accepted her fate; to die a shame to her family... But she heard her brother's voice; he shouted from the back of her head in a childish, high-pitched voice, _Find their weak point! Then beam 'em as hard as you can! _As if she has being used as a puppet by an outside force, Leixia's knee jerked upright, pounding Hwang's manhood with as much force as possible. Free to take a breath as Li Long staggered backwards from surprise, the Chinese teenager's limps splayed out like a stringed-puppet's and grabbed the man's head, slamming his empty shell of a membrane into the wall behind them.

What had happened...? Leixia couldn't use this time now to think! What if the other madman grabbed her? She then eyed the recuperating young man whom held his bruised pride in one had, groaning in agony, and the Yuan in the other. Snatching what she could from his loose grip, Leixia fled; leaving behind an entertained and chuckling Chinese graduate with no future and her ex-boyfriend for the last time.

_Huff... Huff.._

Fleeing the back alley wasn't enough; for the young woman had to run _far_ away...

_Huff... Hun... _she cringed in pain and stopped.

As Leixia ran, stepping into a two-inch deep puddle, soaking her jeans and shoes, her ankle twisted and she came to a heavy slip, "AGH!" saving her head from kissing the asphalt with her wrists and her knees, Leixia had to inhale deeply from the pain. The 15 year old runaway lied alone in cold agony, grabbing her bloodied knee and holding pressure against it for a good while, forcing herself up on her bottom. That was when she adolescent decided no more running that night. The pain returned to her eventually, but at least now she was in the comforts of other citizens who would maybe try to help her... if she were lucky.

Unable to move anymore for the moment, Leixia backed off the sidewalk and into the building door, out of the way of other pedestrians. She slumped down and lifted up the denim sleeve. Her knee was definitely going to be scabbed over and leave a scar; which would _hopefully_ appear more attractive than the mutilation looked now. Sighing with embarrassment, the pretty brunette pouted, lowered the sleeve, and held her legs, burying her face into her knees. What had she done to herself... to her father? To her mother and brother?

"What did I do?" she finally asked... her shoulder's twitched as she spasmed with a sudden breath. The girl sobbed into her tarnished attire, blending in well with Shanghai's hectic environment. It was so cold, her tears would become droplets of ice before they reached her chin-line. Puffing a breath of icy cold air and lifting her head, Leixia wiped her runny nose with the jacket sleeve she had been given. Upon spreading the mucus onto her sleeve did Leixia see, in her numbed, cold hands was the Yuan. As if the puppet on strings had been jerked upright, she leapt to her feet. Leixia had been feeling so miserable that she nearly forgot that she was strong enough to find a ticket to her mother... to her older brother as well.

"Xiba..." she held the ￥70 in close to her heart, still somehow warm in all this trauma, resolution warmed her veins, "Mom..." she whispered... the young woman joined the sidewalk crowd with one location in her mind... and that was home.

...

Waking up with a slight gasp, Xianghua turned her body over onto her side. Blinking and processing where she was, the mother sat upright and hopped off of her bed. Scampering across the freezing tile floors of the living room to the carpet hallway, Xianghua composed herself quietly, gently turned the knob of her son's bedroom door, and pushed it inward. It creaked softly, but loud enough to panic the woman who was trying to be sneaky. Peering inside the dark room, Xiba lied heavily asleep, half tucked under his messy sheets. Her red-haired, teenaged boy was conked out alright, definitely more peaceful than she had been... at least Xianghua hoped. The mother couldn't resist her precious son's position and she crept in over the thin, soft carpet. Xianghua admired the honest young man she'd raised for a moment and lovingly lifted his arm that he normally used to prop his pillow up onto the bed, as it had been dangling off the side. Xiba always brought a smile back to the woman's face, as she grinned and leaned in gently.

"At least I still have _you_." she whispered almost mutely and glided her fingers through his messy hair. Hardening his features, almost wincing, Xianghua took it as an acknowledgement and backed away. Worried that she may have woken him up, the mother waited a bit before leaving the room. She looked at the clock, three o' clock in the morning. Thank god it was the weekend and that her job mostly consisted of home working. Xiba remained cold-cocked and now relieved of her stress, the woman gently closed the door. Eyes fully adjusted to the dark, Xianghua couldn't help but look at her home... it was full of so many memories... so many delightful ones... so many atrocious ones...

_BZZZT!_

A loud, rumbling noise came from the office, startling Xianghua and waking Xiba, who's pillow was right against the all where the office desk was. It was Xianghua's cell phone, which was always on vibrate. The ratting sound the shaking device made against the wooden counter created a frightening noise. Who the hell would be calling at this hour?

_BZZZT!_

"What on earth?" she mumbled, switching on the office light and searching for the phone. Xiba lazily sat up with half-open eyes. He'd just been having the strangest dream; it was his unusual dreams that only happened once, and he would probably never happen again; this was bad news for him, as just before the noise startled him awake, the full moon was being surrounded by streaks of black mist. They were shrouding the moon as if they had minds of their own; like snakes or eels they swam around the white, crater-filled mass. He had no chance of falling back asleep into it and finding out what was happening, as Xiba blinked his copper eyes and shook his head, trying to wake up. The lights were on, he could see through the gap under his door.

"Yes... is this who I think it is?"

Who was his mother talking to? Rubbing his almond-shaped eyes, the young man hobbled to his feet and over to the bedroom door. It was beyond freezing in the household, "WHAT?" he could hear Xianghua growl, never hearing such a tone from his mother before ever in the sixteen years he's known her. Nervous, he opened the bedroom door and poked his head out, "What do you _mean _our daughter is missing?!" her voice was breaking, but Xiba was suddenly awakened and full of fear. What was happening? Was he still dreaming?

"Mom?" he spoke out, "What's going on?" her eyes were pink and wide.

"I can't believe you'd wait this long to tell me! Why didn't you call immediately?!" it was his father she was talking to... confronting him about rejecting Xiba was one thing... but at least he knew his way back home... Leixia was a much different person with a different life. Xiba's heart was racing, but he calmed himself before he lost the ability to keep up with it.

"Mom!" he called for her attention again, but she sneered right at her own son. It wasn't him she was angry with however... she was clawing into the desk and her phone simultaneously. The bewildered woman jerked up.

"You listen to me now Kilik... if you don't call me in the next few hours saying that my baby girl is home safe..." she bit her tongue purposefully; God knows what she'd say. Xiba couldn't comprehend any of this... his little sister, alone in the largest city of China, crawling with prowlers... at that moment of sheer panic the boy saw shadow pass through the window and they heard a violent knock at the door.


	17. Almost There

Leixia didn't understand how she had reached the Shanghai train station to Beijing South, but her luck finally took her side as she made her way to the machine and bought a ticket. China had just made manual ticket machines rather than having to buy inside the station. Her energy still hadn't returned to her legs but she had to stay awake for just a tad longer; she had a four hour train ride ahead of her. What was their address again? Shit! After ripping the ticket out of the slot and rushing near the tracks, she wracked her brain trying to remember the street names… if Xiba walked from school to both the station and the subway station then surely it wasn't that far!

She remembered the name of their neighborhood at least… and of course what their house looked like… exactly the same as the one next to it… and worse, the one across the street. It was nearing midnight when Leixia stepped onto the train; taking in the overwhelming relief that she had made it… she was sitting on the comfortable, well-lit train on a non-stop ride to her mother and brother. Leixia would immediately recognize the exact driveway she'd spent her childhood playing with her brother on. What hell she'd gone through to reach heaven… but what if this heaven was only temporary. What if her father snatched her right back? What if Hwang and Li Long lied and turned her over to the police? So many what ifs… she wanted Xianghua to cradle her in her arms and protect her from the outside world. But she was far too old for that, at least the girl intellectually knew.

She didn't bother with the subway… she had no money left, Leixia familiarized herself with the vague memories of these streets; many a time had they passed Beijing No. 55 Middle School and High School, every time Xianghua would comment at how they'd both be going there someday. Unaware that she was wrong. It was freezing; but she had to go on. Her legs were shaky and in pain, her hands were numb, but she had to wrap her arms over her breasts; for the chills on her abdomen and chest caused her entire body to shiver. When she saw her sanctuary at last appear in subtle view, the street lights making it appear as if god had lit it up for her. Her eyes were tired, her knee still bloody and entire body frozen and aching. But she had made it… somehow, she didn't quit and Leixia persevered. She could see her breath in front of her face, though the puffed cloud was becoming less and less visible each time.

Her body couldn't take much more of this, she needed warmth and rest. Leixia reached the front stoop, where through the window; the lights were on for some reason. She knew Xianghua worked into the wee hours of day sometimes, but she only kept her lamp turned on in those occasions, never the full office light. The blinds were shut, she hadn't seen her mother in person in five years… The young lady's once elegantly braided hair was falling out of place. She quickly unraveled what was left and pounded on the door. Time stood still for the broken family; Leixia especially whose heart was pounding… her anxiety knew no bounds. Her dry eyes widened as she took deep breaths, attempting to keep herself composed. She held herself tightly. Xianghua, whom was about to snap at Kilik over the phone froze for a moment, her son was baffled at the situation entirely.

"Who's that?!" Xiba sauntered over to the front door as Xianghua had to sit down, unable to take in all of this frightening news… the mother's knees had crumpled. Not another word between the divorcees were exchanged as the young man opened the door to his frightened younger sister. He did a mental double take; was his sister, frozen, in clothes he'd never seen her wear before, on the verge of tears and pneumonia standing before him? She saw her brother, her protection. Now wasn't the time to cry! Stay strong! She'd made it this far!

"Leixia?!"

Xianghua's heart skipped a beat; Kilik heard her breath suddenly shorten, "Xianghua? What's wrong?" Had she truly heard what she just thought she had heard?

"I'll… c-call you back…" she pressed the end button and sat for a moment. In slight shock, her body wouldn't respond to her command signals. Xiba, unable to find his words, pulled Leixia by the shoulder and embraced her, the warmth of his arms and body eased the girl's emotional pain. Don't cry… even if you're happy, don't cry! She demanded as her lips quivered. Meanwhile Xiba was wide-eyed, in the past few minutes he was awake, so much had changed. Her anxieties weren't over just yet; she had yet to lay her eyes on her mother. Rushing out of the office and behind them, their mother stood speechless and breathless.

Xiba pulled away and let the two go through their reunification. Xianghua became paler than a ghost, arms wanting to reach out to hug her beloved one… they stared tragically into each other's eyes. No sound came from them… finally, Leixia spoke, "I really missed you, mommy." There was a pause—a dreadfully painful one. Xianghua felt her body reclining once more, fainting even. But she rushed forward to her daughter. Leixia at last found an acceptable moment worth crying. Slamming the front door shut, Xiba watched in a strange sorrow. He wanted to be happy, but with the state Leixia was in… something wasn't right. For the first time in half a decade, feeling more like half a century, the girl's spirit was at peace.

"Just rest in here for now." The mother bundled the fifteen-year-old under the thick sheets of her bed. Xianghua didn't have time to search for the key to Leixia's actual bedroom. Not even dressed comfortably, only kicking her shoes off, the young woman wrapped herself up and fell asleep within seconds. Her body defeated and effeminate. She would not discuss what ineffable, bilious crimes she had participated in to get there… all Leixia would do is rest. Meanwhile, the mother and son couldn't sleep at this point, they sat at the kitchen counter, pondering the situation heavily. Xianghua held a fist over her mouth in intense thought.

"I don't know how the hell she got down here," Xiba had gained a headache, "There's no way dad would just change his mind like that and send her! Especially at freaking—four in the morning!" He eyed the microwave. His mother shook her head, relieved that at least she knew where her daughter was, but now there was something legal _and _emotionally she had to take care of.

"She can't stay here…" the woman whispered, "Not unless I get full custody from Kilik." Xiba didn't understand how signing a few papers and hearing it from strangers would make a difference. He grew annoyed; either from the lack of sleep or his mother's harrowing issue.

"You're her _mother_! You technically already _have _full custody!"

"I know what you're saying Xiba, but I have to tell Kilik she's here… and if I just outright say I'm taking her from him, he could file for kidnapping and then we'll never see her again." Xiba's eyes narrowed; seeing Leixia only once a month was already hard enough but never again? Maybe not for a few years but… how painful would it be for his mother to endure the pain of having her child taken away from her… _again_.

"It just," Xiba gritted his teeth, "Makes me so angry!"

"Me too!" his mother reminded him, "But the wound heals itself over time, Xiba…" she gently turned his head to her, "Even if it leaves a scar, the pain always goes away." She smiled, "You just have to do what you have to do." Xiba's brown eyes shone with hollow fear.

"Wounds also re-open, and they bleed out more than before…" he turned his head away, removing her soft hand. Shit, he was talking like that again! Did she pick up his prescription? Maybe it was just the shock of the moment?

"Xiba—"

They heard a feint grunt from Xianghua's bedroom; reminding them that they were no longer the only ones living in the Chai household. Xianghua's heart had been repaired from seeing her daughter's true face again, but it seemed she solved one problem and always found another, "At least she's here and she's safe… we'll get everything figured out tomorrow." She rubbed her son's shoulder, still apprehensive of the outcome. One thing was for sure, he already had a companion to talk to tomorrow.

X-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-X

The temperature had dropped dramatically; it was below freezing the next morning. December brought beautiful snow and festive holidays, but at times, the weather could interrupt the joy of winter. The sky was overcast with bright clouds, no sun in sight. There was no doubt it would snow sometime that day. Leixia was taking a shower, the hot water handle turned all the way to where it could be labeled 'Mordor'. But thanks to the cold, it felt hardly boiling at all. As she scrubbed her skin, she looked at the dark brown, repulsive scabs on her knee. She had to be conscious of them so that they kept hidden. No way would she be wearing a skirt or shorts anytime soon anyway! The young woman had borrowed one of Xianghua's old toothbrushes for now, desperate for the minty taste in her mouth again. How long had it been since she'd actually _eaten _anything?

When Leixia walked out to see a pantry full of breakfast choices, she heard angels. Joining her brother on the couch, the two would then understand the true meaning of 'awkward'. "Good… morning" she smiled. Xiba nodded.

"Um… morning." They wanted to act like everything was normal, but they knew it wasn't. Xiba just didn't understand how on earth Leixia managed to catch a train to Beijing at midnight. Leixia knew he was wondering, and the thought of actually telling him the truth about this was nerve-wracking. They nibbled at their breakfasts, letting whatever was on the television play through. Occasionally glancing at each other with their matching pairs of brown eyes, they'd either turn away or purse their lips.

"So…" Leixia mumbled, "Whatcha have for homework?" easy enough, now her brother only had to give a one-worded answer at the least.

"Huh? Oh I have, uh… A psyche project and a mid-term packet for traditional literature I have to start. Leixia tapped her nails on the armrest.

"Need help on any of them…?" they were both in physics after all, advanced placement no less.

"No, it's pretty simple, just time consu- Why are you here?!" the young man finally snapped, "What on earth happened with dad the other day? You weren't there when I showed up!" Xiba was slightly aggravated with her; she was the cause of his stress all night that Friday night, had she been there would he have been okay with the rejection from his father… at least he thought. Guilty, Leixia bowed her head.

"Xiba, dad was out of his mind, he was drinking."

"I know… he was gone when I came, he practically shoved me out the door…" with words at least, heart-broken he was… especially with what he'd said to him. Leixia was still forcing the memories of the day before out, setting her plate to the side.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there."

"Where _were _you?" the sixteen-year-old demanded seriously. Leixia, still deeply remorseful for putting him through this stress couldn't answer, even though he deserved one.

"I can't tell you." She admitted.

"Sure you can, I'm your brother." He reminded her, his most successful method of persuasion. The look in his sister's eyes gave Xiba a clear understanding of what was truly going on. He leaned in and whispered, "If you can't tell mom, I won't either." he promised, though he wasn't sure if he'd like the answer. It was clear now his sister was hiding something… something darker than who her 'secret crush' was in the fifth grade. Giving in and letting go, he huffed and leaned away, turning back to the T.V. Leixia fiddled with her toes, pulling her foot up on the couch and noting to herself she should re-paint her toenails later. If she had any nail-polish she could borrow from Xianghua.

"Okay you two," speaking of whom, she stepped out of her room, wearing a silk blue scarf, a blue jacket and long pants; she needed this warmth. She looked more as though she were headed out somewhere than ready to hang around the house.

"Mom, where are you going? It's nine in the morning." Leixia had forgotten that her job sometimes required her to leave early somewhere. But this was family business.

"I just got off the phone with your father…" she fidgeted with her fingers, her children looked at her fascinated, yet worried, "He says he's in Beijing." Leixia flinched, "Listen… he says he wants us to meet with our lawyer and _negotiate _something…." They were appalled by the news, "I'll try to keep you updated Xiba on what's going on!"

"Got it."

Xianghua held her fist close to her heart and became resolute, "Alright… let's hope everything goes well." She had to stand as a strong-willed figure among her children; traits they both had. Though Leixia was strong-willed more so in a sense of stubborn more so than her brother.

"Mother?" Leixia hopped off the couch and caught her at the front door. Xianghua looked at her precious princess, "Tell dad I…" she hesitated, "I…" she was sorry, so damn sorry for what she'd done… she'd betrayed her family and stole from the public, "Tell dad I just couldn't take it anymore."

As Xiba winced with concern, Xianghua held her with one arm, "I'll tell him you're alright now." She promised. With a kiss on her forehead, the mother left the door with the day's goal; win back her daughter.


	18. December's Offering

Natsu was flat on her back, lying upside down on her bed, her feet up against the headrest. A strange thought wouldn't stop popping into her head as she tried to focus on her mid-term reviews. Taki was asleep in the room down the hall, she was a third-shift nurse and was practically nocturnal… therefore she didn't have a proper adult to talk about these strange feelings with. Natsu stared at the ceiling fan as she zoned out. All she could think about Xiba and her fantasies from the night before; fantasies of kissing him passionately. Everything finally made sense at that moment until the dream was over.

The blonde knew she had a crush on the young man but… it could never be. Not a girl like herself anyway… mathematically challenged and more emotionally damaged than he could deal with probably. But the night before; when she'd opened up he didn't fade away like her other friends had when her mother died. And as icing on the cake, he was handsome. But Natsu had never had a decent experience with a man… not even her father was kind enough to note her beauty, or even be overprotective like a normal father should be. The seventeen year old eyed the phone next to her on the bed. It was nearly noon… surely he'd be up for hanging out by now, and he didn't complain about her spontaneous personality.

Opening the phone and writing out a simple message, she tapped the keys multiple times to get the correct letter;

_Hey… I was wondering if you-_

No, that sounded a little desperate. She deleted the letters and re-wrote it with her pink fingernails.

_Are you busy today? :-)_

There, casual enough. Just a simple _yes _or _no_ question. Why was she doing this if she was suddenly feeling nervous about him? Natsu asked herself that a moment too late as she'd already hit the send button and the tiny hourglass spun round and round. Shutting the cell phone closed and setting it aside, the teenager decided to distract herself and get back to work. Or at least try to. Before sitting up, Natsu turned her head to the other side to see Takara lying down next to her bed. She immediately lifted her head and stared at her with shiny curious eyes.

_Hnn?_

She whined. The girl couldn't help but giggle and lower one of her legs off of the bed; the tawny-haired girl began to pet Takara's side with her foot, prompting the canine to lick her sole, ticking it. At least she had her—erm, Taki's pet to keep her company. All the while, just a few miles away, Xiba's cell phone buzzed four times on his bedroom desk. But he hadn't heard it, as he was _quite _preoccupied at the moment. The two siblings sat at the counter; Xiba was working on his application to Tokyo University, and Leixia was simply observing.

Despite they were indoors with a heater, the two were wearing jackets. If snow didn't show itself that day, then only god knew how cold it would become when it did. Leixia played with her braided hair, watching her brother fill out the forms on the blank lines. He wrote with overly-neat hand-writing. Lucky for him, the university had translators; he was free to write in his own language. Xiba occasionally glanced at his sister; the young man was still slightly shocked that she was in his home—_their _home he should say… but after five long years of not even sitting at that very kitchen counter together, Xiba never realized how accustomed he was to being a part-time only child. The sixteen year old had to stop; he put his pencil down, grasped his hair, and groaned.

"What's wrong?" Leixia twisted her one of her braids over her shoulder; she wasn't looking at her brother.

"Nothing." He lied, "You want something to eat?" he suggested, perhaps their equal love of food would diminish the awkward atmosphere. Leixia perked up, lunch sounded fantastic that very moment.

"Okay, let me go put my shoes on!" she scooted her chair back and hopped off, but before she could get the sneakers from their mother's room, Xiba grabbed her sleeve.

"Uh sis? We're not in Shanghai." He chuckled, understanding that his sister hadn't readjusted either. Leixia blushed and scratched her cheek. She forced a giggle, but she actually had wanted to leave the house for at least an hour… being home was still too strange; her own room wasn't even unlocked! The furniture or the color of the walls hadn't changed over the years either… yet the school photos in Xianghua's room had. But that was it; for even the photos on the refrigerator were exactly the same. One of them included Kilik holding Xiba and Leixia arm in arm… that was taken in the year 2000… Leixia had her bangs and her little bob cut. Another was a card for Chinese New Years that Leixia had sent two years back, signed and painted with her own glitter glue.

"Oh—hehe, right." The melancholy young lady turned around, masking her disappointment, "So, what do we have here?" Xiba slid out of his chair and walked over to the pantry.

"Um… let's see…" he searched for something that didn't require much effort to make. He didn't feel like cooking; he'd been up since four in the morning and was barely standing up straight. Leixia approached her brawny brother, nervously fiddling with her second braid. Xiba could tell she was anxious; as children Leixia's habit was twirling her hair when she was nervous, she'd gotten the fidgeting habit from their father's side. Xiba scratched and picked at his nails when he was nervous, he'd gotten his mom's old habit. His copper eyes winced with concern as he stepped away, "Sis, you alright?" Leixia let go of her hair, she'd been caught, "You seem really unhinged." He knew damn well why she was so fidgety that day, so shaky… but getting it out of her was always a great accomplishment; and plus, talking was the best medicine for Leixia.

"I'm just worried." Well that was obvious, "I'm just so scared~." Her voice shook, Xiba took this opportunity to hear _how _she even got to Beijing in the first place.

"Scared of what?" he brought her to the floor where they sat… unashamed of their choice of seating. It was _their _home after all, "Worse comes to worse… you go back to Shanghai, and I visit you every month again."

"That's easy for you to say," she bit back, "You graduate in a few months… then you'll be in Tokyo University. And because you were so smart in kindergarten and passed that stupid test I have two more years until I'll get to travel and see you again." Xiba raised a brow, he grew assertive.

"Who's to say it'll be like that? Who knows; maybe I won't even get into Tokyo Un-"

"Of course you will; you were always the golden child… brought home straight A's and helped me with my homework…" Leixia looked away and Xiba blushed, slightly annoyed by her insistence that she not honestly state why she was afraid. He would never be sure if Leixia had became more like Kilik over the years, or if it was just naturally a part of her personality; they'd rather argue than talk about how they felt, "Meanwhile I have D's and F's… I'll be lucky if Shanghai High offers a summer school to make up for them, I have no idea what I want to do…" she gave in, curling her knees up and holding her head, she began to shake, "I just don't want to be alone anymore!"

Xiba held his own knees, now guilty he'd made her talk; but she needed to break down… even a little bit. Holding in tears was like holding back a rapid tidal wave; if one didn't let nature run its natural course, only disaster would strike. But Leixia was a strong fifteen-year-old girl… she was capable of drowning it out. Inhaling and exhaling deeply, she let go of her hair and dropped her arms, "You're not alone Leixia, you never were." He whispered.

"One day I will be… mom and dad will be gone; we both know it'll happen someday." Xiba grimaced, trying to keep from looking at her; eye contact with someone who was emotional would make them cry; and in this case, if Leixia cried, Xiba would cry, and neither one of them would make it through the conversation.

"But we'll still have each other…" the ripped teenager lifted his back to sit upright, "You'll always have your big brother." He turned his head and there they were—the fawn eyes that had been running in the family for generations. But no tears were shed thankfully, "And I'll always have my little sister." Oh god, he felt tears; but they weren't from sadness or grief… no, they were from relief. Choking them back, he'd finally succeeded; Leixia, though glassy eyed, grinned. Leixia felt a lump in her throat, though no one could tell what was going to happen next… at least she had Xiba for that moment. The adolescent laid her head on her brother's shoulder.

X-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-X

Xianghua was told to meet at the Jiaoxia Coffee Café, where her ex-husband had promised to meet her, Kilik said he'd _contacted someone_. The woman laid her finger on two easy words; A lawyer. If he was filing for kidnapping, there would be no use; she had evidence of intoxication for one thing, if her word counted as evidence… and Leixia could testify—testify… what had the woman gotten herself into? Sitting at a small table outside, anxiously tapping her nails on the surface, she began to panic internally—though her fear was obvious—she'd become wide-eyed at the thought of going to court and dragging her teenage children into it; especially with a son who had midterm exams to worry about already. What had she done?

What. Had. She. Done?

"Xianghua?"

Her heart skipped a beat… it was the very voice that made her skin crawl… but for once it wasn't digitalized or muffled by phone-lines. Looking up she saw her ex-spouse, dressed warmly yet semi-formally as she was. A young man in casual-formal attire stood next to him with files tucked under his arms. Her amber eyes remained wide; words tried to form but all Xianghua could so was stutter, "K-Ki-Kilik…" she forced out, she sounded confused more than surprised.

He gestured to the older man, she knew his face immediately, "You remember Mengyao?" the man who'd made their separation legal; of course she remembered! Xianghua stood up and bowed.

"Yes, how are you?"

"I've been doing well, Chai Xianghua." He returned the gesture, speaking hoarsely. The man was just as polite as before; or as a polite divorce lawyers could be. The two men then took their seats, "May I say you look just as lovely as ever." He complimented. Xianghua pursed her lips and went back to staring at her hus—ex-husband. Kilik kept his head down low, scratching at his hair. He'd cut it recently, it looked shorter than usual. The woman would never forget that long ponytail he had when she'd first met him… Xianghua always had short hair since they'd known each other.

"So, Chai Xianghua, Yan Kilik," Mengyao opened his files; papers with endless waves of words were nearly taken away by the wind, "Is this really your first time seeing each other in person in five years?"

"Yes sir." Kilik muttered—he was staring at his leg while Xianghua continued to gaze in shock at his somber face. Only glance by glance would he look into her eyes then back at the ground, or at the pedestrians walking down the street, some shivering or blowing into their hands for warmth, some walking their dogs, some pushing their children in strollers.

"Ah, just the amount of time you two have been separated." The lawyer flipped the paper over, looking for the correct information he needed; it was on the page below said file. After hearing nothing but the wind, chattering of the citizens, and the flipping of pages, Mengyao cleared his throat, "Here we are; child custody services." The mother's stomach dropped, as if she'd been thrown out of a plane above the ocean—falling weightless and would plunge down into the depths of nothingness. Was he going to take away Leixia for good? Kilik didn't say a word, nor did he wince or take one final glance. The man only shut his eyes.

"In late November of 2003, it was agreed that you, Chai Xianghua, would take full custody of your oldest child and only son Chai Xiba, right?"

"Mm…" she cleared her throat, now dry from either the winter weather, or her anxiety.

"And you Yan Kilik would take your youngest child and only daughter Yan Leixia?"

"Yes…"

"And only two years ago, you two split your custody of both children, yes?"

…

_Both_ children?

What—what did he…?

Had Xianghua just heard what she'd thought she'd heard?!

"_Both_ children?" she raised a brow, the corresponding eye twitched a bit, showing her anger. Kilik at last lifted his head… now she knew why the man hadn't looked at her straight on once; he was guilty, "You said that we were only splitting the custody of Xiba!" she slammed her hands on the table, "All this time Leixia was allowed to see me?!"

"Now now, miss." Mengyao calmly raised his hands, "No need to get excited over this… as far as the current situation goes, Leixia is allowed to stay at your place of residency… as long as the custody is split even."

"You lied to me for two years!" the woman disregarded the attorney's words and growled at Kilik. He folded his arms.

"I'm sorry…"

"…" The enraged woman was shot silent; for five years she'd longed to hear those words in a sincere tone like he had just stated… but now that she'd heard it… what now? Her heart wasn't as fragile and forgiving as it was at the time of their separation.

"It was hard enough that I got my son taken away from me… when we agreed that he could come and visit every month, I became greedy." Kilik then gave his stare down… his icy cold stare that was more frostbitten than the Beijing air, "I just needed the company of my son _and _my daughter." There was hate in his voice, "You always talk as if they're yours but remember they are also _my _children. I'm their father!" his voice had caught the attention of a bypasser, who stared curiously as they walked down the sidewalk, "_I'm _their father." He repeated more quietly. More intimidating.

The fact that he knew that his only son wasn't all his is what had made him so bitter all this time… so unfortunately reserved. Now the woman knew why Kilik was here… he was going to steal Xiba away from her as she'd "stolen" him away… an unwanted trade. No! Not her boy!

"Ahem…" Mengyao organized the papers so that they were all evenly aligned, "Now that we've gotten our aggressions out of the way, let me spill out the generous offering Kilik has given." _Generous offer…?_ He better not be bribing her. Her children were priceless; even if being a calligraphy artist and part time calligraphy teacher didn't pay much, being a mother was her primary occupation.

"I don't want any money!" Xianghua shouted, uncaring of whatever attention she may attract, "I don't care if you offer me everything the fucking… Agricultural Bank of China owns!" she spit out an example, "You will never buy my children away from me!" that was the one flaw that Kilik cringed from since they'd divorced; she always referred to Xiba as 'her' son or Leixia as 'her' daughter. There was no 'our' or 'we're' in divorce.

"Well, that won't be a problem," Kilik bit like a snake, "Since I'm not offering any money!"

Huh?

"Kilik would like to offer you full custody of both children."

_Ba-bump… ba-bump… _Xianghua felt her heart gently beating into her breast… this moment was all too surreal. The self-centered man was offering his—her children? "Excuse me?" Xianghua, embarrassed, whispered.

"Well according to this," Mengyao pointed at a block of words only he could read, "If a single parent has suffered a severe case of intoxication, the other parent, or child may decide custody. Even if intoxication was not seen in a child's presence, it can still affect the child and will be considered as domestic abuse." He closed the file folder, "Kilik here admits to being drunk in the presence of both his children and verbally abusing both of them."

"_**What?**_" Xianghua snarled through her teeth. How convulsing… the only thing keeping her from clawing her nails into Kilik's eyes was the fact she was in a public area.

"In this case we are modifying the original custody order, let's say; instead, you Chai Xianghua will nurture for both children, and only when they are of legal age can they visit Kilik unsupervised." The woman held her mouth agape, she couldn't breathe for a moment, but her heart-rate was slowing down, her headache was decreasing… was this all the doing of her old spouse?

"So… you're offering… me to take care of Leixia and Xiba?"

"…" Kilik lowered his head, "I never want to see my daughter in that much pain again… and when she ran off I-" he sighed, "I know she'll be safe with you until I get myself together." Xianghua didn't have any time to respond as Mengyao pointed at his watch.

"If you're going to make a decision, you may want to hurry because I have another client back in Shanghai who'll be expecting me this afternoon!" the woman's brown eyes looked back and forth between the lawyer and the… the father who really did care.

"I'll sign the contracts and be on my way." She whispered flatly. She heard a long, dreary sigh from the man across from her, as if in agony… Kilik had seen this coming… but it was the right thing; his heart felt like a stone in his chest.

As soon as the seemingly endless streams of contracts were done with Xianghua's name signed in ink, Mengyao quickly slapped the files closed, "Alright! Great working with you two again," he bowed in a hurry, "I've got to see if I can catch the next flight!" with that, the lawyer dashed off. The man and woman were left in their melancholy. Kilik looked down and Xianghua bit her lip. The over-joy hadn't quite kicked in yet… she slowly stood up, trying to ease away.

"I hope you're happy…" Kilik looked at her, inching out of his chair, "Giving up my children isn't easy at all for me…" he rubbed his hands, numb from the cold, "Please keep me updated on how they're doing." A cool breeze drifted by, filling in the gap of silence between the two's words.

"I will."

The man turned around, he had a train to catch… the longest train ride back home… where no one would be waiting for him. Xianghua was overwhelmed… guilt, joy, worry, exhilaration… the positives were beginning to drown out the negatives and before going home to jump with joy, she silently mouthed her last words to Kilik for now, 'Thank you'…


	19. Endearing

"You mean it?! You absolutely mean it?!" Leixia clawed into her mother's arms with delirium, her mother was red-faced; Xianghua hadn't been able to stop smiling the entire car ride home.

"Yes! Your father had me sign a contract giving me full custody!" Before she could even finish the sentence, Leixia leapt forward into her mother, weighing only eleven pounds below her. They clawed into each other's backs, not even noticing the discomfort of their nails, cheering like young pre-adolescents. Xiba watched from the other side of the kitchen, not one to gush, and unsure of how to express his own happiness. He was then nearly pounced by his little sister who then jumped into his arms.

"We're real siblings again Xiba!" He, awkwardly, hugged her in return, restating her exclamation in his head.

"We were always real siblings…" she pulled away.

"But this time we get to bond with each other again! Hang out everyday like real siblings do!" he'd forgotten what Leixia was like when she was genuinely joyful… and he'd forgotten what true joy felt like, a warm, soothing feeling in his stomach, not a painful overflow of magma; that was anger… and he knew what anger felt like.

"Oh shit…" their mother bit her lip, "Your room!" the young woman turned to her new caretaker, she'd forgotten about her own room that she'd lived in for her first decade of life, "I know the skeleton key is around here somewhere…"

"Well that's fine; I can sleep on the couch-"

'No no; I'll do that, you take my room." The woman scratched her chin, she was thinking at how the room hadn't been cleaned in five years… how much vacuuming and dusting it needed.

"You sure mom?" Xiba chimed in, "Leixia can borrow my bed for tonight and I can use the couch-"

"It's a school night Xi—School! Ugh!" she smacked her face into her palm, "Damn it!" No one had thought of that situation yet; and how exactly were they supposed to obtain Leixia's records from Shanghai High hundreds of miles away? The young lady now felt even more guilty for her impulsive actions.

"Mother, I'm sorry…" she murmured nervously; her regretful choices had spoiled the moment… but would said moment exist had she _not _ran away? Only god knew apparently. Swiping her hand down her face, she sighed.

"Don't worry about that; mommy always takes care of it!" the two teenagers chuckled simultaneously; still even in their mid-teens did she refer to herself as 'mommy'. She wished they would still call her that once in a while and make her feel young. She had three years left of being in her thirties… let alone, her twenty-first birthday was only eighteen days before her son was born. Xianghua could've even sworn at times she was still in the 1980's… where every Chinese teenager wore plaid, western type shirts and long boots. She could still hear Xiba mocking her from the other room as he looked through her own childhood photo albums the summer before. Oh how the time flew by…

"Okay, so Leixia, I'm going to email your old school for your transcripts now and prey that they get here by this evening…" which they all knew was highly unlikely, "and after that, let's get you some new clothes." Xianghua scraped the car keys off of the counter. Leixia raised a brow and Xiba winced.

"New clothes?"

"Well, unless you want to wear those pink, frilly dresses from when you were ten-" the girl, still wearing Hwang's bulky blue jacket raced past her mother.

"Let's go!" she went to get her sneakers from the master bedroom and re-do her hair. As Xianghua giggled, she looked at her son.

"Want to come? The email will only take five minutes."

"No thanks." Xiba unzipped his jacket and removed it; the weather was getting warmer as the day progressed, though still nearly freezing, "I'm not one for shopping as you know."

"I promise I won't make you try anything on and say how handsome you look!" his mother blushed, earning a snort from him.

"It's fine, I gotta finish the college application anyway." He lied, it was already finished and lying neatly on his bedroom desk; waiting to be put in an envelope and shipped overseas. He felt bad when his mother pouted a bit.

"Alright, we won't be long… just let me send that email." She stood on her toes slightly and hugged around Xiba's neck. His sister trotted out of the room with a smile and noticed something… unnerving. As the mother and son embraced, Xiba had deep solemn in his eyes; a frown on his lips… wasn't he happy about the situation? For once, the odds were in their favor, "Things are finally turning around." The loving woman whispered tenderly before scooting quickly into the office and turning on the desktop. Only did the fifteen year old know that the grin on Xiba's fake was a fabrication, that something was uneasy within his subconscious.

"Xiba?" Leixia catechized, sauntering over to him, "What's wrong?"

He could ask himself the same question… "Nothing." He lied to himself, wishing he _had _an answer. The two pouted at each other, Leixia suspicious and Xiba, worried that what he was thinking about was true—was it happening again?

"Okey doke!" Their mother sang, "Let's get going! The mall's usually not crowded on Sundays." She was blissfully unaware of his son's strange reaction to this change of events.

"We'll be back…" the young woman muttered and left her brother with the single nod of his head. He waited for the door leading to the garage click locked… he heard the large door open listened to the feint engine of a car pull out and drive off. Xiba found himself soon falling back onto his bed, staring at the ceiling.

Had he taken his medicine the night before?

Yes! He did… right? Well he must've, if he'd taken nothing he would've been wide awake all night—no; that was if he accidentally took two.

Shit!

Xiba looked for his bottle, it was usually on his desk in plain sight. His mother had refilled his prescription, maybe she put it in a drawer when she brought it home yesterday he thought. Jerking upright, now starting to panic, he opened his drawer and pushed aside some CD's and other miscellaneous junk. His phone vibrated twice. Was it Leixia texting him what was wrong? Had Kilik unlocked her phone already? Opening it up, he read a text that was sent much earlier that morning from Natsu.

He felt bad not replying… but this was important. Shutting his phone and going into the other drawer—Xiba had never felt such relief. He picked up an orange bottle with what sounded like pebbles on the inside. The young man's memory wouldn't return, but he trusted himself that he took one the night before—he set it down directly within arm's reach of his bed—he remembered as a child he feared if he _ever _reached across to his desk from his bed, the hand of a demonic creature would seize his wrist. Just as the ripped adolescent began to shut the desk-drawer, he noticed a glare beam against the sunlight from his window… the glare from something shiny. Fumbling around the items with his fingers he felt something metal and cold and pulled it out… a key.

His sister's bedroom key…

"What the hell?" he said aloud; why on earth would it be hidden in _his _room? Maybe Xianghua knew that if it was in her room, she'd go nuts and unlock the door, then lock it again. The poor woman was an emotional train-wreck during that period of time. He scratched his head nervously, "No-no… it can't be." He thought to himself, once again unwittingly mumbling to the air. Curiosity at its best, Xiba exited his room and approached the door right out to his left. Now directly in front of him. The young man inhaled as he pushed the metal key in and twisted it. After hearing a click, he was frozen. It was as if a dead carcass awaited him, the carcass of the ten year old girly girl that had left everything she knew behind one morning.

Blowing out his breath, he shoved the wooden door open.

X-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-X

At the nearest thrift shops, since they were in a hurry, Leixia was rummaging through the clothing racks, waiting for something to jump out at her. The young lady found an aqua blue top with a lotus-themed pattern; not too loud, not too bland, "Hey mom, I like _this_!" she held it up against her body to present the attire, but her mother was distracted, trying to connect to internet on her phone. She mashed the button repeatedly, waiting for an email from Shanghai High. Leixia saw the flustered look on her face, "Mom?"

"Huh? Oh yeah, that's pretty…" she'd flicked her head up, then back down. The girl became agitated.

"You didn't really look…"

"I'm sorry!" she gasped, "My mind's really out of whack right now." Xianghua admitted. While what seemed to be an innocent comment to the mother, was an attack of guilt to the daughter. If she was this anxious over getting her into a new school on time, what would've happen had she found out she committed unlawful acts? Leixia frowned and put the shirt back on the rack, she gently held her mother's arm.

"Hey mom? Why don't we just go home for now and relax?" the cold weather wasn't helping. Xianghua wasn't just shivering; she was shaking from excitement and anxiety, "I mean, worse comes to worse I wear my school uniform and a pair of pajamas for a few days." Though Leixia wasn't very happy with that reasoning, she'd brought a smile to her mother's face. Xianghua at last closed her phone.

"Well, alright… how about we make some homemade hot chocolate like we used to?"

Leixia remembered that… oh god she remembered Xianghua's hot chocolate, fresh out of a steaming pot, sometimes adding marshmallows. Dear lord, she missed it… she now couldn't wait to return home and—home… that's right. Leixia was finally home. Why would she agree to going out and about in the first place anyway? They exited the small street and got back in the car. Leixia had forgotten what the towns of Beijing looked like—much less metropolis like compared to Shanghai, but still very beautiful. She gazed out the window, thinking about how wonderful her life would be… but not once did her father cross her mind; how lonely and unmotivated Kilik would become without his children to look after.

"Hey sweetheart, text your brother and tell him we're on our way home." She snickered as Leixia pulled her phone out from her jeaned pocket, "He'll probably be shocked with how quickly we got home!" Leixia smiled, struggling to compose the text; reading and writing in a moving car gave her motion sickness; she'd had this problem since childhood; Xiba didn't however, he'd read books on road-trips… Leixia remembered one particular occasion, on a trip to go camping and canoeing in Wuhan, a trip that would take over twenty-four hours nonstop, the five or six year old barely caught a glimpse of what her brother was reading and retched all over the back of the car. The family immediately pulled over and increased their arrival time by at least half an hour of cleaning and disinfecting.

Leixia remembered crying; not because she'd vomited, but because she'd done something wrong and 'ruined' their trip. Ironically, it was Kilik who continuously reassured her that it couldn't be helped and that they were going to have fun once they all arrived. Leixia remembered canoeing in the Yangtze River… the mountain gorges on both sides of them were beautiful. She was on one boat with her dad and Xiba and Xianghua in another. That was of course _after _the parents had to spend ten minutes reasoning with the two that they needed life-jackets.

"Ugh…" back in reality, Leixia was already nauseas; they came to a stop-light, "Mom, could you do this? I can't read in the car." She graciously took the phone from her.

"Oh, that's right." Quickly like a robot, she dialed the numbers into letters in a race against the red-light. Leixia had inherited motion sickness from her side of the family, but Xianghua didn't have it… which was odd because her older sister did, but Xiba didn't. It had skipped two generations instead of one this time. Xianglian had terrible motion sickness… it turned out that wasn't _all _she had…

Xiba was alerted that the girls were home by the sound of rattling keys from the garage door, "Xiba?" Xianghua called, he hurried and stuffed the vacuum back in the corner of the laundry room and blitzed back out, "We're…" they came to Xiba, partially sweaty and panting, "Home… what happened to you?"

"Nothing… why do you ask?" he joked, knowing he couldn't pull _this _one off, but he was eager for their reactions. The girls eyed each other then shrugged.

"We decided to come home since there was so much going on." His younger sister noted, they were headed for the kitchen to settle down and begin the hot cocoa making. The complete opposite direction of where he wanted them to go.

"Eh, but… don't you wanna see something first?" he pointed a finger, quickly earning their attention.

"See what?" the curious mother asked, removing her jacket, Leixia finished taking off her shoes. After a brief silence, Xiba waved his hand, gesturing them to come over. The ladies robotically followed the young man to the shut door at the end of the hall. There was a second pause…

…

"I found something, while you guys were gone." Their stomachs curled, they had an idea of what it was; "And I wanted to make sure it was perfect for my baby sister." He winked, receiving an eye roll in return. Gently turning the knob and nudging the door open, he stepped aside to make sure that she saw _everything._

There were no words, no gasps, nothing… only a deep, glassy stare with her amber eyes into her room… freshly cleaned, though it was rushed during the last bit of vacuuming. There was her bed with pink and red butterfly-themed sheets, the comforters were thick enough for winter. It was underneath a large, sunny window. The pale-pink paint had faded to white, but at least the walls hadn't peeled or cracked. Her small drawing table was still in-tact, but too tiny for—well, maybe she could still fit… but now wasn't the time for jokes. Her closet door was shut, but still full of many blouses and dresses from her fifth grade year.

Stepping onto the carpeted floors, now warm against her feet… Xiba smiled both happily and solemnly—Xianghua watched with shock. Unable to force the slightest sound, the young lady sat down on her bed, something that was propped between the pillows rolled down next to her; even Xiba hadn't noticed it.

It was a fuzzy panda that had a smile on its—her face; it was Meìmeì… Leixia's stuffed companion since she was two years old. She was happy to see Leixia after all these years. Inhaling through her nostrils, smiling with grave enchantment… she tightly hugged the panda and began to sob. Her heart was pounding as ease pumped through her body… she was finally where she wanted to be. Xianghua was entranced, holding her hand over her heart as Xiba gently closed to door, giving Leixia a moment to gather herself.

**Souls_&_Swords: To Neo-Kun and anyone else who knows my YouTube; the song "Xinglin Hupan" cues when Leixia enters her room for the first time.**


	20. Mend the Bond

It was a pale, cloudy day outside; the air was still crispy and icy to the skin. Whenever the wind blew, people could feel frost nipping at their cheeks. Leixia was walking alone to the train station of Beijing; she was shivering cold despite she was bundled up in a thick jacket and long jeans. It had been quite a while since she'd seen her father… she had been feeling guilty for the past few weeks; after abandoning him… she knew that the deal was they visit him supervised, but Leixia knew her father was better than that.

She had to make things right before continuing her new and more comfortable life. As she waited meekly for the train bells to alert the others, a piercing shadow casted over the petite girl's entire body. Someone was standing directly behind her, and it made her feel insecure, as she went to step out of the shadow and closer to the public, a voice whispered in her ear, "Did you miss me, cutie?"

"Hwa-!" she gasped, but a familiar man's paw muffled her scream and he grabbed her by the shoulder, crushing her down until she was on her knees. He had his usual cocky smile.

"Things got pretty nasty back home when I found out the cops were looking for me-!" Leixia smacked his hand away and breathed out for a moment.

"HELP ME-MM~!" in that instant, her scream had been so blood-curdling that there was no doubt someone would come aid her… but somehow, as if the world was deafened, no one batted an eyelash, some even glanced over at the struggling two and returned to their task. Hwang pushed the defenseless teenager onto her back and positioned his knees on each side of her body.

"You're curvier than I thought!"

Hwang had Leixia pinned down; her body tightly compressed on the cement below her, he sat on her torso, caressing her body with one hand and grabbing her breast forcefully with the other. She hadn't the strength to remove the man's claw-like grasp on her chest; when he was finished outlining her hour-glass body, he went for the other bosom, groping them both… he pressed his head into her neck, Leixia strained herself and pushed her head farther into the ground, searching behind her for help.

"GET HIM OFF OF ME!" she screamed out… something didn't feel quite right, but the terror was all too real for her to deny the situation, "PLEASE!" she shouted to the stranger passing directly by them, "GET HIM OFF OF ME~!"

Leixia then gasped, taking in so much air that her lungs nearly crumpled and withered into oblivion. Beams of moonlight were cast through her window blinds, she was clutching onto Meìmeì so tightly that she'd nearly claw the stuffing out; but she was safe; she was home and safe. Still holding in the over-intake of oxygen, she held her mouth agape, eyes moving to every corner of the room; her door was open, leading out to her new safe haven.

_Huff… _she closed her eyes and loosened her stiff body, _huff… _ the fifteen-year-old's nightmarish fantasy was over… it was only her first night in her own room for the first time in five years… of course her subconscious was still regretting the past. Leixia thought less of Hwang and her crimes… and more of Kilik. Why had her father let go of her so easily? Did he really hate her that much?

Or did he love her so much that he gave her what she had always wanted?

The latter idea tore guilt at Leixia's heart and the disturbed young woman sat up and tip-toed out to the hallway. Xianghua still hadn't heard anything back from Shanghai High, and was substituting at the night school… she had a lot on her plate as it was; Leixia didn't want to bother with calling her at work to talk about her worries. She had the proper backup mediator however. But what, what time was it? Xiba _did _have school the next day after all! And plus, this week was mid-term review week, and Leixia was already stressed out herself from her _own _school situations… why make his worse by taking away his sleep?

But Leixia was so frightened; so scared… she just needed the simple presence of someone dearly beloved next to her. Someone who would tell her everything would be alright in the end. She slowly, moving her hand in microscopic movements, turned the knob and pushed Xiba's door inward; he was stark silent asleep in his bed, on his stomach and facing the door slightly. She tried not to wake him up, but how odd would it be for him to find his sister asleep on the window seat the next morning? He'd probably tease her for being afraid of the dark, even if he knew that wasn't the reason why. But just seeing that after all he'd been through… the things they had to go through together… if _he _could sleep peacefully then surely she could too. She quietly turned around and went to walk out.

"Sis?" a voice groaned. Flinching, she whipped her head back to find that her brother's almond-shaped eyes were half-open and looking at her, "Why are you in here?" he didn't even sit up, his body and brain had to reinvigorate his usual thought processes and wake up the central nervous system. She fidgeted with her hands gingerly.

"I-I couldn't sleep." She admitted, "So I just came by to-"

"To sleep in my room like you used to?" the young man got up on his bottom with a smirk; Xiba remembered clear as day how whenever Leixia was afraid of the dark, she'd crawl next to her brother in bed so he'd protect her. He knew that this wasn't the case, especially with how awkward it would be at their ages, but he couldn't help but chuckle at the memory. It brought a slight grin to Leixia.

"Heh, no… but I was wondering—Xiba, what do you do when you… get upset at night?" her tongue twisted and fumbled as she tried to hide her past sin… her mind was a complete mess although she seemed properly composed. Her brother was confused—it didn't help that he was half-asleep either.

"What do you mean get upset?" he scratched at his red hair, "You mean have bad dreams?" he suggested, but his sister blushed; she hated shoving her problems onto others… especially when she needed them most. There was a dead silence… even the crickets were silent. Xiba could tell something was going through her mind that she didn't want to talk about, but he played along anyway, "If I ever get them I just—calm down and go back to sleep; they're not real." He had to think for a moment, ignoring the moment of jarring panic upon awakening.

"Don't you get scared that you'll have them again?" the young lady held her hands low in front of her body shyly; she knew of her brother's… _past issue_, but she knew nothing of his nightmares. Leixia hadn't a clue that this young man wish he had an answer for his _own _problems. Her brother frowned, feeling sorry for his sister; now he had guilt for not being able to aid her.

"Sometimes… but they usually only come once a night."

…

"Leixia, you don't have to be scared." He reassured, "It's over."

Why couldn't he have uttered the same words to himself when he'd—No, he couldn't think about that now; now was the time to comfort Leixia. The brown-eyed girl pushed part of her long hair behind her shoulder, now hanging mid-way down her back, a deep grimace on her child-like, beautiful face. Xiba sighed and nearly gave up; he couldn't make sense of why his sister wouldn't confide in him like she normally would.

"You know," she began, a slightly happier voice, as if she'd just remembered something, "When you first started coming over to dad's house, we used to see how long we could stay up while watching our favorite movies from we were kids." Xiba snorted, "Or, heh-ha!" she found herself laughing sprightly, "We used to _love _dubbing our own voices in T.V. shows!" how long had it been since they'd done that? It was there favorite hobby that summer; it was now winter.

"Tsh," Xiba chuckled, amused, "We'd mute the T.V., and once dad would walk in and ask what we were doing, we'd tell him we were watching a silent movie." It had been a year since they'd engaged in that silly, pointless activity just for their own entertainment. After giggling uncontrollably, Leixia shook her head.

"What happened to that old enthusiasm?" she asked with a smile, "We used to have so much fun doing nothing instead of just complaining about everything." Xiba had a gentle smirk, but he noticed his sister beginning to scowl again, "Well, before _I _started complaining about everything."

"Don't say that, we're teenagers; we're _supposed_ to complain!" the young man reminded, standing up. He'd stopped caring that it was a school night… one day of being fatigued and lethargic wouldn't kill him; at least he hoped. He had a sister to ease, "Tell ya what; how about we make fun of T.V. shows, for old time's sake?" Leixia didn't verbally respond, but the smile on her face gave him an answer.

X-x-X

In Shanghai, Kilik mumbled unintelligibly in his sleep, his head turning in every direction possible. He could hear his young daughter shouting for him… the voice of a child;

_**Daddy!**_

_** Daddyyy!**_

__He'd never heard his daughter in such peril before; she was no ordinary crying, it was a screech, as though something demonic had her. Where was she? Where was _he_? Kilik had opened the bedroom door; not the one across the hall from him, but the old one; Leixia's first and should-have-been-only bedroom. The father didn't find any of her old dolls, nor did he find a room with pink wallpaper and butterfly-themed bed-sheets. But he found a forest growing inside of her room. The man, completely unsuspecting that he was dreaming, stepped in. the ground beneath him was pure soil. The sky was basked with an eternal sunset… at least it was eternal at first.

When he first heard his daughter's shrieks for help, the sky became jet-black; no moon, no stars. He couldn't see anything, but he could hear her voice in all directions, his heart paced faster and faster as his fear increased as to where she was. He tried to call out to her with the same blood-curdling tone, but no sound could escape his throat.

_**Save me daddy! **_Her voice cut through the glass walls of his sanity, she sounded as if someone was trying to gag her with a rope to shut her up. _**Why didn't you protect me?!**_

Kilik then jerked upright in a cold sweat, trying to gulp the air around him. Heaving from his child's last and unanticipated remark, he narrowed his then-wide eyes. He'd never woken up like this before… at least not when he was accompanied by one of his children. Why didn't he protect her? The fear and doubt of his capability as a father in her voice had seemed so real; and he knew why; he asked himself that question once every day.

No more than once… and he never missed a day of what he could have done differently.

_It wasn't my fault…_ he persuaded himself, or at least tried,

_I didn't know…_

X-x-X

Since Xianghua wouldn't arrive home until much later, the two walked out into the living room, bringing a blanket from the closet in their mother's room (spare bed-sheets were kept in there for when others had to be washed) and both plopped on the couch. They didn't bother turning on any lights, the television was blinding enough. The floors were freezing on their feet; the marble floors were like ice to them, Xiba barely made it to the refrigerator to make a glass of water. When Leixia had switched the set on, a documentary about orca whales and their mistreatments at aquariums was on, but Xiba wasn't aware that she had switched it and moved onto figure ice skating.

He sat back down; the couch was large enough for two, maybe three, people to sleep on. They both had their legs up and were curled up like kittens readying for a nap. The young man, confused and drowsy, didn't realize the channel change, "Uh… are the whales gonna come up and eat them or something?"

"This is figure ice skating you idiot!" Leixia laughed hysterically. Xiba sputtered then laughed himself; maybe he shouldn't talk when he was tired.

"Oh!" he began to laugh louder than he had in a while, "That makes more sense, 'damn those humans who abuse us and now they dance on our heads!'" he went into the dubbing, Leixia then clutched her stomach and heaved, laughing noiselessly, "'We will have our revenge and eat them all!'" Xiba exaggerated the emotions of the orcas. The young woman felt herself nearly crying from her hilarity. The joy of laughing at nothing with her brother is what made her delirious… and that she could now do this every day, "You're turn~!" he chuckled.

Leixia watched the flamboyant and graceful twirls and jumps of the skaters, how interesting it was to see in slow motion, "I dance like that whenever I see free food; 'Yay! Free… food!" she timed it for whenever the skater would jump or raise her arms. It wasn't quite as humorous as Xiba's misconception, but enough to earn a chuckle out of him.

"I still like the idea of the whales jumping out and eating them." He laughed, knowing the way CEOs of aquarium theme parks often have it coming with the way they treated their animals. Leixia snorted and was able to calm down for a moment. Xiba reached over and took the remote off of the blanket she was bundled up in, "But let's look for something serious so I can fall asleep." He wasn't kidding either; it was two in the morning and he needed his rest for this week. He switched to a made-for-television movie that was mid-way over already. Resting his head on the arm of the sofa, Xiba prepared for his eyes to get heavier and heavier so he could conk out again. As Leixia forced herself to get into the movie, she continuously looked back and forth between the atrocious film and her brother; he was doing this just so she'd feel safe… so she'd cheer up and sleep more comfortably, despite needing rest himself.

Leixia gently tapped her fingers over her heart, beginning to feel choked up—she never realized how grateful she should be—how blessed she was to have a brother who cared, to have a brother she was close to. She couldn't even think of one fight they'd had—except the occasions where he was trying to help her and she was too stubborn to accept it. But that was all in the past now—everything that had led up to this was in the past… she hoped. With a smile, Leixia curled up in the blanket and began to black out on the fuzzy sofa; she could forget her troubles, for at least a little while.


	21. Confiding

"Come on, time to wake up." Xianghua lightly smacked Xiba's arm. She'd found her two children asleep on the couch when she arrived home late. Only a soft groan slipped from his throat as his body shuddered awake—not ready for his rest to be interrupted. Leixia only stirred, she'd unwittingly kicked off the blanket over the night. Xianghua wasn't in the mood; she was exhausted from her night class, realized she'd have to wake up early to make sure Xiba woke up in time, and if she could squeeze some time to nap in, work on a new project for the University. At least Laba was coming up… the two would have school off that day, and for Dongzhi later in the month, the kids got an entire week off! But that was later, this was now, "Xiba, it's review week, you know you can't miss anything!"

The young man lazily rolled onto his back, he had yet to open his eyes, "I know, I know."

"You better hurry, or else you won't have time to take a shower. ~" Xianghua yawned, patting her mouth. Leixia blinked her eyes and stretched her arms and legs. She must've fallen back asleep for a few more minutes, for she blinked and she saw her brother leaving his room in his uniform with his hair partially wet. He walked out into the living room to grab the breakfast 'on the go' their mother had prepared. The young lady didn't say anything, but she watched as Xianghua kissed his cheek and patted his shoulder, "I'll see you later."

"You too. Later Leixia." He called.

"Mhm…" she grunted, sitting up straight for the first time that morning. She yawned softly, unable to help the small moan that accompanied it.

"Morning Leixia." The mother sat down next to her with a cup of tea. The girl's hair was a rat's nest, but she smiled.

"Good morning, mommy." She play-talked. Xianghua sipped the warm beverage, trying to stay awake for a few seconds more, "How was work last night?" she pulled the blanket back over her mid-section.

"It was fine. I got to teach the students new stroking techniques and tomorrow I have to bring in a finished acrylic art-piece for the staff to use as an example." With stress in her bloodshot eyes, she sipped (gulped) some more tea.

"Wow… you're a busy bee aren't you?"

"Well, I've got to keep a roof over our heads after all. And I don't want Xiba getting a job yet; he's got school and college to focus on." Leixia scratched the side of her head, wondering if she should remind Xianghua of _her _school situation or not… but she had so much on her plate already, and now she had _two _kids to support—although she was grateful for such an ordeal after five years. Maybe Leixia could drop out; with her grades, she wouldn't be picking up anytime soon… she could work full time and help her mother support the family. But what could she do? Most jobs probably wouldn't take a fifteen-year-old dropout without any credentials whatsoever. Nothing to put on a resume, not an area of specific talents… she'd be lucky if she could hold down becoming a hotel maid. After slowly processing all of that through her head, the girl went to open her mouth, "By the way, I checked my email last night, your school records should arrive sometime before Noon; so today, I'm going to take you to Xiba's school and enroll you."

Leixia was stunned; not that Xianghua had suddenly resolved that issue, but that she'd be going to school with her brother again. Even at the time of the divorce Xiba was already ahead of Leixia—he'd entered Middle School while Leixia was still a fourth grader. He was in seventh grade by the time he was eleven—turning twelve that April—Leixia hadn't been on the same campus with her brother in almost six school years. Still she remembered crawling out of the backseat of the car and staring through the back window until her mother and brother were no longer in view, thus began the long fifteen hour drive to her new home, "Exciting, huh?" Xianghua grinned, snapping the girl back into reality.

"Oh um yeah, very! Will my classes be the same?" she added.

"I'm not sure, there's a crud-load of students at Xiba's school, and they barely have enough teachers as it is! Who knows what classes are full and aren't." she tapped her nails on her glass cup, "I'm not sure if you'll have any classes with Xiba considering-"

"Well, I'm okay with that, as long as I get the same lunch with Xiba, I'm okay." The one thing almost every high-schooler dreaded, not having anyone to sit with on the first day of school. And a relative was normally only a backup if a friend was absent. But Xiba at this point _was _her only friend.

"Mm, that should be easy. For now, you just wash up and relax until his school emails me back, okay?" She kissed her forehead, letting out the _Mmwha~ _sound before walking to her home office. Leixia just didn't understand her mother sometimes; even when she was exhausted and _knew _she needed a break, she still worked herself like a show horse. Everyone was entitled to a nap once and a while, heaven knew Leixia gave herself one often, but not for Chai Xianghua. Hard-work was important in her family—it was important that she work for the family, even when she was in her teenage years. Her older sister Xianglian had brought shame to the Chai family… and their father, Kong Xiuqiang had pressed the young woman to redeem their family by proving otherwise. Xianghua was the one who paid the price of her sister's mistakes in the end… she was the one who ended up being slave-driven by their own father. Yet for some reason, even now, she loved Xianglian as her dearest older sister.

But that no longer mattered… Xianglian was gone.

X-x-X

"Poke!" Natsu greeted her crush by (obliviously) jabbing his shoulder with her pink nail. He snorted, still rubbing at his eyes like he had been all morning.

"Good morning to you too." The blonde took her seat next to him, crossing her legs. Everyone was waiting for the teacher to arrive, normally later than her students.

"Did you get any of my texts yesterday?" she asked curiously; she didn't want to seem demanding, but Natsu had been shaking with anticipation all day for a response. A sudden jolt of realization hit the boy when he remembered the mental note he'd made to reply to her… yesterday.

"I did… sorry, but yesterday was actually a… really crazy day." He knew he was completely justified, but the lady raised a brow and awaited his response.

"Oh really?" she interjected, "What happened?"

How could he put this simply…? He scratched the back of his head, "Well… my sister's kind of living with me now."

"What?" she screeched high-pitched, but she was delighted for the young man, "That's awesome-!"

"Shh!" he didn't like being the center of attention _at all_. Even if it was just a simple conversation, he didn't want anyone but the person he was conversing with to hear it. Natsu blushed and bit her lip.

"Sorry," she whispered, "But that's fantastic!" he chuckled, forming a grin on his face. Natsu didn't want to blush in front of him and awkwardly giggle, but it was happening; why did he have to be so handsome? Would she be acting this way if the young man had been less attractive to her? She covered her mouth to hide her embarrassed snickering, but Xiba either chose to ignore it, or wasn't quite picking up any signals.

"It is, but it feels… weird." The sixteen-year-old admitted.

"I bet," Natsu recomposed herself, "After not living with her in a while, it must be crazy-"

"I mean it doesn't feel _right_."

…

"What?" said Natsu.

"I mean, it took me so long to adjust to it just being me and my mom… but now Leixia's here… and while I'm really happy about it; I just… I can't accept it for some reason." It was complicated, Xiba just didn't understand how his mind worked—God knew that himself, and Xiba wished he understood every emotion he felt and every thought he'd think but he didn't.

"It's just an adjustment period…" the young lady licked her lips, "I went through the same thing when my mom died." Xiba widened his eyes, remembering that the girl could understand his troubles to an extent, "You're aware of what's happening around you… and the suddenness of it; one minute this is your reality and the next _this _is your reality… it's a whole new process of living." The way she spoke, it was like she was some sort of psychic guru. But there was such bitterness in her tone, such a solemn symphony. Xiba didn't want to make her think of the tragedy again, but he felt the necessity to ask.

"Did you sleep alright last night?"

Natsu undid her ponytail, setting aside her hair clip and redoing the rubber-band, "I slept fine." She replied monotonously, "No bad dreams or anything if that's what you're thinking." She was flattered that the young man was even concerned, the worried look in his eyes would not cease, so she clarified, "It's just sometimes the hurt goes away for a while… but sometimes it comes back… it's only been a year, so…" her voice trailed off, she finished fixing her tawny ponytail.

"Well no, I understand what you're saying…" Xiba held his mouth agape, was he about to open up to her? Without even giving himself time to think about what he would say, his mouth spoke, "Sometimes bad thoughts come and go... it's like a tsunami;" the chatter of other students luckily didn't make his conversation stand out, "Sometimes I just feel numb and perfectly normal, like when the water's receding… and then the tidal wave of…" he bit his lip, looking for what the psychiatrist had called it, "Depression hits and you can't stop it, you don't see it coming either. It's just how nature works sometimes." He'd told her one of his most valuable secrets… and now he couldn't take it back. But the girl was partially confused.

"Bad thoughts?" she raised her tone slightly, now suspiciously befuddled, "What are bad thoughts?" they were what his mother's psychiatrist called them, he gave Xiba a name for them two years ago.

"Just…" he kept his head low, looking away with his eyes, just talking about it got him choked up, "Like you want to sleep all day," he dumbed it down, "You want to close your eyes and never wake up." He looked her in the eyes, pursing his lips.

Natsu could feel it… he was reaching out to her. And now it was her turn to take his hand.

"Like…" she gulped, "Dying, Xiba?"

…

There was a dreadful silence between them; the chit-chat of the others was the only thing keeping the two from breaking down with each other. He didn't respond, he sighed with red, teary eyes and looked away. Natsu couldn't help but stare, stare at the poor, lost soul who needed someone to listen and comprehend. She rolled her eyes downward to think when she noticed something—Xiba's jacket sleeve had fallen back slightly, she saw on his wrist three horizontal scars… only they looked fresh. She quickly whipped her head back up and stared at him. Xiba caught her and knew what had happened. He flipped his hand the other way and turned to face the front of the class. The teacher had arrived.

"Heh!" he chuckled nervously, "It's nothing… just a little emotional sometimes." His blood pressure couldn't help it and his face reddened from sorrow, his eyes were pure glass mirrors. Natsu wanted to scoot her desk over and wrap her arm around him to remind him he had a friend. But all the useless girl could do was stare. She was useless.

She was _useless_.

Folding her hands together and holding them in front of her face, she teared up, going into a pattern of looking back and forth between the chalk board, and her dearest, troubled friend. Her lips were quivering and pouting; meanwhile, Xiba had one hand balled into a partial fist against his head while the other wrote avidly, trying to keep from looking at the faces around him. He sniffled; he was only a hair-strand away from another… incident.


	22. Anxiety

Leixia finished blow-drying her hair and dressing in some of her mother's old clothes; the pink sweater and long jeans Xianghua wore when _she _was a teenager fit her like a glove. She was thankful her mother no longer had any 'Western' gear from the 1980s; she'd never know why wearing tight jeans with flannel shirts and boots during the summer was a fashion statement. Xianghua was organizing the records with one hand, and fingering the car-keys with another. The girl felt awkward about the fact she'd been wearing her mother's clothes for the past two days—her only other option was the girly dresses or skirts that no longer fit in her bedroom closet.

"Hey mom," she started to pull her hair back, "Do you think after we get the school thing figured out, we could buy me some clothes?" It was more of a necessity than a greedy want at this point, as she had to have more to wear than her school uniform and a long shirt for pajamas every day.

"Yeah yeah, sure." Xianghua rambled, making sure all of the health and physical records in Leixia's paperwork were correct, and that she had her _new _proof of residency. Her daughter knew she'd have to remind her once or twice anyway—her mother was always a bit ditzy like that. She was debating whether she wanted her hair in braids or not; but that usually required a mirror, especially since two of her braids were high and looped around, meanwhile the other two hung loose like typical braids.

Ponytail it was. Not that it would matter. But the rushed woman tapped her daughter's shoulder and dashed past her, "Come on! I don't want to wait to late; I gotta get home and get back to work!" Leixia just didn't understand why she swallowed her pride and asked old family friends for help—if there was anyone left that was. The only reason Xianghua and Kilik were allowed to have two children was because both of their parents on both sides were long passed by the time Leixia was born. They had their aunt for a good while—but for some reason after a bizarre visit from Chai Xianglian in 2000, not only did the sisters never speak again but Xianglian died from a heroin overdose.

It wasn't even the actual drug that killed her; she was lying on her back while she slept, cold-cocked knocked out. Xianglian began to salivate, so thick and course from the drug she'd injected… the poison swimming in her veins was trying to smoothly drool its way out of her mouth but it couldn't rise—there was no leverage. The woman literally suffocated to death on her own saliva. She had been asleep at least; she was probably at ease and unaware she was dying. But the investigator that had reported to the family she was dead, he said her eyes were wide open, and her skin was pale as snow.

Xianghua blamed herself for the longest time—how sudden it was; completely unaware that she was on drugs, let alone possessed any! Xianglian had asked her younger sister to stay with her for a few days until she could get her life back in order—her boyfriend had left her, she had yet to find a job, and didn't have a dime of her own to pay for her university classes. Xianghua had refused since she already had a family of her own.

"I could've turned her over, then she wouldn't have choked!" The woman bawled hysterically Leixia remembered. Those were the only intelligible words the seven year old could figure out that day. The two children only cried because of how much pain their mother was in; they weren't well acquainted with their aunt, nor did they understand what was going on in the first place. Children only knew when something was wrong, people would cry. But when something was _really _wrong, the grown-ups would cry. And when they saw Mommy crying, it was their hell. And now to this day, there _was _no one Xianghua could ask for help… she wouldn't even send her kids to work.

Kilik probably would've, but that's because he thought Leixia was 'capable' he'd say. She was barely passing as it is but that was without any of her effort being put into school. Today, everything would start fresh, everything would change.

"Ah, Chai Xianghua!" the principal, much less intimidating than Shanghai High's head administrator, "Nice to see you again." Xianghua was only well-known by the staff because she'd done a few motifs for the school in the past years; before either one of her kids were in Middle School. They bowed, meanwhile Leixia fiddled with her sleeves awkwardly, "Nice to see you again… who's this?" he cheerfully quizzed.

"Sir, I'd like you to meet my daughter, Yan Leixia." The proud woman held her daughter's shoulder, only embarrassing her more. She hated being shown off.

"Oh, so one of our best students has a sister huh?" so Leixia already had a name in the principal's eyes, _Chai Xiba's Sister_, "Are you going to be in high school next year?" And _that_—being mistaken for a middle schooler—was worse.

"Actually, that's why we're here today." The two sat down in one of three chairs in front of his desk, "See, my daughter just moved back in with me over the weekend from Shanghai."

"I see…" he scratched his chin.

"She just started high school this year," she pulled out the paperwork, "And we'd like to transfer her from Shanghai High to, erm, here." She fumbled. The principal with his burly hands grabbed the papers that were piled into a folder, including her medical records and her proof of residency (which in this case were the contracts Xianghua signed from Kilik).

"Hmm…" the bell rang, students were now leaving from the first half of their second class to lunch. The AP Physics room was nearby, unbeknownst to the two, but as Xiba walked past the principal's office like he always did, the young man did a double take; not anticipating his mother and sister to be in there so suddenly. He could accurately guess what was going on, but he wanted to make sure everything was well. He knocked on the window.

It only caught Leixia's attention; Xianghua was praying that everything they needed was in the man's hands, and the principal was going through each piece of typed work. With a curious look, Xiba raised a thumb, earning the 'a-okay' sign in return from Leixia. With that settled, she watched as her brother disappeared in the crowd of uniformed students, "Okay," the man cleared his throat, "So Yan Leixia, you are in tenth grade, born on July 7, 1993… so you're fifteen, correct?"

"Yes sir." She straightened out her posture, as short as she already was, slouching in front of her (possibly) new principal maybe wasn't a good idea.

"And according to these, you were in the higher level courses, I guess intellect runs in your family, huh?" he chuckled, making Leixia blush.

"I admit, my grades have slipped recently… That was my own fault though."

"Well, the quarter's about to end, so a fresh start is coming up—and you have two years to make up for that, remember." The kind principal reassured. With hope, Xianghua leaned forward.

"So, will Leixia be able to-"

"To attend Beijing Number 55 Middle and High School? Certainly!" The girls' jaws dropped with happiness.

"Haha!" Xianghua squealed, hugging Leixia from the side.

"But there' still a few things we need to settle before you become a dragon…" he pulled out a purple sheet of paper.

"Huh?" Leixia was confused.

"Dragons are the school mascot." Xianghua giggled. The girl should've been able to figure that out, but she was so ecstatic that she'd be at school with her brother now… how well everything was turning out to be.

"Let's see…" he looked back and forth between Leixia's courses at Shanghai, and the Beijing No. 55 course selection-sheet, "Alright, we've got for your core classes, Advanced Algebra II, Advances History of the Ming Dynasty…" so far so good, "Huh, our AP Physics class is full." Well, there goes the one class she could've had with Xiba, and she hadn't a clue what his electives were other than psychology, which was only a junior or senior level class.

"Oh…" she was disappointed, but Xianghua however, remained cheerful.

"What are her alternatives?"

"Well, so far the only Advanced-level science that's free right now is Chemistry." Leixia sneered; she hated chemistry… but not as much as she hated biology. She'd only signed up for AP Physics because her only other option was either Environmental or Marine Biology.

"I took that when I was in middle school, sir, and I passed." Xianghua could hear the whine in her voice—she was hoping Leixia would keep up her mature act.

"Well, we don't have any other options right now sweetheart." She reminded.

"Well, it says she passed the End of Year exam; so in that case, you won't have to retake the test." With the pointless, four hour test out of the way, Leixia bit her lip.

"What about the class?" She knew she couldn't smuggle her way out of chemistry, but what would an entire year of hard work be put to?

"Well, unless you do any better this year, it says here you passed with a ninety-three percent, your grade will remain the same." He smiled, "I'm sure since you took this just a year ago, this class should be a breeze." He laughed, bringing a smile to the mother and adolescents faces.

"We're so happy that this worked out." the calligraphy artist stood up, "What about her uniform?"

"Ah yes… what size is she?"

X-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-X

The new family of three gathered around for supper that evening—a breeze of snow greeted Beijing that afternoon, but it ceased within an hour. Everyone was bundled up in warm sleep-gear, "So, you're taking photography and framing as an elective?" her red-haired brother asked, graciously accepting his mother's spicy noodle dish.

"Yup!" Xianghua took her seat.

"Fancy… I took that _my _first year of high school." He slurped up the noodles carefully, just as Leixia finished swallowing her own.

"Was it fun?"

"If you're into that kind of stuff—I thought it was boring." Leixia snorted, she remembered her brother was more into the psychology field, "It's not an easy A though—you really gotta push it and do work." Leixia nearly choked on her cup of water; that had been the reason _why _she signed up for it.

"Really…?" her pretty face contorted into disgust. Xianghua nodded, since her son was chowing down.

"Ooh yeah, Xiba was sometimes there after school trying to finish group projects."

"Mm!" he quickly grunted to get his sister's attention, "Notice…" he slurped up the last bit, "She said _group _projects!" Xianghua rolled her eyes and snorted, beginning to dine on her own meal, "When I worked by myself I was just fine!"

"Tsh, you always hated group projects!" Leixia twirled up her noodles, "In fact, you hated partner-projects!" she remembered always complaining when someone had to come over in elementary school to finish a project when in reality, Xiba would rather do the project himself and let the other write his name on it.

"Yeah… you know I've never been the best with people." He kept a smile on his face, eyes focusing on his food. Xianghua snickered.

"You got that from your father and I; notice our jobs usually only require us to work at home." Xiba held his white smile for a moment, but then it slowly evaporated.

"Heh, yeah…" he stopped eating, just fiddling at the food with his chopsticks. Leixia wasn't noticing anything when their mother swallowed and hesitantly cleared her throat.

"Xiba, what's wrong?" her large brown eyes narrowed with worry, and now Leixia, who's cheeks were full of the spicy food, was getting an odd vibe. He zoned out for a moment, focusing on his lap. What had just happened? His mind had flipped a switch and all the sudden he was feeling… oh god… was it coming back?

Where were his pills? Xiba shook his head and scooted his chair back, "Where are you going?" The mother called out.

"I'm fine, I just remembered I have more homework to do." The copper-eyed teenager shut the door behind him, not even stopping to look back at his family—how worried they were. Leixia was at a loss of words about how to react, but in front of her was her mother… squeezing one of her hands with the other, she always rubbed her hands or squeezed them when she was apprehensive. Her eyes were as clear as crystals; she was thinking farther back than two years, farther than five years, but to eight years; what had started all of this madness.

"He's just compulsive like that mom." Leixia tried to ease her, "You know he _has _to have all his work done before he can relax."

"Mhm," she pursed her lips, trying to feign a smile, "I know."

…

Leixia hated seeing her mother worried—anything that hurt a mother, it hurt the child too. The girl said nothing; instead, she looked back at her plate of hot food. Xianghua picked up her own, and her son's plate, approaching the sink. No words were said, but in place were the loud sounds of clanging when the plates were dropped into the sink and the water was turned on high.

**柴希霸**

** Chai Xiba**

His pill bottle said, his companion since he was fourteen. The pebble-like tablets inside rattled as he turned it, studying it, looking at the small, blurred font about any disclaimers or instructions. Had he taken any yet? Let alone the night before? He was so caught up with everything else… God, what the hell was with his memory when it came to medicine? He pushed his hair back from stress of trying to remember. God damn it; it only ended up with him being frustrated, having a headache, and being frustrated with the headache.

"Fuck…" he cringed to himself, squeezing his eyes shut—he'd give himself a migraine trying to remember if he'd taken a pill or not. Xiba slowly went to unscrew the cap, that popping sound it made once it came off was sickening to his ears… it reminded him constantly that he was different. He observed the bottle intensely… it could either help him, or hurt him…

He narrowed his eyes looking at the three remaining oval tablets inside…

His mind drew a blank; nothing crossed his mind at all except for what was in front of him and that only _he _had the power now. Once in his mouth, there would be no turning back—what the hell was he thinking?! Jolting back a bit from what his own mind had just considered, he slammed the bottle back onto his desk; it rotated and wavered a bit until gravity helped steady it. Those thoughts again…

The _bad thoughts_.

But why? Why him? Why when he should be the happiest he's ever been right now? When he had a mother who loved him, and a sister he was close to… He couldn't think anymore… all Xiba wanted to do was sleep; and on that cold night, he couldn't bundle up in his warm covers… he didn't deserve it for not being happy that his sister was home. He lied on his bed, over the sheets. The noises of the winter night surrounded him. Closing his eyes Xiba, slowly, pulled his knees to his chest then enfolded them in his arms. He simply lied there without tossing or turning in the womb of his bed, and he cradled himself until his body gave in, until he was dreaming.


	23. Second First Day of School

Natsu laid sleepless on her bed—her own voice screeching in her subconscious;

_**ĪEEE!**_

In front of her eyes she was back in Japan, everything was overexposed with light—for some reason the sun was shining its brightest that day.

_**AAUUUUGGGHHH! OKA-SAN!**_

___Lets get her out of here._

_**Īe! Oka-san! ONEGAI OKA-SAN!**_

She was placed flat on her back on the stretcher, everything was blinding and she felt dizzy—she couldn't see out of one eye, her heart was racing.

So white… the hospital sheets and walls were so white…

She remembered the oxygen mask they put over her mouth and nose—she'd need it with how much she was hyperventilating, gulping the air now filled with smoke. After that her lungs couldn't take much more; finally losing her ability to scream, she sipped the incoming life-support. Her face was wet, covered in tears, sweat, and secretion.

She didn't pass out and calm down like the ambulance assistant hoped she would; she couldn't, _Oka-San…_

Numbed and alone with her memory, Natsu forced herself to remain comfortable on her side—since then, she hated being on her back, she hated the color white, she hated the smell of smoke. Not to say she wasn't _always _like this, but now she had a valid reason. It had taken three weeks for the black eye and scar than ran across her nose and down her cheek to vanish. None of her friends understood; they never knew someone who'd witnessed their mother die. They slowly drifted away from her, leaving the poor Japanese teenager to be a loner—to have no one to confide in; not even her father, who was more grief-stricken than anyone in the family.

**Hongō, Tokyo, Japan – Autumn, 2007**

Asa was bawling in front of the large photo of the beautiful woman, Chie, at the funeral service—Taki had flown back in from China to comfort Natsu. Her father Asa was in hysterics, on his knees bawling into a tissue. His daughter was kneeling over him, trying to comfort him, "_Otou-san_…" his wails were muffled into his tissue, she gently rubbed his back, "We can get through this-"

"This is **your**fault!" he struck her arm away, shocking everyone in the room, but none more than his daughter, who's eyes were wide and shaky. Never had she heard such a tone from her strict-but-loving father.

"_N-Nani…?"_

"Asa!" Taki shouted, rushing to aid the fragile girl. She held her shoulders, as if protecting her from the man, "How could you say such a thing?!" there was rage in her amber eyes, he stood up nearly twice her height, and Taki was stretching five-foot-seven!"

"Natsu's been the one stressing Chie out for the past few months! She was always making a fuss!" he glared into his child's frightened green eyes, "If you had just sucked it up like a grown lady would have, she wouldn't have been emotional when she was driving!"

"_Baka!_" Taki rebutted, "This was no one's fault! Shit accidents happen! And you _dare _blame it on your sixteen year old daughter?!" Natsu couldn't handle it; she stared at the picture of her beautiful, dark-haired mother, smiling like she always was. Taki had the words right on her tongue, "_Anatadeshita! Sore ga kanojo!" _

_ It was you! You killed her!_

But she couldn't cause even more troubles for the poor adolescent in her arms—for at least Taki was going back to the university after this; Natsu had a year or two left of putting up with this nonsense, "All I know that is it should've been **you **who died!" he glared at his daughter.

"ASA!"

"Urgh!" Natsu shoved Taki away and ran out of the funeral home. It was the longest aisle she'd ever ran down—at least it felt. The other family-friends and relatives watched the poor girl take off in heavy streams of tears.

_Click! Chink!_

Natsu's convulsive thoughts were blissfully halted when she heard the front door unlock and close, _Haff! Haff! Haff! _She heard Takara pant and her little paws charge across the living room, "Hey there pretty." Taki quietly greeted the canine as Natsu quickly pulled her hair out her ponytail and quickly kicked off her shoes—she had been so distracted by what her and Xiba had talked about today, thus leading to the horrid memories, that she'd forgotten she was supposed to be asleep by now! It was three in the morning, just the time Taki was usually job as a third-shift nurse. Natsu then hastily pulled the bed-sheets over her, hopefully able to hide the fact she was still in her uniform, "Let me check on my girl…"

The tawny-haired teenager feigned being asleep, facing away from her bedroom door as it cracked open, the loving woman poked her head in and saw what looked like a sleeping young woman. Satisfied, and tired, she gently closed the door back. But Natsu was befuddled; she'd just heard Taki call her 'her girl'… she really did love her like a daughter just as she loved Taki like a mother. But then why did she get aggravated whenever Natsu called her 'mom'?

Maybe it was because Taki felt like she wasn't worthy of nurturing for her late best friend's child… ever since child-hood they agreed to be each-other's children's god-mothers… but Taki _never _anticipated 'adoptive mother'. It was hard on Natsu for losing her mother—but she tried to imagine how hard it was for someone losing their dearest friend who lived right next door for over twenty years. Natsu couldn't get out of her head her own screams, the way she'd yelled "mother" over and over.

But what she had been thinking about just before hand was that she _never _wanted to scream "Xiba" the way she did.

X-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-X

Beijing was at last participating in winter head-on; a thin blanket of snow covered the streets and ice coated the bare branches. All sparkling until the sunlight—that is once the overcast cloud allowed the sun to peak from behind them every once in a while. However, this wasn't enough (yet) to keep the kids out of school. Xianghua hadn't seen her son since he rushed to his room the night before, but she was sure she was still able to wake him up for school. Gently rubbing at her hands because it was so cold, she prepared herself for the icy tough of the doorknob and turned, then pushed.

When she entered, there wasn't a stir of sound and barely any light from behind the closed blinds. Xiba was lying on his side over his sheets and curled up into a ball. He didn't move.

…

Not even a breath was taken—Xianghua's heart skipped a beat, for she was frozen from fear, "Xiba?"

…

"Mm…" his head turned and his eyes lazily opened, "Yeah?"

Xianghua's heart pounded, a frantic smile on her face, "Oh, hehe!" she gasped, placing her hand against her heart to steady it, never did she know what relief felt like until now, "I was just waking you up for school." He sat up and stretched his arms, then going to scratch his mess of red hair.

"Mm-kay, thanks." There was drowsiness in his voice, Xianghua was still calming down from the near anxiety-attack, "It's Leixia's first day today, right?"

"Yeah, she has to get her schedule from the guidance counselor this morning; you'll show her around, right?"

"Yeah, of course." He stood up, in need of a rejuvenating hot shower, as he approached the bedroom door, his mother blocked him. She stared intensely, "What's wrong?" Without another word, Xianghua held him tightly; embracing him so close to her body like the little boy he once was.

"I love you…" she whispered, "You're my baby boy." She pulled back and kissed his forehead, standing on her toes. What was with her all the sudden? Had he worried her _that _much last night? Feeling guilty, he gently moved some of her bangs out of her face with a smile.

"I love you too." He tried to ease the woman's heart, squirming with worry, "I gotta hurry and shower now. Tell Leixia she's gotta hurry."

"Mhm."

Leixia wore long navy blue jeans with her new school shirt and jacket. The girls weren't required to wear skirts during the winter time or, to be specific, when the weather was below 70°F. That didn't stop her from shivering and fidgeting all the way to and from the subway station to the large school. Xiba escorted her to the counselor's office where they awkwardly stood in the hall waiting for her to bring the printed schedule.

"Now Xiba," they scanned the paper carefully, "Is the scheduling here the same as Shanghai?" at Leixia's school, rather than block scheduling, it was rotation scheduling; Instead of three two hour classes and one half-hour class each day; they began with all seven classes the first day, then each day it would change. The first Tuesday of the year was all classes except their seventh, Wednesday all except for sixth, Thursday except for fifth, and the wheel went on.

"No, we have odd days and even days," Xiba dumbed down the system, "Like we go to our seventh class every day, but other than that on odd days we go to our first, third, and fifth and even, second, fourth, and sixth." He was walking her to the tenth grade building—when it was first built it only consisted of the new sophomores, but now it was pretty mixed. Leixia's classes were close to each other, which eased her.

"Okay, when's lunch?"

"Half way through the third class." He pulled out his phone and checked the time. He looked shocked and quickly slammed it closed, "Shit, I gotta go!" his first even day class was all the way across campus, and the first bell had already rang.

"Wait! Where do you sit at lunch?!"

"I'll find you!" he called, already out of sight. Gripping her paper nervously, awkward about starting right in the dead middle of the year—let alone one of the most stressful weeks of the year, Leixia gulped. But the young woman gathered her nerve and entered the classroom casually, as if she already belonged there. After surviving the first class which consisted of the teacher helping her figure out what was going on, girls giving her awkward looks and boys raising their eyebrows at her, she walked to her next class, which was only upstairs in the building. Partial anxiety still hit the young lady as she was crowded by a plethora of students, shorter than almost all of them, the pretty teenager feared of getting literally trampled by the stampede of kids. She hoped Xiba meant what he said when he'd meet her at the building for lunch. She did not want to wander around the campus in snow—though she figured most of the kids would be inside this time of year, thus diminishing _most _of the outdoor crowd. She looked at the girls in her second class; too much make-up, earrings bigger than their actual ears, and wearing skirts despite the weather.

'Hypothermia's gonna to suck…' Leixia thought as she rolled her eyes. There was no dress-code policy _against _skirts in the winter… though the teachers let students learn their _own _lessons.

_Brrringgg!_

Leixia's bag was far heavier than when she first arrived that morning, but now it was lunch, she left her bag their and pulled out the small rice-ball wrapped in tinfoil she'd thrown together very quickly. It was still hot as it warmed her numb hands. They tingled as she could feel the circulation returning. The braided young woman stood outside the three-story building and looked left and right. She thought about playing it cool and pacing while 'talking on the phone' which had only one bar of battery left. Finally after the second lunch bell rang, she saw a familiar red-head who smirked at her. She closed her phone and shoved it in her pocket, "It's about time."

"Well, my classes are far away! How do you like it so far?" he accompanied his younger sister across campus where he'd told Talim and Yun-Seong to wait.

"It's alright I guess; it's school." She shrugged, her brother snorted. Rather than sitting near the trees, now having the possibility of dropping ice on their heads, he met them under the pavilion near the crowded cafeteria—not even a pavilion, just part of the roof that stuck out far enough that they called it a pavilion. Leixia immediately guessed Yun-Seong was Korean—not just by his three tiered name, Hong Yun-Seong, but his facial features; higher cheek-bones and a higher nose. Still he was good-looking enough, if he could just do something about his hair. Then Talim, Leixia wasn't too sure about guessing; narrower eyes, darker skin, and a blissful two inches shorter than she was! Leixia took _any _reason to say she was taller. Talim was overly-bundled up, despite she'd been living in China for two years, she was accustomed to tropical weather.

"Guys, this is my sister who I was telling you about, Leixia. And sis, this is Talim and Yun-Seong." "

"Hey."

"Nice to meet you." They both said simultaneously. Leixia blushed, awkward.

"Nice hat." Xiba laughed the four then sat down. Talim had her forked pigtails covered by a toboggan.

"Oh shut up." She rolled her eyes, Yun-Seong chuckled at her, "The lowest we got in Cebu was SIXTY!" she had her arms dramatically folded and was curled up in a Buddha-like stance.

Leixia blinked, "Cebu? So you're from… don't tell me!" she wanted to show off her knowledge of geography. Talim scanned the girl, she was cute and seemed friendly. As she was trying to have a jolt of memory hit her, Yun-Seong kept soundlessly mouthing the answer.

Xiba cracked up as Leixia tried to decipher what he was saying. Talim caught the eighteen-year-old, "Hey!" she smacked his arm, "Let her guess!"

"Why are Filipinos so violent?!" he exaggerated.

"You're from the Philippines! I swear I was going to guess that!" she giggled, Talim nodded, finally having a female friend in the trio, now foursome.

"Yeah, I've been all over the Visayas; so, are you a junior?" she quizzed, knowing she was only a year younger than Xiba.

"No, I didn't skip a grade like that thing," she mocked, pointing at Xiba, "Heh, I'm a sophomore."

Talim leapt up, "Really?! What's your schedule?" the two girls then pondered over the purple paper as Yun-Seong scooted over towards his fellow spiky-haired companion.

"Don't look now but a blonde cutie is headed our way!" Xiba looked over to see a familiar friend walking towards them, holding her messenger bag low in front of her body.

"Hey Xiba?" Natsu called—but instead she'd gotten Leixia's attention, Talim meanwhile just discovered that the two had Chemistry together. Wait, who was this? She eyed the girl curiously.

"Yeah?" she heard her brother say.

"Could we… talk for a minute?" she hadn't noticed Leixia, let alone since she'd only seen one photo of her briefly, she could easily be just another member of the group. After Xiba responded he stood up and walked over out of ear-shot. Leixia observed the girl—she was definitely Japanese. Blonde for some reason, but Japanese; if it wasn't for her tawny hair, then her face-shape certainly would've made her stand out. Japanese citizens had more oval or heart-shaped faces compared to Chinese citizens, whose were _generally _rounder. With a blush she spoke, "Hey um… do you think we could um… spend some time together this weekend?"

"You came here just to ask me _that_?" the handsome young man chuckled, oblivious to why she was so shy. They acted as if the conversation the day before never happened—they liked to think that.

"Well, I figured with your sister being home and stuff, you'd-"

"Oh wait!" he startled her and grabbed her hand, "That reminds me!" he dragged the seventeen-year old over and had Leixia stand up, quite cheerful about it, "Natsu, I want you to meet my sister, Leixia. Leixia, this is Natsu." Leixia nodded and just looked on… for some reason she didn't like the vibe she was getting from her—nor the attention of her brother she'd accidentally stolen. Nevertheless, the blonde smiled.

"It's nice to finally meet you," she bowed with her hands still low in front of her waist, "You're a lot prettier in person than in the photo Xiba showed me." Natsu had a feeling Leixia wasn't warming up to her, she she'd try to lighten her up for now.

"Heh?" she crossed her arms, confusing Xiba, why was she suddenly unfriendly? "My brother showed you a picture of me?" she eyed him disapprovingly, making him smile with guilt.

"Of course! He's told me all about you; I'm really happy for you two."

…

Maybe this girl wasn't out to steal her brother from her… Leixia's icy heart thawed and she grinned, "It's nice to meet you two then." She bowed, making Xiba want to sigh with relief. At least his task of the day was overwith.


	24. Returning Fears

"So you had a good first day?" the siblings were on the subway home, they needed not to sit, since it was only the second stop away. Leixia held onto a pole, knowing her balance.

"Yeah, it's nice—your friends were really nice too." She especially liked Talim, who was almost exactly her age and full of spirit; though she appeared brash, she had a kind-heart. Leixia wanted to smile at Xiba, but she couldn't—he hadn't looked her in the eyes once that ride, and he kept going to bite his nail, then quickly stop. She could see him however pressing into it with his other fingers. The sister licked her lips and tried to distract him from _whatever _it could possibly be that was making him anxious. It was probably midterms.

"What do you think mom's gonna make for dinner tonight?" Food always made her brother happy—didn't it make _everyone _happy? But the young man shook his head; the subway reached the first stop before theirs.

"I don't know."

…

Normally he'd go into all sorts of possibilities—the boy loved his food after all! But something was biting at him, and Leixia knew it. His anxiety was drifting into her—it floated around the two like satellites. Xiba didn't know how to describe his anxiety; normally one could say it was like being a fish in a plastic bag that had holes in it, the water was slowly going down. But that was usually when they knew where it was coming from, and Xiba just didn't understand where his originated—why his heart was pounding faster than it should be. Snapping back into reality, he realized he had his forefinger nail close to his mouth. He forcibly occupied it by grabbing the pole his sister was holding. His skin came into contact with Leixia's, catching her off guard—he then repositioned it an inch above her hand. She scanned her dear brother… something was wrong.

"So Leixia do you like Beijing Number 55?" Xianghua handed out the hot plates of pork tenderloin with vegetables, freshly marinated and steamed. They sat in their usual seats.

"Yeah, it's cool. Xiba introduced me to his friends, one of them's in my class." Xianghua pulled her chair in, trying to think of their names—Xiba hardly ever invited friends over.

"Um let me think, is it… um…" she bit her lip.

"Talim." Xiba picked around the meat and went for the veggies first. His mouth was then full.

"Talim…?" The mother scratched her chin, she remembered the name, but not the person who owned it. Leixia finished for her brother.

"She's in my grade, she's only a month older than me." She giggled. Xianghua then startled the two by snapping her fingers.

"Oh that's right! She's Filipino!" sudden memories came to her, "She's such a sweet girl, I remember I met her family when she invited Xiba to her birthday." Leixia wanted to crack up.

"Xiba actually went to a birthday party?"

"Well…" Xiba shrugged, "It was only me, her, and Yun-Seong… lucky for me she's not a people person either." Leixia nodded, that made more sense.

"It was a year or two ago… no-no! It was this summer, her fifteenth birthday!" Xianghua's memory was scattered, "Her grandmother Kalana was so sweet! She showed me their pet bird!" Xiba wanted to laugh, but he held it in—he was chewing food. His mother put her hands on her hips, "What's so funny?"

He swallowed, "Her bird, Alun, I remember attacked you because he wanted your hairpin." He snickered, Leixia laughed, and Xianghua sneered.

"That still isn't funny!" she rubbed her head, remembering the pain, "That hurt…"

"What was funny was you screaming!" he pointed out, earning a noiseless laugh from his sister and a (hidden) giggle from his mother.

"Okay okay…" her face turned red, trying to hold in her laughter. She was just happy—and relieved—to see her son smiling again, "Let's just eat and not bring back that traumatizing memory." The woman said as a joke. Xiba snorted; happy he was smiling again as well. The three then dined together. It was late in the evening, and Xiba hadn't even finished his mound of homework yet. He had a three-page essay to write in Traditional Pinyin format, and a 200 question packet for Physics. All due at the end of the week—and it was already Tuesday. Let's get this over with he told himself. He listened to the water run in the bathroom across the hall. Leixia was taking a shower… the hot water must feel nice in the icy cold weather, that's what Xiba thought the morning prior… and that's all he _should've _been thinking. He'd gone into a daze… why wasn't he happy about his sister being home? What was going through his mind?

Xiba flipped his arm over and looked at his wrist—three swollen slashes that were fading at least. But why? Why did he think that when he saw the plastic shard broken off one of the shampoo bottles? Why did he let himself go through with it? Why was he thinking about it now even?! He looked at the bottle of pills with frantic eyes—only a few left. When he went to bring it over to dry-swallow one, he noticed how shaky his hands were. Voices were swimming through his head, all of them her recognized; his mother's, his sister's, his father's, his friends'…

_I want you to be __**my**__ little girl._

"God! Damn it!" He shouted slamming his head face down into the desk. Now he was _angry_, so full of hatred and annoyance. He held his head as he breathed furiously. Leixia, who'd heard the loud bang turned off the water and stepped out, her hair dripping water all over the bathmat. Their mother was in the kitchen; the combined noises of the television, her washing the dishes, and the shower nearby made it difficult to notice anything. Not noticing that Xiba was so sick of emotions, so tired of them… so tired of people that made him _feel _anything.

"Xiba?!" Leixia busted in. Her hair was wrapped in a towel, but her body was dry enough that she threw on a long sports jersey. It stretched to her knees. He slowly lifted his head; now he realized what he'd done… he'd caused trouble yet again.

"Hey."

"What's going on in here?"

"Nothing!" He joyfully reassured, forcing a nervous smile. There was an awkward pause.

…

…

"What's going on out there?" he replied.

"Ugh," the young woman sighed, "I heard a bang and I'm pretty sure it came from in here." Xiba stood up from his seat.

"Well, that was me." The young man admitted. He hated the concerned look in her eyes.

"What's wrong?"

"I…" maybe he could tell her—just let out that everything with him was wrong, that he had something not functioning right in his head, "I just got frustrated with homework." Crap… instead he chose what he normally chose… a bullshit response. Leixia seemed to buy it, nodding her head. But then she cocked it to the side like a confused dog, as if studying him… Xiba hated that… he hated being observed, especially by people who cared about him and worried about him.

"Well, it's all not due until Friday, right? Why not just pack it in for the night, it's almost eleven." He scratched his spiky short hair.

"I'm fine… I just needed a second to blow off some steam."

There was yet another pause. He wasn't sure if his sister believed him or not, but she seemed to be too tired to really want to worry about it anyway. Leixia nodded, "Okay… will you walk me through my odd day classes tomorrow morning?"

"Definitely." He scratched his cheek, falling back into the chair. She went to close the door.

"Kay, night."

…

Relieved, yet full of regret at the same time, Xiba was left in his dark room… his ceiled space of confinement, his cage adorned with haunting memories… but he was alright with his cage… it was all he had. Xiba decided to take his sister's advice and call it a night, but before he could even put his belongings back into his bag and hop into bed, he sauntered over to the window seat and peered through the shut blinds.

_**出租**_

_**For Rent**_

The house across the street was labeled. And it better stay that way.


	25. Old Troubles

That first night—it was a beautiful night in Beijing of 2003; it was warm, the fall fruits and multi-colored leaves were in bloom. It was celestial… but not for the Chai family—what was left of it. The eleven year old Xiba was in tears, lying on his bed facing the wall. Xianghua gently ran her fingers through his hair, "It's going to be okay." She whispered; her voice softer than snowflakes, "Just try and sleep on it for now."

"I'm having a hard time breathing." The pre-adolescent gulped some more air, "Why is my heart pounding so much?" tears lay dry on his cheeks, leaving behind a trail from his red eyes. His body had finally stopped grieving at least—physically anyway. His mother tucked him in more snug.

"It's just anxiety; everyone gets it." She rubbed his shoulder, "We're going to be fine." Xiba sniffled, then he huffed and puffed some more air involuntarily. Xianghua continued to gently caress her child. She knew he was too old for lullabies, but she had to lull him to sleep somehow, "Close your eyes, my son. Do not look with them. Do not look at what is happening in front of you. You do not have to see what is happening. How you see things does not come from your eyes… it comes from your heart." The mother's words were delicate and gentle, "Because your heart is… floating. Your heart is spreading… your heart is cruising; cruising in the ocean of spirit. In the ocean of freedom." She caressed her young boy's cheek one more time, "You don't have to open your eyes to see magic happen… you only have to open your heart." And with that, Xiba's heavy and bloodshot eyes closed gently. He sighed what air he could take in one more time before falling into a deep realm of rest, "_Wo ai ni_." She whispered.

"Sweet dreams."

Not even five years later could the young man figure out what had first triggered his anxiety attacks. Even now, as the sixteen year old tried to rest, he breathed heavily; closing his eyes to maybe trick himself that he was sleeping. His chest felt empty—no heart beat, no oxygen, but a mist of heat and worry. He took in one long breath of air, trying to space out his intake of air.

_Ahhh… ohhh…_

Xiba was relieved for but a moment, as his lungs soon demanded more air.

_Ahhh… ohhh…_

God damn it; it was more irritating than anything. Xiba had become tolerant of his strange episodes for the past five years… if he tried to explain it to anyone they wouldn't understand. His chest ached, but the ripped teenager was accustomed to it. For surely enough he would soon fall asleep and his breaths would even themselves out on their own. And like he'd predicted, he was soon possessed by the paralysis of sleep; his heavy breaths decreased to soft, even breaths. But the poor Xiba couldn't get a break, for a noise clawed its way into his dream. It was the sound of a door opening—his logic kicked in and assumed it was the bathroom door across the hall, maybe even the clock in his mother's office sounding exaggerated due to his state of sleep.

_No… don't wake up._ His conscious told him, but the dream began to dissolve. He liked being asleep; the real-world couldn't touch him or worry him when he was cut off from it, _don't wake up._ Xiba, unable to truly communicate with his conscious and unconscious, blinked his eyes until the vision before him was gone. With an agitated groan, the young man stretched to get more comfortable, and then turned to face the wall. The young man was a zombie; he'd be back asleep within five minutes of closing his eyes. But as they adjusted something seemed off about his room. Xiba noticed a vertical, pale light coming in through the crack of his door—Xiba always kept his door closed!

His instincts jolting his intellect and adrenaline, the red-haired boy sat upright and turned to face the door… it was more than a crack open. Xianghua usually didn't check on him at night but when she did she _always_ knew to close his door back. And Leixia, why on earth would she be sneaking into his room on a school night? He would've been woken up by now if she were feeling troubled. Someone else was in the house… "Oh shit." He soundlessly mouthed, his heart now beating like a steam hammer. If the sound of his heart fighting to bust through his chest didn't give him away, he didn't know what could. At least he had nearly eleven years of martial arts on his side—he hoped. Xiba never knew if he'd forgotten his techniques or not, he'd never had to actually _use _them… yet.

Hesitant, the teenager slipped across his room and barely peered his head out into the hallway, seeing nothing to his left and right. Leixia's door was wide open, he could see her fast asleep in her bed, unharmed. Xiba opened the door wider and silently planted one foot on the cold floor in front of him. Then the other cautiously followed. Trying not to breathe loudly, although his racing heart and increased speed of breaths wanted him to—he shook off his fears and looked out into the living room. Nothing out of sorts there… then the television room and kitchen seemed untouched; and the young man certainly didn't hear anyone trying to be sneaky. Maybe his paranoia had gotten the best of him again, his mother would have yelled if she saw someone in her room, "Christ…" he swiped his face with his palm; he'd nearly caused a racket for no reason.

Closing his door behind him, the now freezing Xiba went to fold himself back up underneath his sheets when.

_Scree…_

He froze. It was the sound of the sliding door that led to the patio.

…_eeeka-ch!_

It reached the end and locked. His eyes were wide and his body was stiff. His instincts hadn't fooled him! That's when he heard the sound of someone wearing shoes try and prowl across the Chai household. It was definitely moving in a stealthy way… but not too stealth; it _wanted _him to hear it! But Xiba's body wouldn't listen to his commands of dashing out the room and attacking. He was the man of the house, the guard-dog, the protector. He couldn't be a poltroon now! His knob turned…

He heard the sound of metal rattling and slowly turning… like in an Edgar Allen Poe story Xiba had to read for International Literature Day in middle school—he couldn't remember the name, but the mad-man of the story had taken an hour to open the door as to not to wake the man he plotted to kill. That man could be Xiba! Quickly ducking onto his side, gritting his teeth, and trying to curl up like a sleeping dog so that maybe he would somehow blend in with the messy covers, the sixteen year old held his breath. The door was open.

The most painful… most lengthy silence Xiba had ever endured then engaged. He could feel the eyes of some sort of predator watching him; its stare bore right through his back. He tensed up and trembled, trying not to gasp from holding his breath. He heard a noise… it was his door closing a bit, then stopping. The prowler hadn't seen anything of value and left the room, but then it headed to its right; his little sister! "Leixia!" he gasped, sitting upright, looking at his half-open door.

…

"UWAAAA!"

"SHUT-UP!" a hoarse voice cried—but not as distinctive as the shriek of terror from his sister's throat. Without a moment's hesitation, Xiba charged out of his room, her screams suddenly ceased, as if she'd swallowed her own tongue.

"LEIXIA!" Xiba pounded her door against the wall, he didn't even turn on a light; oh god the prowler had her neck in his hands, shaking her, just like how a dog shakes its toy. He would then realize how much he loved his sister when he _pounced _and violently grappled the man by his neck, head-locking him, "GET OFF OF MY SISTER!" Leixia fell out of her bed, bringing her sheets down with her, clenching at her throat and choking as she gulped for air. As the young man struggled with the prowler, it somehow managed to elbow him forcefully in the abdomen, but Xiba had too much adrenaline to react or feel _anything _but fear. But no matter, the prowler wanted him to see his face, to be reminded who he was… he'd seen the young man when he was just a young boy… oh how he'd longed to see his and his sister's youthful faces again. When Xiba attempted to pin him down, he'd caught a glimpse of the man's face.

With eyes resembling those of Satan himself, he recognized the dark-haired, middle-aged young man who'd been involved in their lives years ago. His flesh was wasted away and his voice was as though his mouth were full of sea-weed, "I know what you need." Xiba then screamed himself awake.

Upright in his bed, clutching onto the sheets that had been twisted around his legs and torso, Xiba was awake; awake and trembling with fear. Soaked from his head to his chest with cold sweat, his eyes nearly filled his entire face. The man was back! Oh Jesus God Mary the man was… gone. The young man's heart pounded as he panted away his fears, gasping for breath. Xiba curled up his knees to his body and he buried his face into them.

X-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-X

"I had a really weird dream last night." Natsu announced to Xiba, who'd been resting his head in his hands. They sat in their Trig class, waiting for their perfectly late teacher.

"Really?" He chuckled, deciding to humor her, "What happened?"

"Well… I'm not even sure myself!" the adolescent laughed, "It was me and a few of my friends back in Japan, and we were trying to catch this train in the middle of a forest-" she was interrupted by Xiba's snickering, "Don't question it!" she pointed a finger, but she knew that this subject would earn a smile—his enchanting smile—in return, "And we somehow kept missing it even though I never _saw _an actual train; I just magically knew…" she listened to her handsome friend snort and chuckle… it was a soothing sound considering the preceding conversation they'd had Monday.

"Oh by the way," Xiba interrupted, "About this weekend uh…" he'd thought of it, but hadn't even mentioned it to his mother yet, "You come over for dinner at my place?" the two were mature enough, and he was sure that if her godmother knew she was going to a house where two girls lived, she'd be fine. But Natsu's eyes widened and she blushed.

"Y-y-your place… as in your house?" it was like taking a whole new step. But Xiba, still oblivious, raised a brow.

"Well, yeah… but we could you know chill at a nearby cave if that's what you're into." He joked, letting his unusual goofy side come into play. It always came in handy at times. Natsu let out an exasperated laugh—when she informed Taki of this, she wouldn't take no for an answer.

"No no I just… yes! It'd be fun." She gently pushed into her cheek, beaming red and full of heat. Xiba saw the blush and grinned… she was cute with that sanguine face.

"Hey, where do you normally sit at lunch?" _that _caught her off guard, "I never see you around."

"Oh well, sometimes I just sit with a group of girls in my social studies class." She fibbed, not wanting to admit she sat a table with random people and blended into the background. The young man nodded.

"Oh, okay… I was gonna ask if you ever wanted to sit with my friends and I sometime." Natsu didn't want to be greedy or selfish… but she wanted Xiba to herself if she was going to spend time with him. She wanted his attention on _her _alone. And she wanted to focus on nothing but him without being judged. But she couldn't be that way, especially with his sister living with him again.

"Nah, it's fine. Besides, we're all cramming for midterms together." She giggled, trying to kindly refuse his offer.

"Okey doke." He turned to the front of the class, the students heard their teacher open and shut the classroom door. At lunch the gang of (now) four joined each other in the snowy outdoors. Xiba continued his yearly tradition of mocking Talim for overdoing her winter gear, while the others simply wore a second jacket over their uniforms. Leixia had forgotten her mittens, so her hands were numb as she tried to open her lettuce-wrap in the tinfoil.

"Oh hey, we have chemistry together after this!" Talim pointed out to the young lady. Leixia was excited she'd finally be making a friend that wasn't a relative… a true, genuine friend. Talim had already shown interest in being her companion; after all she was Xiba's for the three years he'd known Yun-Seong.

"Awesome." She flatly said, "I already took chemistry you know, so I can just give you all the answers."

"Pfft~the teacher does that for us every day—I swear he hates his job!" as the two girls conversed, the South Korean noticed his younger friend continuously rubbing his eyes, dark lines outlined their almond shape.

"You alright Xiba?" he'd snapped the adolescent back into reality—barely.

"Mm? Yeah, I'm exhausted." And for once, it was the _truth_. Yun-Seong however raised a suspicious brow.

"You sure?"

"Positive, I kept waking up last night and couldn't fall back asleep." He half-lied, luckily his sister hadn't heard him so she could call him out on waking her up from having nightmares. Leixia confronted him that morning while Xianghua was concerned about him. Then again, Xianghua's room wasn't directly next door to his. Instead of interrogating him farther, he nodded his head.

"Ah, I gotcha; I remember once I was having this dream that I was riding a bike—and then my shoelace got caught and as I was about to fall on my head straight on, I jerked awake and I couldn't breathe." He chuckled, but unfortunately, the Korean hadn't even brought a smirk to his pal's face. Yun-Seong frowned, "You sure everything's alright?" Xiba was already irritable from the lack of sleep; repeatedly asking him a question he'd already answered wouldn't help.

"I said yes, Yun-Seong." He growled. His friend then playfully held his hands up as if being pulled over.

"Alright alright, no need for violence." He then heard a snicker from his long-time buddy—it felt nice getting him to lighten up when he was stressed. He could tell something was up with his dear friend, but whenever Yun-Seong tried to be serious, everyone was so used to his cheerful goofiness, no one would listen, "Hey Xiba?" the copper-eyed, drowsy teenager raised his brows, eyes gently closed yet he was listening, "You know I'm always here for ya… I always got your back." It was awkward even for him to open up like that… but he meant it with every inch of his heart. Xiba had no idea where the sudden sincerity came from; he opened his eyes. Just looking into the Korean's eyes proved to him that he meant it.

"Thank you…" he mumbled, trying his hardest to make it through the day without passing out.


End file.
